Have you ever seen Jesus?  I believe Julie did; here's her true story...

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Julie lies in the hospital bed, a pale shadow of her former health.  Her mother is at her side, able to offer but a little comfort as she gasps for breath.  The cancer has been unrelenting, stubbornly refusing to respond to aggressive chemotherapy and radiation.  One lung is gone and the other deteriorating.  The young lady has been telling others that God has promised healing before Christmas.  Fall is now in the air, and healing seems so far away.  The doctors have ceased treatments and are now just trying to keep her comfortable.  She has lost significant weight, cannot breathe without help, and is experiencing bone-deep pain.

In the midst of one of her frequent gasping sequences, she suddenly stops.  The cessation and calm is quite unusual, and her mom wonders what is happening.  Julie looks toward the foot of the bed, and then to her mother, and asks, “Do you see him?”  Mom looks around the room, sees nothing, and says nothing.  “Do you see him, mom, right there at the foot of my bed?”  Her mother realizes that, perhaps, something significant is taking place.  She smiles, Julie seems no longer disturbed or fearful, and turns over for some much-needed sleep.  She sleeps long and restfully for many hours.  When she awakens late in the evening, her mom is still at her side.  Julie opens her eyes, looks first at that mysterious space below her bed, and then to her mother.  “He’s still here.” 

“Describe him to me”, she asks.

“He’s right there.  He’s been with me the whole time.  I cannot see his features; his appearance is somewhat misty.  But he has something like points coming from his head.”

“Points?” mom queries to herself, but remains quiet.

“And, he said something to me.  He asked me a question.  “Julie, do you trust me?”

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I would like to say there is a fairy-tale ending to this story.  This mysterious visitor remains with Julie for quite some time.  His presence is very comforting and demeanor kind.  He is seen only by Julie.  And, the only words he speaks are not a promise of healing.  Just a pointed query, “Julie, do you trust me?” 

She died before Christmas.  I traveled across the states to attend her funeral, and to be honest, there was little comfort in the ceremony itself.  I kept thinking, with a grim face, how very unfair is this God.  But I did not know this episode of the story until several years later.

“Julie, do you trust me?”  God is not fair.  Really, scriptures and life have never even pretended to make such assertion.  Julie was a simple little girl, not a theological whiz.  Her faith in God was simple and unending.  She hurt, cried, and questioned.  And to the very end, with her childlike and yet quite mature way, she trusted.

God is not fair.  But, God is good.

Sometimes, still I sit and cry.  Julie died of Ewing’s Sarcoma some five years ago.  She was twenty years of age, my wife’s niece.  I really did not know her all that well, although periodically I’d see her at family gatherings, and keep up with her through correspondence.  She lived most of her life as an MK (Missionary Kid) in the Dominican Republic.  She was a tall and lanky girl, with long flowing blond hair, and a ready smile.  She was a “mama’s girl”, her mother’s best friend.  I knew her well enough to know she was a person of quality, from an outstanding family and destined to make a positive impact upon life.  Many words describe Julie: attractive, easygoing, compliant, focused, sweet, and religious- quite religious.  She loved God, studied her Bible, and resolutely planned for a life of missionary service.

And it all seems so very unfair.  As I said, sometimes I cry, for Julie missed out on so much of life.  She enjoyed children.  She was a “big-sister” to a little girl in her College town, and was constantly heaping love on that child.  Julie told her mom she dreamed of one day having five children!  But, she never had a serious love relationship with a guy, although I know she would have made a great mate.  She never entered her career as a teacher, though she would have been outstanding.  Oh, what might have been!  And I am puzzled.  Can I dare to say, I am even angry at God!  Not that I have abandoned His love, or ceased to serve Him.  But often when I think of Julie, my hands begin to shake and my eyes blur, and I look up to God with clenched teeth.

This event, the death of Julie, has forever changed my faith.  It is almost as if my Life-Task started anew with her passing.  Nothing is simple anymore.  God. Faith.  Answers.  I prayed and trusted God so very much for her healing, yet it never came.  I found answers and promises from scripture, but they had a hollow nature when she died.  I hated that the skeptics, who glumly forecast her demise, actually won.  And, there was nothing serene and peaceful about her passing.  It was unrelenting, ugly, and painful.  And, as I have repeatedly stated, it was all so unfair.

But, I have also found a peace.  It did not come instantly, and it is not always smooth, but it is there deep within.  Can a person have peace with God and yet continue to disagree with His ways?  Can my love grow for a Person who becomes more, not less, distant with the passing of time?

