I am not the best of persons, or even the best of dad’s.  I try.  This journey of life, seeking to hear the voice of God and live accordingly, involves a lot of stumbling along the way.  So today I will deal with a hypothetical.  What would I do, should my son or daughter contact me and tell me he or she was gay?  It is a fair question to come my way, and deserves an honest answer.  And I know for many it is not just a matter of contemplation, but reality.  I do not want to dismiss the struggle of these moms and dads, nor their children.  They can surely teach me something.  And I will defer to their wisdom.

So, I love my son and two daughters.  It is unconditional.  I would like to think there is nothing they could say or do, no position they could take on any issue or relationship they would choose to enter that would change my decision to love.  It is part of the fiber of me.  I could never turn my back or disavow my child.  Although, to be honest, the fleeting thought has crossed my mind.  The exasperation of a rebellious child will do it.  But the bond is stronger than the frustration or disappointment. 

Several years ago my daughter moved in with her boyfriend.  “Shacking up” is what I call it.  I think it is sin, not a proper use of the gift of sex or a proper expression of love, does not reflect the teaching of the Bible and does not honor Christ.  And it was embarrassing to me.  But she was an adult paying her own bills and making her own decisions.  So I made a personal decision not to enter into the home in which she was living, as long as this manner of relationship continued.  I was there for her in every other way and kept the lines of communication open.  Eventually the situation changed and we continue to have an OK relationship.  I handled it the best I could at the time.  Now, today, I might deal with it differently.  My opinions about premarital sex and “shacking up” have not changed.  But today I would probably go ahead and enter the home, and try a little harder to get along with the guy- mostly for her sake.  I’m learning that building walls, even though they seem to me to be righteous walls, do not seem to help the greater cause.  And what is the greater cause?  It is for my child to be the best person she can be, having a healthy relationship with God, and making a positive difference in the lives of others.

So, what would I do?  Initially I would try not to react too strongly or emotionally, at the moment, because it would unnecessarily make the other person defensive.  I would try to say that I do not agree with your choice, but I love you, and we will work through this matter of our relationship together.  I would certainly try to keep the lines of communication open.  And, I would pray a lot.  I would pray for my child, and I would pray for myself.  I would ask God to help me have the love of Christ for my child- unconditional.  Now, would I visit in their home and socialize with the couple?  I think, at this time in my life, I would find a way.  Hopefully I am coming to the point that I am no longer overly concerned with the approval of others.  They either like me or they do not, they either approve or disapprove of my behavior, but I am no longer living to please them.  To honor Christ is to be able to lay my head on the pillow at night and sleep well.  Given time and work, I could see myself becoming a friend with his or her “partner”.  Maybe.  They could worship at my church without sermons targeted toward their specific situation.  Undoubtedly some would whisper.  But we let sinners come to church, all kinds of sinners, including the Baptist variety.

But I would always pray, and hope, that my child would change.  Who you live with, and sleep with, is a choice.  What you do with your sexual desires is a choice.    Such matters should be turned over to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.  When you give your life to Him, without reservation or exception, then you experience the greatest of peace and joy.  And such is what I want for my child- nothing more, or less.

God Used A Drag Queen To Save My Life - Paying It Forward

Interesting article.  Although at the moment I do not have time to sit down and carefully outline my thoughts, I would like to consider a few of the issues that come to mind.  I will seek to be honest.  Realize that my views grow and sometimes change as enlightenment comes from many places, including God’s Spirit.

Question: Can God minister to others through a Drag Queen?  Well, of course.  God’s in charge, and all of nature and humanity ultimately subject to His will.  The crass old saying, taken I think from the book of Numbers and shared with me by a fellow minister who thought I was perhaps getting a bit cocky, “God spoke through Balaam’s Ass, so I guess he can speak through you.”  I believe God endorses and works through many avenues and persons, and regularly through people who do not toe the line with my particular brands of theology and lifestyle. 

