In my regular search for leads on my lost dog, I came across the account of Cherry on the local CraigsList.  The little dog has been missing for eleven months, stolen from the front yard.  The owner still thinks about her every day and longs for her return.  Of particular sadness is the following statement:

"Last night she came to me in a dream. I knew it was a dream, so I cherished every second with her that I could. I cuddled her, felt her soft baby fur. Everyone that loves her was there and we all took turns holding her and playing. She's such a sweet baby. I'm not at all surprised someone would want to keep her."

I do not know exactly what kind of person took this lady's dog, nor the person who now has mine.  They stole her dog right out of the yard!  Were they not thinking this to be someone's beloved family member?  I could better comprehend stealing a laptop or phone- nonpersonal items readily bartered for whatever the perp may need.  But a family pet is so much more than its monetary value.  Perhaps this person wanted a pet for himself or for someone he knows?  It is very possible that someone is now a happy pet owner of this pretty little dog, not much considering he/she is assisting in the breaking of this woman's heart.

I wrote her a short, hopefully encouraging note.  She said she had noticed my ads on CraigsList looking for Bailey.  We have engaged in so many exchanges with wonderful people who readily identify with our sorrow and search.

If you come across a lost pet, please do the right thing and make a diligent search for the owner.  If they care, they will be put up signs and place ads in the paper and upon the internet.  As much as you may find the animal to be attractive, remember it is not yours.  The lady I mention above talks about "karma".  In her grieving she wishes bad upon such a person as would steal her baby dog.  I won't call it karma, but justice.  When you do something good, like return an item you have found, you will gain strength of character and I believe you will be a better person.

(My Bailey...)


Here's to Cherry and Bailey.  Good dogs.  Bailey is the one without the pink ears.

(here's advanced copy of my article for the most recent Church Newsletter)
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On May 23, should his grades cooperate, my youngest of three children will graduate from Duluth High School.  Two weeks later he will leave for what sounds like a wonderful vacation spot- Paris Island, South Carolina- for Marine Boot Camp.  It should be quite an experience, and maybe he will even learn to make his bed?  So for my wife and me, for the first time in 23 years we will be home without children.  We are thinking of having another…just kidding.  Our two-year-old granddaughter will be over, most days, to brighten our lives.  We have cats and dogs, church friends, communication via phone and internet.  I’ve a feeling the kids still need us in lots of ways, and so we will be far from lonely.  Who knows, we will probably even spend more time getting to know one another?

My oldest will graduate in May from West Georgia University with a degree in Psychology.  Interestingly, both of my daughters are studying to be therapists.  In jest, they sometimes say it is to figure out the mess I’ve made of them, and sometimes it is to figure me out.  I suspect it is more the latter.

Being family is a wonderful, blessed, confusing mess.  So often things do not go according to script.  You love one another, sometimes you fight just to survive, and usually it all turns out good.  We have been so blessed for the last 23 years to have had God and church to help us to succeed in this experiment called The Lyle Family.  Church people have modeled for us healthy relationships, prayed diligently for our needs, shared unconditional love, and taught our kids about Jesus.  God has patiently and persistently guided us through this rocky and unpredictable road of parenting.

Two graduations in one month!  Should there be tears, they will be of joy.  Thank you, God, for family.

I just returned from purchasing a flat of petunias and am now awaiting Skylar's arrival so we can make it a project to plant them in the flower bed. What do I know about petunias? Nothing, the same as what I know about most flowers, plants, and vegetables. Still every year I manage to plant a variety of things. And, some actually grow. I studied these carefully- I always meticulously consider what I am going to plant. They are spreading plants that cover an area of two to three feet, and bloom all season. The guy at the garden shop gave me a couple of suggestions: use a quick-start planting solution to encourage beginning growth, and pinch off the old blooms to make room for the new. With my two brown thumbs I will give it a good try. The flower bed at the front of the house is in full sun and is under an eave, so that it gets very little rain, and thus I face an ethical dilemma. We are under a watering ban because of the drought. Neighbors are actually encouraged to submit the names of those they see breaking the law. Hefty fines are supposedly enforced. However, so many of these people have underground watering systems. And many are not going to allow their expensive homes and businesses to look shabby, thus many lawns are amazingly green in spite of the law. I've a feeling these include the homes of politicians, policemen, lawyers, and other enforcers. So, what should I do about my petunias? It would be hard for me to sleep at night, hearing the desperate although inaudible cries of the little guys who find themselves in my front yard, through no fault of their own. I'll not go into details, but simply proclaim myself to be pro-life when it comes to petunias.