I will begin soon with a series of writings I will entitle “Life Lessons From Julie”.  I seek to give tribute to this fine young lady, who certainly did not ask to be hit so hard by life, and perhaps even by God.  And, I hope to compliment what I see to be both a terrible and wonderful thing- this mystery of Christian Faith.  I’d love for you to travel along with me in the coming weeks.  I’m not necessarily a deep man; just a wounded believer with a story to tell.  And I’d welcome your comments.

Here’s the list of upcoming essays:

God Is Not Fair

Life Isn’t About My Affirmation, Anyhow

Prayer Works, But…

Belief In An Afterlife Is Very Important

Sometimes, You Just Survive

God Is Mystery

Be Careful About Offering Advice & Answers

God Is There, & That’s Enough

Would Jesus Wear A WWJD Bracelet?

Every morning when I take my dogs for a walk, I have a selection of hats from which to choose.  One has emblazoned on the front “Jesus Is My Boss”.  A friend mistakenly thought I was admiring it, and next thing I know he put down $20 and bought it for me.  But, come time for the morning walk, I choose an Atlanta Braves hat, or even one advertising Penta Water.  Excuse me, but I just feel uncomfortable wearing Jesus clothing.

I remember a strange friend at Seminary who had two stickers on the back of his car.  On the left of the bumper was “Honk If You Love Jesus” and on the right was “Honk If You’re Horny”.  At the time I didn’t laugh.  And, I didn’t honk, either.  I do remember one time honking in response to such a sticker on a car, and the driver proceeded to turn around and give me an obscene gesture.  I guess the guy was driving some else’s car.  I wonder, “Would Jesus honk?”  At one church I ministered, the Youth Minister was extremely overweight, and he liked to wear a Christian tee shirt that proclaimed “God’s Gym”.  It did not deter him from devouring Twinkies at an alarming rate.  Since I am somewhat less than Mr. Universe myself, I thought of coming into the office one day wearing a tight tee shirt that said “This Is Not God’s Gym”.  But, at that time, I was not near the smart aleck I can be now.

I’m not ashamed of Christ.  I try to regularly tell others of Him, and even more I try to behave toward others in a way that would reflect well upon the Jesus I seek to serve.  Our church has a sign out front with a cross displayed prominently, I carry business cards with scriptures inscribed, and I have no problem with these advertisements of faith.  But, Christian clothing is just not my forte.  We should be living examples for Christ, with love and lifestyle and words properly proclaiming our faith.

Well, it is time to take my dog for his evening walk.  Let’s see….where’s that “Got Jesus?” dog collar my friend gave to Oreo?

Jesus of Nazareth is an actual, historical figure.  There is solid, historical, extra-Biblical evidence that Jesus truly lived and walked this earth.  The evidence is so sound that most scholars, even those who deny the Christian understanding of Jesus, will agree that Jesus is a legitimate person of history.

I will briefly share with you four historical references, arguably from the First Century AD, which witness to the presence of Jesus.  While these writers/writings are respected by modern scholarship, they certainly do not come from a sympathetic perspective.  They are not defending or trying to maintain a myth.

(1) Josephus (AD 37-100), a Jewish general and historian who took part in the revolt against the Romans.  He wrote History of the Jewish War and Antiquities of the Jews, and both continue even today to be major sources of information.  In his Antiquities, he writes:

“About this time there lived Jesus, a wise man if indeed one ought to call him a man. For he was one who wrought surprising feats and was a teacher of such people as accept the truth gladly. He won over many Jews and many of the Greeks. He was the Messiah. When Pilate, upon hearing him accused by men of the highest standing among us, had condemned him to be crucified, those who had in the first place come to love him did not cease. On the third day he appeared to them restored to life…”

(2) Tacitus (AD 55-120), a Roman historian who wrote two long histories, covering imperial events from AD 14-96.  His annals are generally regarded as both authentic and historically accurate.

His mention of Christ is in context with the persecution of the Christians under Nero:

“Nero fastened the guilt and inflicted the most exquisite tortures on a class hated for their abominations, called Christians by the populace. Christus, from whom the name had its origin, suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus, and a most mischievous superstition, thus checked for the moment, again broke out not only in Judaea, the first source of the evil, but even in Rome, where all things hideous and shameful from every part of the world find their centre and become popular.”