More pertinent question: Can a Drag Queen be a Christian?  Well, one needs to define the word.  If a Christian is an individual who perfectly obeys and reflects Jesus Christ, then the answer is no.  Such qualification also leaves out every person on the face of the earth.  Is a Christian someone who submits properly to the Lordship of Jesus Christ with his or her sexuality?  That seems to me too narrow of a definition.  I do not think it is proper to single out a particular aspect of life and then to define/judge a person according to his allegiance to the matter in your eyes.  I think it is OK to debate and consider the matter, and then come to the personal conclusion that it is not Christian to be a drag queen- i.e. living this way and doing these things do not properly honor and reflect Jesus Christ.  But it is hard for me to see how any of us have the right to infer, further, that the same person cannot have a personal and real relationship with Jesus.  I cannot read his heart.  Instead, seems to me, we all struggle in life and we all fall short.  My particular struggle does not include sexual identity, and for that I am grateful.  But if I were raised under different circumstance, if I had different critical and formational experiences along the way, if I were born with different innate desires- then this could very well be my struggle.  But I do fight with other things, including character issues.  I eat too much and judge too fast.  I can be lazy, not using the gifts and intellect given to me by God to fullest extent.  And I could go on- but you get the idea.  If he cannot be a Christian because at this point in life he is a drag queen- even though in many other areas he may reflect Christ well- then I probably do not have a chance either.

There is a lot more here to consider.  I may interact with this article for a few more posts.  Now I’m not interested in fighting with anybody who wants to start punching at me because I see things differently.  Respectful conversation- sure!

Here’s a question I think I’d like to consider…  If my child were to come home one day and tell me he/she were gay, how would I respond?  Obviously, many of us would agree, his mother blew it.  She would likely, now, admit the same.  I’d like to do better, although no guarantees.  Interestingly, a fellow Christian shared with me earlier this week that his estranged daughter is visiting this weekend with her “partner”, and asked for my guidance and prayers.  So as is usually the case, I’ve been forced to more personally consider a matter that I would rather avoid.  More with the next post!

I fill with joy and the highest of respect for my daughter, Krystal, as we celebrate her graduation from Richmont University with a Master of Arts in Professional Counseling.

Just a few days ago, it seems, she was a little girl sitting on my lap as we would read a book and talk silly things.  Now she is grown, and I could not be more proud of the quality person I see before me.  Of course she has always been bright, pretty, kind, and the sum of many other adjectives that come from a doting parent.  I think the word that fits and serves her well is “kind”.  Beauty and brightness can be superficial, and even detrimental to the development of more enduring qualities.  But to treat others with gentleness and earnestness, to know how to be a real friend, to willingly invest self in enabling others to shine- these reveal a special person.  So is my Krystal!  Such does not come from College or graduate degree.  Nor can I take credit.  But it sure is nice to be able to stand back and see this person, and then boast (mostly to myself) that I’m her dad.

I think of how it has always been her tendency to reach out to others and draw them into her friendship.  It was not the loudest or shiniest that got her attention.  The most valuable diamond at first glance may not glow the brightest.  Along the way, she would find friends and introduce them to the family.  And I would watch as, characteristically, these little boys and girls would brighten inside and out as they would come to know my daughter.  Also, her habit has been to keep her friends.  She has served as Maid of Honor for several weddings – those dresses can be expensive for a young lady working her way through graduate school, but worth it for a friend!  Old-time pals, sisters from High School days, took her out after the ceremony for dinner and celebration.  I think of Tomer, her Jewish buddy, who comes to spend the holidays with us because Krystal wanted him to know what it was like to wake up on Christmas morning and open up gifts.

“A man that hath friends must show himself friendly..” -   Proverbs 18:24.  Myself included, a person could learn much from Krystal.  She has friends of many sizes, shapes, and sexual orientation.  They come, literally, in a variety of colors and religious persuasion.  I think they consider it to be something special to be her friend.  I know I do.

Recently she and I went car shopping.  Her old green boat-of-a-car was on its last gasp.  It had served her well for over 6 years as we  managed repeatedly to tape and wire it together for a few more miles, and then a few more miles.  Finally we found the car she wanted and she signed on the dotted line.  At that moment I remembered a conversation the two of us shared many years ago.  She shook her head and insisted that she was going to be different from her dear old dad.  Her own person.  And I have a always sought to encourage this.  But now…. She is strong in her faith in God.  She has laid the groundwork for a career of serving and helping others.  Though she is prettier than me, I am pretty sure there is a little bit of myself in that mischievous smile.  And the car- she chose the same make, and model, as mine! 

