I now lay claim to having the most annoying avatar on t-blog.

Look at him.  Just look at him.  He's annoying.  He's a little strange.  He's easy to not like.

And he is now my avatar.

If you know of one that is more annoying (i. e. cheesy, obnoxious, etc.), let us know with a link.

Right now, looks like I win.

Back around the first of December I received a traffic ticket for slow-rolling a stop sign.  Here's a link to that post:

http://pastordave.tblog.com/post/1969845603" title="http://pastordave.tblog.com/post/1969845603" target="_blank"http://pastordave.tblog.com/p...

My arraignment hearing was in mid-January.  There were several hundred of us who sat and awaited our respective turns with the DA.  He offered to me a plea bargain.  If I would plead guilty and pay the $96 fine, then no points would be taken from my driving record.  That's significant, because who wants to pay higher insurance premiums?  But I told him I was not guilty, and would he consider just dropping the charges?  He laughed.  Later I stood before the Judge and entered a “Not Guilty” plea.  I was offered a jury trial, but thought that would be a ridiculous waste of the taxpayers time and money.  A Judge would suffice.  My court date was set for today.

I have a friend who was a traffic cop in this area for twelve years.  He told me that, in all of his appearances in traffic court, he had never seen a charge reversed.  He told me I did not have a chance.  As a matter of fact, every person I talked with told me the same.  It would be my word against the word of the officer, and the Judge would side with him everytime.  Still, I plodded on. 

Early this morning I went to the scene of the “crime” to take pictures.  I verified to myself once again that the officer had an obstructed view of my car, and took pictures with which to prove such.  Then at 9:00 a.m. I arrived in court.  I intended to stand before the judge, with the officer across from me, and plead my case.  I would tell them that I have the highest respect for an officer of the law (only sometimes that is true) and feel that this officer was earnest in his belief that I broke the law (incompetent would be a better term).  In this particular case at this particular time, I believe there was human error (by a cowboy officer trying to write as many tickets as possible).  He had an obstructed view (unless his great x-ray vision could see through 2 posts) and an obstructed focus, for he was also trying to direct the traffic of all the other ticketed drivers (zealous jerk).  I felt that if I presented my case well, that justice would be very possible.

After sitting for about an hour, I was called back for a conference with the DA.  Once again he offered the same plea bargain, and also offered to drop the seatbelt charge if I would just plead guilty.  He pressured, and said this would be my last chance.  I said I felt he was trying to intimidate me, and since I was innocent I would just take my chances.  He seemed irritated, as did his two helpers. 

Then in about 15 minutes I was called before the Judge.  He asked where the accusing officer was at.  The DA, in exasperation, said that he had been subpoenaed to court but did not appear.  The Judge asked the DA if he was inclined to pursue the case, and he said no.  The Judge asked what I wished to do.  I've watched just enough of The People's Court to say  “I move for dismissal.”  The Judges said the magic words, “Case Dismissed.”  I stood there for a second staring at him, and said with a smile, “Wow.”  There was just a glint of humor in the Judge's eye.

I had been telling all of my detractors that I believed in our system of justice, that a man is innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.  I told my son this officer is a citizen just like me, and has no right to pronounce my guilt. 

It feels good to stay the course, and prevail.  It feels good to prove my detractors wrong!  And it feels mighty good to know the system works.

I believe if two clear-minded adults choose to relate to one another as lovers, they should have the right to do so.  Heterosexual or homosexual, that’s their privilege.  These people should be able to enter into their bedrooms and indulge in whatever sexual activities they both agree to, without interference from the government or the church.  I may not like what they do, but why should I force my moral/religious convictions upon them?  We can debate the proper and right behavior for human sexuality in the public and private forum, and I may just win some converts.  If I think the behavior of these people to be sinful, then I can make my case.  I can try to do so in a winsome and convincing way.  But if, at the end of the day they want to sleep together, that is their business.

But, I have a problem with the moral choices of Ennis and Jack in the movie.  While both are single young men, they come to love and want one another.  That’s their choice.  But they choose not to pursue an ongoing and honest relationship, for whatever reason.  Homophobia?  Fear?  Instead they have ongoing and secretive liaisons through the years.  In the process they destroy their marriages, wound their children, and scar many who love them.  And these two men end up empty and broken.