Also, I have 22 vegetables in pots, nourished and growing, awaiting the soil to be sufficiently warm to be planted. Most are tomatoes, a favorite vegetable and one that I can actually grow with some success. While at Pine Mountain a couple of weeks ago I purchased some heirloom tomato plants. As best I can tell, "heirloom" means the plant has a funny name and will cost three times as much. These are Sungold and Cherokee Purple. Being heirloom, I can save the seeds and replant them every Spring- not that I'll actually do it, but it is theoretically possible. Also planted are some Early Girls, which produce fruit in about two months.

My friend George works very hard for the bragging rights of producing the first tomatoes of the year. He plants early and covers them from frost, and pours Miracle Grow onto the plants every day. I tell him that's a colossal waste. But, while my plants are still weaklings, his are thick and vigorous and starting to flower. And sure enough, around mid-May, he calls to tell me about the great tomato sandwich he's having for lunch- from his garden, and it sure is delicious, and he has a lot more coming, and how are my tiny little tomatoes coming along? That George really irritates me.

The church secretary asked me Thursday if I watched American Idol the previous evening. I enjoy the show when I watch it, especially the angst among the judges and the silliness of some of the (intentionally) ridiculous performances. However I missed this particular show, and so asked what was special about it? She said the finalists sang a familiar Christian praise chorus, entitled “Shout To The Lord”. I thought that was pretty cool, and then did not think too much more about it. Now, a couple of days later, I am aware that a lot of good Christian people are upset about the performance, and are letting their opinions be known.

What’s the problem? The first verse of the original song begins, “My Jesus, my Savior, Lord there is none like you….”, and the song continues as a statement of universal praise. For this particular performance on American Idol, a change has been made. One word is altered: “My Shepherd, my Savior….” In response, a lot of Christian have expressed great offense, including preachers, bloggers, and pundits.

Here is a representative response from the extremely righteous and holy branch of the Christian community (For those of you lacking humor, perhaps fellow Baptists, please sense my the intended irony of the previous sentence):

“On the one hand it doesn’t surprise me that the producers would remove Jesus from the song. On the other hand, it shocks and saddens me they would stoop so low. On the program where Maria Shriver quoted Gandhi by name, American Idol was unwilling to let “Jesus” be said on national television. I suppose they were afraid to offend non-Christians or that they simply don’t agree with Christianity. Welcome to the culture of tolerance, where every religion is accepted except Christianity; welcome to the pluralistic relativistic society that welcomes all faiths except Scriptural Christianity.”

- Blogger John Rothra, John Rothra Ministries

I’ll share some personal thoughts:

(1) American Idol is not a church. If I want to worship, I can think of a lot more appropriate places to go than FOX. You did not hear Ryan Seachrist say anything like, “Let us all stand, raise our hands in worship, as our finalists lead us in praise …”

(2) We live in a post-Christian world, and we need to adjust. By this I do not mean those of us who are Christians must compromise our standards. But we are long past a time when network television will overtly present programming designed to support our faith. We must be discerning. Our influence upon what is presented on television is most affected not by our pontificating, but how we use the channel selector. If you have been irrevocably offended by the changing of this song, then by all means watch something else. There is plenty of Christian television to watch. 99% of it is moldy, second-rate, and the American Idol crowd will not watch it for even one second. If you must, you can insist upon condemning this performance because of one imperfection. But, have you considered, perhaps God’s Spirit has miraculously arranged for a positive prime-time presentation of praise for Jesus Christ before an accepting audience of 40 million viewers?

(3) In my opinion, Shepherd is a synonym for Jesus. The scriptures are replete with this connection. He is the “Good Shepherd who lays down his life for his sheep”. “His sheep hear his voice.” And anyone who listens to the song cannot be confused about who the song is about. It is a praise hymn. It is about Jesus, through and through.

(4) Perhaps we Christians should be thrilled that an item from our church culture has been highlighted onstage such a powerful vehicle of secular media? This is American Idol. Excuse the pun, but millions of people worldwide watch religiously. This is not your church crowd; it is safe to surmise that most have little connection with Jesus Christ or church. Therefore, the performance of the song is a wonderful and positive introduction to an attractive element of the faith. It is safe to assume a spike in downloads of the unedited version from places like Itunes. Many, who have not felt a prompting toward the spiritual for a long time, have been touched of heart as they have considered the praise message of the song. Conversations about Christ and church have been spurred. Probably, some even attended church over the weekend because the performance awakened them to the need.

