She signed me up for an allergy trial. That did not sound too bad: journaling, taking a test medication that might very well be a placebo, and meeting other men forced into like servitude by their wives. However, I did not qualify. Instead they offered for me to participate in a study of acid reflux. “Oh, sometimes Dave has heartburn,” she blurted out with glee. I was quickly enlisted.

So, this morning I had an endoscopy. As I understood, it involved swallowing a tiny little capsule which would contain a tiny little camera, which would take tiny little pictures of my stomach. That sounded easy, so I marched into the exam room with a John-Wayne-swagger.

The nurse was scary. I expect a health care professional to be just that- professional. It engenders confidence. This lady looked like a linebacker for the Green Bay Packers. She wore huge Adidas, untied. She was sipping a straw from a Slurpee cup, and she aggravatingly mumbled without making eye contact. She asked if I wanted a mild anesthesia before the procedure, that it was optional? I asked if there was any pain involved, and she replied, “How would I know? I've never had the procedure done.” Just where do nurses like this come from? I was thinking, well, let's get this thing over- no anesthesia!

I laid down on the table. My throat was sprayed with the most awful tasting, bitter, gag-inducing liquid available. Then, the doctor told me to be careful not to gag. In a couple of minutes my throat felt like it had restricted to the size of a straw, a Slurpee straw. It was then that the doctor brought out a “tube” to be inserted into my throat. It looked like a fireman's hose, huge and menacing. I wanted the anesthesia, but it was too late. The doctor seemingly inserted about 50 feet, down my throat. I gagged, and gagged some more. He and the assistants did not care. I could hear a steady slurp from Amazon nurse, and a conversation about new carpet from the other helpers. And I was sure there was a reason why this physician was employed to ram a hose down a throat instead open heart surgery. I'm not sure what else transpired, other than lots of gagging. I'm thinking it involved crying, begging, cursing, and the need for an adult diaper change.

When the results came in, I was disqualified from the study! Apparently I've got some serious heartburn issues, and they are looking for more healthy participants. I'm glad this was discovered, because now I can start taking Prilosec and adjusting my diet.

And I announced to my wife that I am now retired from the Clinical Trial Business. I'll pay her $300 to let me be.

Rodney came along in about two hours. He was a big man who looked like he would be right at home running a bulldozer or swinging a sledge hammer. He went right to work replacing circuits and tracing lines. Soon the “box” was repaired, and he never said a word about the scuff marks from Karen's #5 shoe. Next thing, he was crawling around in my office seeking the root cause of a line malfunction. I looked up from my studies and said to him, “Sir, this afternoon you are spending more time on your knees than most of my church members.” He smiled and replied, “Well, it's good to be on your knees when you're in a church!” From there the conversation flowed easily. As he worked we talked. I learned all about his wife, family, church, hobbies, home, etc. We talked about his spiritual issues and aspirations. A young man walked in for counseling and prayer, and I introduced him to Rodney. Rodney worked quietly and said he appreciated me taking time for someone with a need.

When the service was completed, he discovered that a big part of the problem was a “stuck” modem on the secretary's computer. Technically, I guess such is not a phone system fault. Rodney packed up after four hard hours of work, we shook hands, and he headed on out. And I've yet to receive a bill.

I spoke with Mack, a member of the church recently retired from the phone company. He asked me what we were charged for the repair, and I said “Nothing”. He told me that the phone repairman has lots of leeway concerning the charge to the customer. And he told me about a local church that would mistreat and speak unkindly toward him during service calls. When I asked how much he would charge them, he said with a sly smile, “Every dollar I could!” I thought about Rodney. Please believe me when I say I was not trying to manipulate the guy. But I am glad that life has taught me to treat others with kindness and respect. Sometimes it pays!

Life with K has taken another turn in what is proving to be a long and difficult journey.

Last night she informed us that she & Skylar, our 4-month-old granddaughter, will be moving in with her boyfriend.

My reaction?  Angry, but even more, brokenhearted.

The whole family has poured its collective heart into loving Skylar.  My oldest, as we moved her into her dorm room, told me with misty eyes that she will miss the little one the most.  My wife and/or I tend to Skylar while K works her 2-9 p.m. shift, and while she attends college classes.  We also watch her two nights per week as K goes out with her friends.  I change diapers, rock her to sleep, and play with her on the floor.  She is such a joy for me.

The guy K is moving in with I have a hard time respecting.  Recently he spent 30 days in jail for DUI.  He quit school and thus has no High School diploma, works a low paying job, avoids my wife and I at all costs, has no interest in church or spiritual matters, and his brothers and sisters are of like calibre.

I realize some of you most likely have no problem with an 18-year-old moving in with her boyfriend.  But you should understand that it goes against the very foundation of what we believe to be good and right.  I believe it is sin.  And I cannot help but feel that, by her doing this, she intends a direct insult toward me.  My wife tells me that is not true, that she is just being a rebellious teenager. 