I like her taste in cars.  I adore my little girl.

Below you will find a graduation picture.  See the smile?  Isn’t she so very huggable!

In the last 24 hours I have been asked for help by my four “regulars”.  I try to keep a grateful perspective about material needs, and a kind attitude toward others.  After all, like all others, I’m not an island.  So I try to give when I can and do so with as much a non-judgmental attitude as possible.  And when in doubt, usually I am willing to err on the side of generosity.  But today is Monday, and I am pretty much tapped out financially and emotionally.

One guy periodically calls wanting to borrow $20.  I know in the past he had a crack addiction, and that a “rock” of crack cocaine costs $20.  I ask him what is the need for the money, and he tells me it is for his prescription medication.  It sounds suspicious, but I sure do not want a person to not have needed medication.  His wife has a good paying job, so I ask him why he does not get the money from her?  He said he asked, but she was unwilling to help.  A lot of red flags here, but still who knows?  So I told him ok, that I would go by the ATM and get $20.  Well, for some reason, the ATM machine would not function.  As I look back, I believe it is because it is my habit to open the door and stand at the machine when I withdraw money.  I left the car door open, and I believe the machine is programmed not to work when the car door is open.  This has happened before, and I have finally put 2 and 2 together.  So I called him back and told him sorry, but I could not help him.  And I felt better about not giving the guy the money, as if it was the right response to begin with.  Later I learned a friend of his was with him, a person known to use drugs.  So I am glad I did not help this person.

Last night, a guy called at 8 p.m. needing gas for his car.  It was a bit irritating that he called so late.  We have been praying for him to find a job for several months.  And I have helped him with gas several times previously.  Now he has been hired, he says with excitement, and training begins tomorrow.  So I put on my shoes and drove to meet him at a gas station close to his home.  The rain was pouring down, and he was late.  Still, I think this was a worthy investment.  My only admonition was to look him in the eye and say, “Remember to be grateful to God!”  So many people are humble and eager to look to God when in need, and then forget to be just as focused on God when life gets better.

This morning, a guy called early to tell me he had a toothache.  Well, I’m not a dentist!  He said he needed some Anbesol and a pack of cigarettes, and could I help?  I told him I’ve never bought a pack of cigarettes in my life, and his would not be the first.  But I will help him out with the toothache medication.  And I told him I would see him at about 9:30 a.m.  He wanted me to come earlier, but that was not going to happen.  Then about 9:15 he called to instruct me to just stop at a drug store and pick up his stuff and bring it to him.  I said sorry, I do not do curbside service or deliveries.  If he needs something, I’ll give him a ride to the store, and he can get out of the car and get what he needs.  And that we did.  He got 2 packs of cigarettes, and store-brand toothache medications.  This guy calls me his “pastor”, calls me on the phone a lot with similar matters.  Sometimes I wonder why I give him so much attention.  But, I like him.

And, about an hour ago, my “homeless” friend called.  He has managed to get an apartment and some expensive car repair from other sources.  But periodically he will call me for gas and food.  I try to oblige.  He is mentally ill and a deeply sad person.  And I do what I can, and always try to give him my time even when I can give nothing else.  This was one of those times when the money just was not available.  He needed a truck to move some stuff from storage.  I told him sorry, but I could not help.  But I quickly added to not take this as a final answer for future needs- to stay in touch.  And he told me that I was his best friend.  I sighed, and thought he probably tells that to everybody! 

I agree with Chris Broussard.  A day ago I did not know of him.  He works as an ESPN sportscaster, at least for now.  He appeared on a cable show interestingly named “Outside The Lines” in which he was asked to give his personal opinion about the announcement by Jason Collins that he is gay.  Again, I have never watched the show.  But with a name like that, what would one think to be the format of discussion?  Surely a guest would be allowed, even encouraged, to state viewpoints that are not necessarily politically correct or held by the majority.  Instead, he would feel free to give an opinion that would spur the audience to consider matters in a different way.  Well apparently, a lot of people consider this to be true except when your opinion is conservative and Christian. 