Where is the honesty?  If a man thinks he may be gay, I say he owes it to himself and others to thoroughly consider the matter and come to an honest self-assessment.  Then he should live accordingly.  Let’s say he is of the Christian tradition, and his faith is important to him.  He should take a Bible and research every possible statement about the subject.  He should go away for a time of retreat, to search his own soul and talk much to God about the issue.  He should come to a peace about the matter, pro or con. 

And if this man concludes that he is gay, then he ought to live it.  Not behind the scenes and in the cloak of darkness.  There is no courage in that.  Even if it complicates his life, once he has decided to be honest with himself, then he needs to be honest with others.  The men in this movie are very unfair to the women they choose to marry, and the children they choose to father.  If you cannot love a woman with all your heart then you should not marry her.  The traditional wedding ceremony includes the vow, “…forsaking all others…”&nbs p; There is a leaving and a cleaving to marriage.  What Ennis and Jack engage in is called Adultery.  It is an inexcusable sin against one’s mate.  Because of a lack of courage, they engage in adultery.  No wonder these men are miserable. 

I hope others of you will see this movie, and offer some insightful commentary.  This will be my last post on this subject for a while.  It is a dark and dividing topic.  Most likely I will not argue anyone into a change of sexuality, or even into the kingdom of God.

Comments, please!

Synopsis and Interpretation, Not Commentary 

There is much that can be said about this very controversial film.  At this point I would like to minimize my reactions and judgments, and try to interpret the message the movie is seeking to convey.  There will be plenty of opportunity in the comments or a subsequent post to give my responses.

I have to admit Brokeback Mountain is a quality movie.  The nature scenery easily draws the viewer into the vistas of wide open spaces, majestic mountains, open prairies and high clouds.  The acting is quite good, and convincing as one comes to feel the struggle and pain of the characters of Ennis and Jack, and their broken families.  And the story is seducing, a proper term to describe how one becomes enwrapped in the saga of the love and tragedy of these two cowboys.

I believe the intent of the movie is to present a sympathetic, and I am sure those involved would say realistic, picture of the love between two gay men.  Ennis and Jack fall in love while herding sheep in the isolated mountains of Montana.  These men are not effiminate; they are rough and tumble cowboys.  Their love-making is not tender; the first encounter is violent, and periodic liasons include wrestling and fistfighting.  After their winter of bonding together in the wilderness, the men go their seperate ways.  Jack would like a more open relationship, but Ennis is sure society would not be accepting.  Both men eventually settle, marry, and have children.  But their lives are unfulfilling.  So they get together, every few months, for times of love and companionship back on Brokeback Mountain.  

Ennis' wife finally decides she cannot compete with this mysterious relationship her husband has with his “friend”.  Resulting from the disconnect and emptiness of her husband, she divorces and remarries.  Ennis continues for the next twenty years to live a lonely life, with a few affairs that do not last and an incomplete relationship with his children.  Jack marries and settles in a Texas town as a successful tractor salesman.  But his, too, is an empty marriage.  It seems the only deep and lasting love these men can experience is between each other.

It is fear that keeps them from being happy with their love.  A fear inbred from being raised in a homophobic society, and the continued fear of being rejected by that same society.  These men have just enough heterosexuality to make them miserable.  Finally, Jack seeks to break free and be honest with his sexuality.  His intent is to leave his wife and children, and live with another man.  He is brutally murdered before he can accomplish his plans.

The movie ends with Ennis all alone.  For remembrance he has Jack's shirt hanging in his closet.  Lovingly and sadly he caresses this memento, heart broken and tears flowing down his cheek.  It is sad how good it could have been, if society had only allowed these two men to celebrate and enjoy their love together.

The credits roll as Willie Nelson sings, “He Was A Friend Of Mine”.

So there you have it.
This has been a synopsis and impressions, not commentary..
I think there is much more to this movie.
I think it is a beautiful movie, and I think it is an ugly movie.
There is much to talk about. 
I will comment as we go along.
Let's talk.

I've been thinking that mine has been a pretty sheltered, insulated, and predictable life.  “Safe” would be a good description.  My daughter' pregnancy and the birth of Skylar have been a great intrusion to an otherwise comfortable life. 