One morning, a couple of years ago, K called me with a strange voice.  She was crying, and did not know where she was at or how she had gotten there.  Obviously she was strung out on drugs.  I found out where she was at, went to the other side of the county to pick her up.  She and her friend moved in with us.  The friend was unwilling to stay, but K did for several months.  And, eventually K moved out again.

Several months later she let me know she was ready to come back home.  Her utilities had been turned off because of non-payment.  She looked rough from neglect.  I said yes, and she was fine for awhile.

Then she moved in with a friend’s dad, who was convinced I was the real problem.  K enjoyed the situation for several months.  She even spent Christmas with her “new” family.  Then, the next thing I knew, they kicked her out for not abiding by basic family rules.  The dad called me to apologize.  K called me to come back home.  I said yes, again.

Then, I received that fateful call from my wife, telling me K was pregnant.  I was numbed.  But, through the grace of God, I found a way to go see K, give her a hug, and tell her it was time to come home and have her baby.

Through her pregnancy we were able to help her in many ways.  She graduated.  The church gave her an amazing baby shower, and accepted her without judgment.  Skylar was born healthy and happy.  K got a good paying job.  She enrolled in College, and made all B’s in her first semester.

And, now this.

My “gut” desire is to find this guy and give him a hard punch to the stomach.  And I would truly like to do that.  But it’s not his fault.  He’s just your typical punk looking to get laid, and he has found a pretty girl (who happens to be my daughter) who is more than glad to oblige.

And, there is a part of me that says it is time to give up on this relationship with K.  She has not told, nor shown, that she loves me in many years.  I’m getting no return out of this relationship.  I know, when that happens in a marriage, there comes a time when divorce seems the best option.  And I’ve thought about divorcing my daughter.

Now here’s the kicker.  Last night, after we told K that she was making a mistake, what she was doing was wrong, and that I was deeply hurt- we then told her that she always has a home to come back to.  And, we volunteered to continue to watch Skylar for her while she went to work and to College.  That’s not very tough, is it?  I admit it- at times I can talk a tough game- but when it gets down to being hardnosed, it appears I’m pretty soft.

So, now my daughter whom folks have often said is so much like me, will be shacking up with some guy.  And it appears this is but the beginning of her dragging my precious little granddaughter along with her as she makes her mistakes of life.  She has punched me in the mouth, once again.

I'm a big Braves fan, and have been for many years. I've been to several games, but mostly I watch them on WTBS and listen to the games on radio. I was even a fan back in the bad years, before they won 13 division titles in a row. And it is indeed an amazing streak for any sports team; it makes me wonder if the Braves will ever finish in anything other than first place.

But, now I have the current season to face. Usually by this point the Braves have methodically begun to defeat all challengers. The defense would gel, Andruw and Chipper would hit in the clutch, the pitching would prove again to be the best in the league, and manager Bobby Cox would prove again to be the best in the game. This year it is not happening. My team is 52 – 61, a losing record! The pitching staff has one of the highest collective ERA's in baseball. And they consistently lose to good teams. There is no way they will overtake the Mets, who are division leaders. And they are 6 ½ games behind in the wild-card race, and fading fast.

Here I am doggedly hanging onto faith in this team. They have about 50 games to go. And if this team could suddenly start playing their very best ball, they could go on a tear and still get into the playoffs. What they need to do is win about ten games in a row, and then continue at a 70% win clip. It could happen! And I believe these Braves are going to do just that!

It is not, exactly, an empty faith. They have just added two quality relievers to the roster- badly needed. Andruw Jones has 99 RBI's, and is capable of carrying this team on his shoulders. And Chipper Jones, a great hitter and great leader, will soon return from the disabled list. And if this team can just play as they are capable, then they can do it! I believe.

I have said all of the previous to get to a question. And it is a good question. I'll give you my answers in my next post, but I'm interested in your thoughts right now.

What's the difference between faith in the Atlanta Braves and faith in Jesus Christ?
Are they the same...
Is faith in the Braves actually based more upon reality...
Are both just wishful thinking....
Does one's faith in Christ make a real difference, as opposed to faith in a sports team...

The First Book
by Rita Dove

Open it.

Go ahead, it won't bite.
Well...maybe a little.

More a nip, like.  A tingle.
It's pleasurable, really.

You see, it keeps on opening.
You may fall in.

Sure, it's hard to get started;
remember learning to use

knife and fork?  Dig in:
you'll never reach bottom.

It's not like it's the end of the world-
just the world as you think

you know it.

Such is the delight and the danger of growing in knowledge, in understanding.  I like my little world.  I like to understand things...be on top of things...be in charge.  But this world has to end, so a new and better world can become available.  It's not easy.  It's not always fun.  But it's worth it.  Growing and maturing- you and I are made for these reasons.

I appreciate my fellow t-bloggers, for they are a good part of this process in my life.  Thanks.