Here is a link to the entire conversation .  It is about 13 minutes in length.  Broussard comes across as tolerant and respectful.  And when asked his personal opinion, he does not back down.  He is a Christian and believes the Bible teaches homosexuality is a sin.  Specifically he believes all sex outside of marriage is outside the intention of God; as he states, “walking in open rebellion to God”.  This guy is a sports analyst for ESPN; he is not a theologian, Bible scholar, or expert on Christianity.  During the interview he is asked his opinion about several things concerning Jason Collins, and repeatedly appears fair minded and reasonable.  Then comes, in response to query, his personal  thoughts about the compatibility of homosexuality and Christianity.  Being in the spotlight, I think he did a good job.  I admire this man and I am now his fan.  He is going to get a lot of grief from the liberal establishment for simply stating an opinion when asked.  And unfortunately, the Christian and conservative majority of our country will likely turn a deaf ear and just hope the matter will go away so they can continue to work and go to church and keep their mouths shut.  Cowards.  It is high time we stand with earnest and gentle men like Chris Broussard. 

The other man in the conversation is LZ Granderson, a former athlete and sportscaster, and homosexual.  He and Broussard are colleagues and friends who happen to disagree on this issue.  Both speak well of one another.  Granderson notes the historical importance of this event for the broader national discussion of the issue of gay rights.  He states that what we need, at this time, is respectful conversation.  And, he says, what we do not need from those on his side of the debate is a knee jerk reaction- to quickly label the other guy as bigoted and intolerant just because he disagrees.  He says it is unproductive to want to shout down the other person and not hear what the person has to say.  Further, he says, there is a difference that must be respected between tolerance and acceptance.  And I say good for you, LZ Granderson!  I am now a fan of you, too.  Indeed uncomfortable conversations are necessary.

I am thankful and surprised that ESPN has yet to apologize for the remarks of Broussard.  Explanations by ESPN and Broussard are several.  I hope he stands his ground and is not intimidated into a tearful apology and epiphany about the matter.  The American sports community, and this important issue of debate, deserve better. 

I have been doing some admittedly crude, but I believe necessary, thinking about Jason Collins and the impact of homosexuality on our culture.  By now you are likely aware that Collins is an NBA basketball player who has stated publicly that he is gay, doing so through an article in Sports Illustrated magazine.  So I get to thinking about the lifestyle of professional athletes.  They make a lot of money and they work hard.  Basically their lives are consumed with sports careers.  The playing seasons stretch out to 6 months or more.  15 supremely athletic men live communally for half a year.  They do lots of things together- play, eat, travel.  They share rooms, buses, and planes.  And yes, let’s get it out in the open- they shower together.  Now by admitting that he is gay, Collins is stating personally something that is rudimentary about his inward desires.  His sexual inclinations are focused toward men in the same fashion that heterosexual men look toward women.  Should you put a straight man into a roomful of naked women, and especially if you were to do this regularly, most likely he would notice their bodies and be aroused.  I realize some guys would say no- they would not, and others would claim it would simply be part of the job and they could forego the desires.  But most guys, almost all guys of heterosexual orientation, would have a really difficult time not being sexually aroused when in a roomful of fit, naked, wet women.  It is human nature- it is how men are wired as heterosexuals.  And,  society acknowledges this.  Public life is not one big nudist colony- we wear clothes.  We have separate bathroom facilities.  Campgrounds, gymnasiums, and beaches have separate showering facilities labeled for men and women.  Why?  Because, generally speaking, innately we are modest concerning the exposure of our bodies to the opposite sex.

So along comes Jason Collins to an NBA communal shower facility.  He has admitted that he looks upon men in the same way that most men look upon women.  But most men know that it is not proper, nor even “right”, to shower with a bunch of women.  Most of those women would have an instilled modesty and would reserve such intimacy for more private occasions and special persons.  So the obvious questions: Can a gay man summarily turn off his innate sexual desires when exposed to naked men?  Not if being gay is inborn and basic to personhood, as claimed.  Since his sexual orientation inclines him to desire men, it seems logical to me that out of a sense of decency and modesty, and respect toward other men, he should stay away from public and work-related places where men would be nude.  