Actually, the trespass of this little one upon my life and heart has been a liberating experience.  When I learned that K was pregnant, this baby was not wanted or welcomed.  I experienced grief, even deeper than the loss of a loved one.  For months I hurt, seldom prayed, had little energy or joy.  I gained more weight during this pregnancy than my daughter, mostly because of the lethargy of depression.  The great change emerged, I think, on the day after her birth.  I held Skylar for the first time.  She felt so good, so right, so much a part of me.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  The anger and guilt and hurt melted away.  All at once there was a great release and I knew this was good.  Just love.  There's nothing like it.

Should a guy be talking like this?

Watch out.  Your next great crisis, as tough and unwelcome as it surely will be, may be the best thing that could ever happen to you.

As I begin this post, I'll give you another picture of Skylar. What does this have to do with "Miracle At McDonald's"? Nothing. But I'm going to show her off every chance I get.

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MIRACLE AT MCDONALDS

Monday I traveled to visit my mom. Recently, at 86 years of age, she decided to elope. I do not know her new husband, Jim, very well. He also is 86 and I believe he celebrated his honeymoon with a week in the hospital. It’s frustrating. I tried to teach her better, and then she goes off and does such a crazy thing. I had not been able to reach them on the phone for over a week, and so I had to make the trip unannounced. Not too surprisingly they were not at home. With bingo and other forms of gambling, and flea markets, my mom seems to never be at home these days. She and Jim recently returned from a week at the beach at Panama City. I just think they are moving too fast; but then what do I know- I’m just her son?

I went to the local fast-food eatery to have lunch and to nurse my hurt feelings. Since mom was out who-knows-where, “galavanting around”, I sat by myself and observed the dining crowd. An old man waddled up to the counter, cane in one hand and open hamburger in the other, and wanted to know if he could exchange for a different sandwich. It looked like he had only taken one bite, so why not? The little counter girl kindly denied his request. Now he was angry, and demanded to speak with the manager. I sat back and smugly smiled, thinking “What an idiot!” Across from me was a table of laborers, paint all over their clothes and hands, gobbling down quarter-pounders and engaging in conversation. One had proudly sold some pigs at the market. The other needed to fix the insulation in his house trailer. Still a third sat quietly and just ate, although he periodically let out a distinct burp. I observed and thought, “I am so glad that I moved away from here. Except for the grace of God…”

Then I looked over to the side. There sat down a wiry man, obviously here for his lunch break. He had on tattered clothes and looked weathered. I watched as he removed the wrapper from his sandwich, took off his hat, and took a couple of minutes to say grace before his meager meal. I stopped eating and considered the last several minutes. I’ve been so irritated at my mom that I had not even considered that maybe she was happy. And her happiness ought to be important to me. And I was so busy passing an arrogant judgment on my fellow patrons that I skipped over the obvious fact they are much like me; just doing their best. And, I had been so full of myself that I had completely dismissed a word of thanksgiving for the meal.

I asked God’s forgiveness and gave thanks for the meal, and both after the facts. Then, mom and Jim walked in. What are the chances of that, in a town of 40,000 and hundreds of fast food restaurants? We shared our hamburgers together. And, I learned that ole Jim sure loves my mother, and so I sure love him.

Baby began to insist that she wanted out last night at about midnight. At 5:51 a.m., March 1, she got her wish. Skylar was born. Healthy, full of life and goodness and hope, she weighed in at 8 pounds and 1 ounce.

This afternoon I got to hold her for the first time. With her in my arms, my heart melted. All of the anger I have harbored toward K and all of the darkness I have felt about the coming of this child just walked away. There in my arms was Love. Seldom have I said so much without words as, at that moment, my eyes looked over and met K's. This was grace, pure and simple; my honor to have Skylar as part of my life.

I was too busy being wrapped up in myself to properly enjoy the birth of my kids. This one I will take time to rock, and kiss, and snuggle, and surely play the fool of a crazy grandparent.

Here's my favorite picture, so far (more rolls of film are on the way!). Mom meets the out-of-doors Skylar for the first time. I consider her face of joy to be priceless.

God, what a blessing.

03.01.06 (10:04 pm)   [edit]

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