(5) I am going to say something to my branch of the Christian faith. Sometimes we exhibit pride with our no-compromise, take-no-prisoners, militant approach toward those who differ. I do not know why American Idol would dare to perform this song. There are thousands of secular works safer, and perhaps more crowd pleasing. They changed one word, and you are upset? Right now I reach into my bookshelf to pull out a Baptist Hymnal. It is replete with familiar hymns that have been subject to word changes through the years. Of course, some of you guys would be using the “original version” of the hymnal, ragged but pure and uncompromising, like yourselves? I’m going to open this book to Hymn # 307, and we are going to begin singing together “Just As I Am”. The altar call is open, and all are invited to join me on your knees in repentance of being smug, self-righteous, judgmental, and unloving.

Here is what I think:

*American Idol performed a song giving praise to Jesus Christ, before an approving national television audience at Prime Time? PTL
*A few Christians are angry about it? Repent, ye sinners!

I was not wanting to debate her. Instead it was my desire to have a private visit with a fellow church member. But she kept eavesdropping into our conversation and interjecting her particular form of twisted commentary. I tried to be polite, simply nodding and smiling, and maybe offering a few innocuous replies. But she was insistent upon confrontation. And she should have known better. Humbly, I like to refer to myself as The Master Debater, and she would be the next to fall under the weight of my exacting intellect and sharp wit.

Basically she was just talking out into the air, to anyone who would listen...
Lady: I'll be so glad to get back with my group of True Believers.
PDave: Ummm.

Lady: We're Jehovah's Witnesses, you know.
A smug sense of superiority oozed from the comment.
PDave: That's nice.

Lady: And we're the only religious group that welcomes people of all colors.
This she stated with great authority. Now she had my attention.
PDave: What?

Lady: That's right. Everybody else just sticks to their own kind. We accept people of all races.
A bit of drool was glistening from the corner of her mouth.
PDave: Well I guess you haven't been to my church. We have blacks, whites, Asians, Hispanics, and good bit of folk in between.

Lady: Naah. You might have a few. But we are the only Ones who are truly integrated.
No logic to this statement. And where would she find statistics to support this ludicrous assertion?
PDave: What you are saying is just not true.
Lady: Yes it is.
PDave: No it isn't.
Lady: Ahhhh...... Her eyes bulged, and her tongue came out, for emphasis
PDave: Ahhhh..... Ditto

PDave: Look. You are fixated with a society from 50 years ago. I know all kinds of Christian congregations that are fully integrated. Baptist. United Methodist. Assembly of God. You're absolutely wrong on that.
I feel very comfortable with the superiority of my logic. She can't argue with fact. I've won the debate, and she knows it!
Lady: No, you're wrong.
PDave: You're wrong.
Lady: Ahhhh....
PDave: Ahhhh....

Lady: And I noticed when you came into the room you didn't pray with me. It's because I'm black.
How absolutely ludicrous. And how sad that she would need to resort to such ad hominen attack. I'll easily deflect this one!
PDave: What?
Lady: Ahhhh....
PDave: Mam, I did not want to impose my faith upon you. Besides, if you are a good Jehovah's Witness, you wouldn't want a Baptist preacher praying for you.

Lady: That's right, because your church is part of the Great Whore of Revelation. As she said the words, her mouth was so agape I feared she would swallow me...
PDave: Stunned. What?

The debate would have continued, but her foot was now tapping to the Bennie Goodman music playing over the intercom. She no longer knew that I was in the room. And besides, the Aide signaled it was time for a diaper change. I glanced toward the 93-year-old lady I had come to visit, and she was now asleep in her wheelchair.

Yep, I guess I won that debate. Pretty impressive, wouldn't you say?

I know a man who is an abuser.  He is a stupid man.

He is really very good at what he does.  He runs a successful business and lives in a fine house.  Most who meet him think he is a personable and nice man, the kind of guy you would like to have as a friend.  It is all just a facade.  At home he is cold and calculating, and practices his trade with precision.  As far as I know, he has never been physical with his abuse.  But it hurts every bit as much.  His daughter is a pre-adolescent, and it does not take long to see that she has some deep-seated problems.  Her father wields constant criticism her way- she's ugly, she's stupid, she can't do anything right.  She told a confidant that she'd like to hang herself- words that must be taken as nothing but serious.  

His wife is a gentle and smart lady, pretty, and it is not hard to see the pain in her eyes.  She stays with him, I think, because of fear.  Fear of her husband, for sure.  But also fear that she cannot make it on her own.  I know better and I encourage her to do better.  But in the end the matter is her decision.  Why doesn't she just give this guy a good, swift kick, and simply walk away?  I think, when you have been beaten down for so long, with most every ounce of dignity methodically sqeezed away, then there is not much energy left.  And when I look in her eyes, I fear for her.  The fight seems to be going away, flickering, slowly being replaced with empty nothingness.

He screens her phone calls.  He belittles and bullies her friends, to the point they mostly stay away.  He hints at undefined violence should she ever leave him.  