Since we are fast approaching the point in our society where being gay in a civil right, we will have to adapt public and private facilities to accommodate.  We will have to add a third category- Men’s, Women’s, and Gay.  If it is wrong for a man to enter a bathroom or shower facility reserved for women, then is it not equally wrong for a gay man to enter a men’s facility?  Even now, as I write the last sentence, I can hear the accusations booming of this being homophobic.  But is there something innately “wrong” with a man who does not want a woman standing next to him while at the urinal, or with a woman who does not want a man in the changing room while she adjusts her bra?  To me, such begs toward common sense, and a basic sense of decency. 

Mormon Bishop With Samurai Sword Saves Neighbor From Attack

I read this with great concern.  There is a Mormon temple just a few miles down the road from my home.  And, with Springtime rolling into Summer, Mormon missionaries mounted on bikes will be canvassing neighborhoods across the nation.  I worry for the safety of our families and the defenseless elderly.  Apparently, not only will these guys come armed with the Book of Mormon, but also a samurai sword.  Of course they have the right to talk their religion and convert anyone willing to buy their brand of the gospel.  But more than a tad of coercion comes to play when the missionary holds a 29-inch carbon steel blade to your cheek.  I call upon all citizens to be diligent- these guys may appear clean-shaven and all American, but you could lose more than your salvation by allowing them into your homes.  And I think it is time to add samurai swords to the list of dangerous weapons, to be regulated.  Harry Reid, majority leader of the Senate, is a Mormon.  Perhaps, in keeping with the tenets of his faith, he secretly wields a blade when meeting with our President?  The secret service should at least be aware.

Quick thoughts...

Headline: 2nd child of Pa. couple, who seek prayer not doctors, dies; violates probation, no charges yet

First of all, I want to make the point loudly and clearly, these people are an aberration.  They are not representative of Christians, even fundamentalist Christians, and I venture to say they are not even representative of those who believe in divine healing.  God can and does perform miracles.  However, if every sickness and physical challenge were meant to be healed by God and all we need is to have enough faith, then the logical conclusion is there would be no death and therefore we would be stuck in these aging and decaying bodies for all time.  I’m sorry, but that does not sound like Paradise to me.  And, such a simple theology is an insult to countless people of great faith, who dearly have loved God, yet succumbed to death.  In addition, I will add, biblical teaching does not support the shunning of medical care and medicine as an act of faith in God.  Luke, who wrote 25% of the New Testament, was a physician.  Healings, abundantly performed by Jesus in the gospels, always served a greater purpose than simply the well-being of the infirmed.  They were signs pointing to Him as the Messiah.  And, Paul instructed Timothy to “drink a little wine for the stomach’s sake”, and for his many infirmities.  What he did not do is send him a prayer cloth, ask for a donation, and promise divine healing in return.

So this mom and dad allowed their 8-month-old child to die from diarrhea, and two years ago another child died due to neglect of similar conditions?  How very sad.  At this time, these parents  had best adopt a much more liberal understanding of God.  Because, if God is as interventionist and direct in matters of this world as thy have believed , then I recall some words of Jesus warning those who would harm a little child- It would be better for them if a millstone were tied around their necks and they were cast into the deepest part of the sea.  Right now, I’d volunteer to tie the knots.

On Tuesday, I drove up to Dahlonega to visit with an old friend and fellow church member.  The gentleman will soon turn 91.  He lives in a big house all alone, although his daughter and caretaker resides just a few miles down the road.  I brought along a mutual friend who is just a few years younger, though he seems to get around a lot better.  It was nice to sit back and listen to them talk about old times and old ways.  The good-natured tale about this man is that he is a cheapskate.  And I listened as the story was reinforced once again while we drove to his house.  So it was fun, and likely more truly revealing of his understanding of money, that he insisted upon taking us out for lunch at a nice restaurant.  Funny, but I don't recall my fellow rider ever making such an offer!  We dined on fried chicken and cabbage, and talked about old friends, church, and God.  And it seemed to me this man had more to say about God than any previous visit.  The old saying is that one starts “cramming for the final examination” as he gets closer to leaving this world.  And this could be such a matter- who truly knows a man’s heart, except God?  But I sensed that he has spent a good bit of time considering deeper matters.  In the past he has never really impressed me as being introspective.  But the last ten years have been rather tough.   In succession he has gotten older and health has deteriorated.  And he lost a mate of 66 years.  Such things will change a person and, perhaps, even make you better.