(3) Pliny the Younger (AD 63-113), was a priest in the cult of the emperor of Rome and later an official in the government.  He wrote a letter to the emperor, asking for advice:

“[According to them] their guilt or error was simply this -- on a fixed day they used to meet before dawn and recite a hymn among themselves to Christ, as though he were a god. So far from binding themselves by oath to commit any crime, they swore to keep from theft, robbery, adultery, breach of faith, and not to deny any trust money deposited with them when called upon to deliver it. This ceremony over, they used to depart and meet again to take food -- but it was of no special character, and entirely harmless. They also had ceased from this practice after the edict I issued -- by which, in accord with your orders, I forbade all secret societies. I then thought it the more needful to get at the facts behind their statements. Therefore I placed two women, called "deaconesses," under torture, but I found only a debased superstition carried to great lengths, so I postponed my examination, and immediately consulted you.”

(4) Suetonius (AD 69-140) was a Roman historian whose major work, Lives of Caesars, is an account of the lives of the first 12 Roman emperors.  Writing in 120, he made one statement that appears to be referring to Christ:

"As the Jews were making constant disturbances at the instigation of Chrestus, he [ Claudius ] expelled them from Rome."

Most likely he is referring to the expulsion of Jews, dated AD 48-50.  Thus, Christians would be in Rome shortly after the ministry of Christ in Palestine.

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From where have I found this information?  Such is readily available from common sources such as Encyclopedia Britannica, Answers.com (you will find a link on my webpage, and it quotes several objective sources), books on Christian Apologetics, and I have been able to access the original documents in translation through the marvels of the Internet and a Google search.

I return to my original challenge.  If Jesus Christ is who he claimed to be, then we owe him our allegiance.  Why do some people work so hard to discredit his legitimacy?  Some, I believe, are on a true search for a true faith.  These are seeking proof, and maybe they are open to considering the weight of the evidence in Christ’s favor.  Many, I believe, are afraid of Jesus.  They fear his claim of authority over their lives.  It boils down to the basic Christian concept of Lordship.  These folk want to lord over their own lives.  But, if Jesus Christ is indeed God in the Flesh and the One And Only Savior, then they do so to their own detriment. 

I ask:  What is wrong with yielding your life to Jesus’ authority, if he is who he claimed to be?

The Myth Of Jesus

I can quote many scriptures about the validity and divinity of Jesus.  But, a skeptic will counter such by refusing to acknowledge the reliability of the scriptures.  I believe the Christian Bible can be fairly defended as reliable and truthful historical documents, and I would enjoy moving into that debate with a future post.

Thomas Aquinas makes what I believe to be a strong proposition.  If the Incarnation is a myth, that God never became a man in the person of Jesus, then history has produced an even more astounding miracle.  The world has been forever transformed by the biggest of lies.  This Great Lie has produced the moral transformation of millions of lives into unselfishness, separation from the worship of worldly pleasures, and the movement toward radical new heights of holiness.  And, all of this produced by a mere myth?

And, the question must be asked, who invented this myth?  For the first 300 years of the Christian faith, followers were subject of almost universal persecution.  The public discovery and acknowledgments of their beliefs was met with hatred, persecution, torture and martyrdom.  A myth may be intriguing for exploration, and a hoax may be fun for the moment, but one would not pursue such to the point of crucifixion, stoning, and beheading.  Throughout history, many have refused martyrdom by rejecting Christ and worshiping the state deity.  But, no one ever said that Christ was a myth that they had made up.

Liar?  Lunatic? Myth?  The challenge is this:  If Jesus Christ is who He claimed to be, and who millions of followers have staked their eternities upon believing Him to be, then you and I are going to have to do something about about Him.

Magick vs. Prayer: The Wicca Way & The Christian Way

Magick is the way a Wiccan seeks to supernaturally bring about change in the world around, and even beyond, self.  It is not the same as prayer.

Let me say, first of all, that I admire someone who commits self to being an agent of positive change.  A Tibetan monk may utilize a prayer wheel, a Catholic the rosary beads, or the pagan a spell- if one is trying to make the world a better place and help others, than I think it is a noble effort.  Actually I respect these over millions of Christians who seldom or never utter a prayer that moves beyond self and selfish motives.

Magick is described in Never Again The Burning Times by Loretta Orion.  The belief is in a great life-force that flows in and through the universe.  The individual is capable of harnessing and releasing this energy through personal/group focus and ritual.  For the individual, a passionate focus is necessary.  A group is able to gather, draw the energy from many sources (sky, earth, one another, rocks, animals, all kinds of deities, etc), and at the height of their effort focus a “cone” of energy toward the desired objective.  Thus a group of Wiccans may gather to halt the construction of a nuclear power plant, or bring about the healing of the child of a colleague.  They may dance, engage in “channeling”, and practice other emotion-enhancing rituals for the furtherance of such purpose.