In my opinion he is a very, very small man- not really a man, but a punk.  I could whip him.  If I were her dad, or brother, then I would.  But he hasn't threatened me.  He simply tries to intimidate me on the phone, a pitiful and laughable display.  He ridicules my church.  He thinks my message of love and godliness is a message of weakness, worthy of contempt.  This sad man has no hint that what I offer is probably the only hope for his marriage.  I could teach him some things about the nature of evil, and love, and what being a real man is all about.  Sadly, he is too stupid to listen.  

A lawyer is needed, and it doesn't even need to be a very good lawyer.  It would not take Perry Mason to discern what is going on in this relationship.  This guy needs to fall, and fall hard.  It might be his only chance at salvation.  Most of all, she needs just a bit more strength.  I think she can do it.  I pray she can.

We are relaxing for a couple of days in Pine Mountain, GA. The place is best known for Callaway Gardens, a beautiful attraction that we will take in tomorrow. I would have liked to stay at Callaway, but absolutely could not allow myself to spend over $200 per night, and do not think I could even if the money were plentiful. The area has several fine motels. In another life I would have chosen Day's Inn, since they've always proven to be clean and affordable. However a few years ago, in my opinion they managed to cheat my wife out of the price of a night of lodging. I called repeatedly and spoke with all manner of representatives, and was unable to convince anyone to refund my money. I promised them at that time that I would never stay at Day's Inn again and would seek to defer from them many thousands of dollars in business. They did not care. So this week I gladly subtract another $160 of would-be-business. And if my boycott continues with the same level of effect, I should have them on their knees sometime in the next millenia.

Our place of choice is the Fireside Inn. It's a nice, quaint, older lodge. There are 14 rooms, and the manager lives on premises. I found his website to be humorous. He is a nice guy with a quick smile, who purports to be owner, manager, desk clerk, custodian, maid, and the guy who will bring extra towels when asked. I have an affinity for the little guy who is trying to make a go with a small business. This place certainly fits the bill. So, should you come to Pine Mountain, my advice for good lodging is to drive right on past Day's Inn and pull into Fireside Inn. Ask Tom for the PastorDave Discount.

We spent the afternoon at the Wild Animal Safari. Basically you drive through what appears to be a third-world-environment. Along the way as you dodge piles and piles of animal stuff, various creatures come along to stand in front of your vehicle. And since you likely do not want to kill an emu, yak, antelope, or any other wild animal, you stop to allow him to poke his head into your car window for a treat. They stink, they slobber, and they are a lot of fun- I guess it is somewhat like a t-Blog reunion.

Speaking of a t-Blog/Animal Safari connection, what follows are some of the critters who came our way. So, as you peruse the photos, do you see any similarities to some of the personalities who frequent our blogging arena?  Name the lazy alligator...preening peacock, etc!

In the midst of a busy day, with lots of walking, I noticed that my foot was hurting. It became worse. Finally taking off my shoe, and sock, I found the reason. I smiled. There was a dime in my sock. How did it get there? Skylar! She found the pocket change on the dresser, and sometime during the day put a coin in PaPa’s sock. That’s o.k. When she gets the chance, she also unrolls my deodorant, speed-dials my phone, spills drink upon my favorite chair, takes a bite from the dog’s dish, and with sticky fingers and messy face gives me a big hug and messy kiss. She’s my buddy, and we’re doing just fine.

Three years ago I could not have given the same summary of life. My troublesome 17-year-old hit me with the news that she was pregnant. At that moment life forever changed. Up until that time, I was hard at work with several of what I considered to be noble definitions of myself: Christian, Pastor, Family Man, Purveyor-Of-All-Things-Ri ghteous. All good titles, but now I know a man can do a lot better with a simpler and perhaps softer understanding of self. Had you known me back then, you would now recognize today’s person as familiar but markedly different. I’d like to think I am the new and improved version: a bit less serious, and certainly with a greater empathy for parents, teenagers, and all the rest who inevitably go through crazy chapters of life. And I admit that I am no longer so tough, no longer thinking I can handle all things without mussing my hair and still be home in time for supper. K’s pregnancy broke me, but it also remade me. Often it seemed Hell to go through. But, looking back, that was a great time of my life…perhaps The Defining Moment.

And that’s what I will write about over the next several days. If you would like, you can catch up with the story through the links below.

So, my foot was hurting? No big deal. Isn’t Life an amazing school?

Part I: My Teenage Daughter Is Pregnant
Part II: Let's Get The Pregnant Girl Saved
Part III: The Church Finds Out My Teenage Daughter Is Pregnant
Part IV: Skylar Hope, My Love, Welcome To The World