I would not describe him as happy.  For some, and I will place myself in the category, such is an elusive description.  We will have to strive for something different and maybe better.  But, even as he was aware that life in this place will soon be over, there seemed a peaceful resign.  He was ready.  In the past I have not particularly thought of him as a man of high vocabulary.  Still, when he talked to me about God that day, it was real.  God was real to him.  He loved God.  And there was a gentleness, and earnestness, in the things he had to say about life.  His perspective was simple, but certainly not simplistic.  Obviously, those hours in that house were not really spent alone.

Earlier in the week, when we talked on the phone, he asked if I would conduct his funeral?  The request is always a privilege to me.  The responsibility involves reminding others of a life composed of many relationships and chapters, and then of the comfort offered by God.  And I truly believe, when all is said and done, that we preach our own funerals.  The best thing the preacher can do is to not get in the way.  After our visit on Tuesday, I feel better about this man.  And I told him I would be glad to oversee his memorial service, but only on condition that I outlive him.  We shall see.

I spent about an hour visiting at the home of Roy and Gwen , good friends and fellow members of the church I pastor.  They have a big, comfortable, “country” spread of about 4 acres located an hour north of Atlanta.  Roy is a retired machinist and Gwen worked with the school system.  And now, among many pursuits that keep them quite busy, they tend bees.  Periodically they will give me a jar of honey, and I have been threatening to stop by to see the operation for quite a while.  Their home is located beyond the suburbs, in one of those areas that was once no doubt farmlands and woodlands, but is now dotted with big country estates and cookie-cutter rows of identical dwellings, owned by people who faintly try to look the part but in reality know little about country living.  Roy and Gwen are the exceptions.  Previously they lived in another formerly rural area that was swallowed up by one of the first waves of exodus from the big city.  To their blessing, McDonald’s wanted the property and paid well.  So, now they sit surrounded by woods, enjoying retirement quite well.

A couple of years ago they had 12 beehives.  Now it is down to 4.  One reason he wanted to get into beekeeping was because he noticed how few of the once abundant insects were now around to pollinate his garden.  Roy is careful with how he tends to the bees and extracts the honey.  He tells me they “live the life of Reilley”, having everything they may need through his diligent care.  So, why are his bees dying?  A few years ago, such was to be blamed to disease and mites.  But that’s now under control.  So I asked him to tell me what he thinks is going on?  Roy tells me there is another beekeeper living in a cluster neighborhood a few miles to the west.  He was there before the hundreds of urbanites surrounded his home.  A Homeowners Association was established.  And soon complaints were being registered about his bees.  They were buzzing in the yards and flower gardens making people uncomfortable.  Parents were afraid for children to play outside, and there were reports that a few people were even stung by bees!  Imagine that, living in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains, a population crowded far beyond anything previous- and there occurs a couple of bee stings!  Complaints were followed by lawyers, and after considerable deliberation it was determined that the beekeeper was not required to cease operation.  So, anonymous neighbors took matters into their own hands.  They doused yards and bushes with powerful chemicals.  It worked.  Yards are now beautiful and kids play outside unhindered.  And most of the bees are dead.

Well, this makes me sad and angry.  It seems to me, with just a little bit of accommodation, we could surely share our world with bees?  They were here long before us, and deserve respect.  And honey sure tastes good.  My wife, a health food aficionado, tells me it is also good for you.  So why do we need to kill bees en masse?  I get it- they can be pests, and they can sting.  When I was a kid we would spend the day walking around in the yard and trapping them with upside-down mason jars.  And we did it barefooted.  And yes, it was a bit of a red-neck, country thing to do.  But it seems to me more decent than spraying toxic chemicals to keep the lawns pretty and safe, and killing all the bees.  I can picture the scene… Some kid lives in a half-million-dollar mansion squeezed into a cul-de-sac just south of the Blue Ridge Mountains.  Mom puts an end to another 3 hour session on the internet by forcing him to go outside for a few minutes.  He gets stung by a bee.  Mom calls the Homeowners Association, husband, and lawyer- all with speed dial.  Dad goes to Home Depot to buy 10 gallons of guaranteed bee killer.  And they live happily ever after.  It sure seems to me there is something wrong with this picture.