I do not see this as being akin to Christian prayer.  As followers of Jesus Christ, we understand that He wants us to bring our cares and needs to Him.  We seek to be wise and biblical in our requests.  We seek to harmonize our will with His will.  Then we ask.  We ask with singularity and with faith.  But, our faith is not in the effort of asking, but entirely in the God of whom we ask.  And, the power to effect the request never comes from us.  No amount of concentration or ritualistic behavior will make the prayer more powerful.  All we can do is ask in faith- then it is all up to God. 

I would be interested in comments from someone associated with a Pentecostal or Charismatic brand of Christianity.  Such theology I believe is more emotion and self-energy driven, and thus I think more akin to Wiccan magick.  I am also interested in the views of those who have a hybrid amalgamation of Wicca & Christianity.  How do you understand prayer?

As I continue to read through this interesting book, my next considerations will be channeling (which I think is spiritually dangerous) and shape-shifting, which sounds fascinating and makes me think about werewolves & vampires! I suspect it's a bit more complicated that Lon Chaney's interpretation.

HENRY CALLING

“Henry” called again today.  I suspect that is not his real name, for much about him is a mystery.  He has been calling two or three times per month, for a couple of years.  There is much that I do not know about him.  His location is lost within this vast metro area.  He is a professional, but I do not know his trade.

The conversations are short- only about 5 or 10 minutes.  I sense he needs this buffer of anonymity. He tells me I am his “friend”.  And he speaks of some very personal and shocking matters.

Often it sounds as if he is traveling in his car, for the reception varies during the talk.  He is a man of religious connection who continues to attend church periodically. 

Henry is gay, and why he has chosen me as his confidant and friend I do not know.  I tell him I have no known gay friends.  This man is unhappy.  His life includes ongoing liaisons and one-night stands with other men.  He tells me that men tend to “spot him out” and hit on him on a regular basis.  He speaks of unprotected sex, and fears it is just a matter of time until he gets AIDS.  After these emotionless encounters, he tells me he feels used and guilty”. 

Henry never fails to ask if I have dealt with many persons like himself, and I tell him just a few.  And, several times he has asked if I have had much experience with men struggling with addiction to pornography and masturbation.  I feel uncomfortable, for these are uncomfortable subjects..

I have thought that maybe this guy is just using me as an experience in eroticism.  Perhaps he calls the preacher in order to “talk dirty” for twisted personal gratification. I just do not know- it is a strange situation.  My attempt has been to communicate with him with integrity. Not to be shocked and not to condemn, but to speak openly about Christ and His love, and how God can provide a better life.

Sometimes Henry is an inconvenience.  His needs seem far from the needs of my average congregant.  Likely he will never come to my church, never sing in the choir, and never teach a Sunday School Class.  And, he tends to call at the most inopportune times  Often the conversations are very shallow, and quickly ended; seemingly a wasted ten minutes.  And, did I mention, the subjects are uncomfortable.

Today, Henry called again, and the conversation was quite illuminating.  He asked me again about the now familiar topics: pornography, homosexuality, and if I was now dealing with others with the same challenges. I decided to converse, and not just “talk”.

I asked how he became involved in this lifestyle.  He told me a sordid story about how a man in his neighborhood molested him as a ten-year-old boy.  Other kids were also abused by this monster. 

I asked if he had considered that sex was meant to be part of a relationship of love, and not intended solely for recreational pleasure.  He said he had not thought about that, but that he did feel shamed and hurt after encounters with strangers.

He told me of participating in a wedding recently, and how the Minister of Music actually “hit on him” while in the men’s restroom.  He told me how the two later hooked up. I told him this man was a sorry excuse for a minister of the gospel, and that I felt God would judge him more harshly for misrepresenting God’s love in such a way.

Henry talked about emptiness deep within, and desire to be different.  I listened, conversed with sympathy, shared a scripture, and promised to pray. And I told him to please call anytime, that I am his friend.  And I told him that God loves him; there is nothing he has or can do that will separate him for God’s loving embrace.  I sensed that Henry was crying at this moment.

I know Henry needs many things.  Peace. True love.  Forgiveness.  Freedom.  Maybe I can play a small part pointing him in that direction.

What do you think of Henry?  Is he taking me for a ride? Am I being too gentle with him?  How would you deal with this man?