I still struggle with some aspects of race relations.  Kurtmaddox (http://kurtmaddox.tblog.com/ )  made a challenging comment in response to a previous blog.  Here is part of his statement: “…my test for "are you a racist" is "what would you say if your daughter brought a boy of another race home to meet you?" if you say anything other than "i'd do my best to learn about the values, visions and character of the young man" then you are a racist to some degree -- maybe a very small degree but, like being pregnant, you can't be just a little racist :-)”

 

I responded that I would not score 100 on his test, and he insightfully replied again:

“hmm... if you would not score 100 on my test, on what basis do you apply your principle to being welcome into your church family but NOT into your biological family???? i hope you don't mind a little gadfly-ism from me ;-)”

 

Now that is what I like about the interaction of blogging.  Sometimes you deal with folks who are not insightful or helpful; just raging.  And sometimes the interchange causes you to grow.

 

I still say that I am moving forward and maturing in the area of race relations, but I have yet to arrive.  I’m trying.  Here’s a little incident that happened two years ago that reminds me of the mountain I have yet to fully climb:

 

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I attended my daughter’s high school graduation at a large arena.  Her school is a mixture of many races, and I feel good about it being a part of her education.  My family sat down in a section surrounded by about a dozen blacks.  When the event began, we were asked to reserve applause until the end of the ceremony.  I consider graduation to be a milestone event, worthy of my respect and full attention.  However, the folks around me approached it much differently.  They talked quite loudly throughout the event.  They clapped and yelled when someone they knew walked through the line.  I had difficulty watching my daughter receive her diploma.  Those who sat around this group were grim-faced and annoyed, but said nothing.  I glanced over at the three beside me with an unhappy expression, and this large lady immediately said out loud: “Who do you think you are looking at?” I replied, “You are ruining this priceless event for me.”  The man next to her said, “You’d better shut up, or I will knock your head off.”  I believe he meant it.  Now they decided to behave even more rudely, as well as focus unkind remarks toward my family and I.

 

Looking back and considering the situation, I know it was not the color of these people’s skin that caused them to behave so inappropriately.  We have people of many different races who attend my church, and I could not imagine any of them behaving so inappropriately.  I believe cultural, economic, and educational factors were involved.  Still, that moment showed a stark difference in behavior of two different racial groups.  It is tempting to generalize and judge, and sometimes I fall into the trap.

 

I think I can learn something here.  Your comments please.

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posted by: LeananSidhe (reply)
post date: 08.09.05 (7:27 am)

I believe people of any race, religion, culture, economic and educational standing can be rude and threatening. In my experience, it's those of my own race, economic and educational standing who are some of the more ignorant of the bunch.

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posted by: DrForbush (reply)
post date: 08.09.05 (11:06 am)

Things get quite confusing when we talk about race and culture. Race is your genetics. Culture is your behaviour, ideals and things that your family and friends teach you from the time you were born. Both are inherited from your family. However only culture can be changed.

People are protective of their culture as well as their racial identity. That means that people can go out and recognize another member of their culture by the way that they behave. Similarly people can go out and recognize members of other cultures based on the way they behave as well.

We can think of no-racial cultures like: scientists, politicians, lawyers, doctors, working class folks, wealthy folks etc... We also often think about racially based cultures like Irish, French, Japanese, Indian (both Native American and Asian). The difference here is that one can recognize some racially based cultures by the way they look.

Just like saying a person with a shamrock on the bumper of their car a visual cue tells you what cultural behaviour you may expect when you talk to the people.

Now, imagine a culture of poor people. There are certain ways that poor people behave because of the way they were brought up. Manners may not have been taught, because both parents may have been working two jobs each just trying to put food on the table. The idea of rudeness may not be the same as for a person who attended finishing school. Since the parents may not have been around the kids may have been left to fend for themselves in whatever way they could. The kids may have been raised without adult supervision to some degree and kids were mean to each other. In fact, parents may have even taught self-defense strategies that aren’t the same as the kids raised in the suburbs. The dads may have taught the sons to hit the other guy before he hits you. The moms might have taught the girls to be quick with their tongue before the enemy has time to attack. These are cultural values, not racial values.

Our society uses the same strategy to identify cultures by visual cues, like knowing a guy is Italian because of the Italian flag T-shirt he is wearing. And, because of the cultural history of the African Americans many of them ended up living in poor neighborhoods and picking up rude and aggressive behaviour. Other poor kids growing up in poor neighborhoods also pick up these rude and aggressive behaviours as well. It is not a racial thing but a cultural thing.

The good news is that culture can change. The bad news is that culture needs to change from within the culture. People outside the culture can not force a culture to change. In other words, groups develop that cultures by accident and by tradition. Traditions become rooted in a culture and become passed down by generation to generation. Actively and consciously trying to change the problem aspects of a culture are the only way it can change. But there is hope. Look at the smoking habit that was part of American culture in the 1950s. Fifty years later many fewer people smoke, and those who do are now looked down on by society in general.

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posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 08.15.05 (6:23 am)

Reply to: LeananSidhe
True. Very much. I've done very little reading in Sociology, but I see the tendency toward a "pack" mentality. We take on the behavior of the pack, if we are part of it.

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posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 08.15.05 (6:32 am)

Reply to: DrForbush
Great post.

You have crystalized for me a truth I have accepted, but wavered from at times. Indeed, the behavior of these folks is rooted in culture, not race. They do not have an inherent racial flaw. The bahavior is learned and encouraged by others around them.

Interesting that you would say that change cannot be forced, but must come from within. I believe that to be the message of Christianity. When Christ changes a person's heart, then of necessity his behavior will be changed.

I believe a lasting answer to the racial divide where I live is for genuine Christians to practice genuine Christianity. It embarasses me that the church is part of the problem, and moving slowly if at all toward the solution. For the church to be relevant, it must be racially inclusive.

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posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 08.15.05 (6:41 am)

Reply to: kurtmaddox
The "dirty look" certainly was not helpful to the situation. It emerged from frustration and anger. And, yes, I did feel the behavior of these people was inferior. They were displaying an ongoing lack of respect for the social situation, my daughter, and myself. However, I did not "turn the other cheek", an important part of my faith. I did not want to turn the other cheek, and that is a matter God and I have discussed. He got the last word on the matter.

How could I have handled the matter differently? Maybe I could have dialogued with the peolple around me. If they like me, they might have respected my rights. Or, when first entering the stadium, I could have looked over the situation and realized that sitting in the midst of these folks at this time would not be good. But I really did not look at the crowd in terms of black and white. I was just looking for a place to sit. Naive, perhaps.

Thanks for your insights. You have helped me to grow-up, at least a little.

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posted by: DrForbush (reply)
post date: 08.15.05 (8:02 am)

Reply to: newbie

One problem with thinking that Christianity alone can solve this problem is to look at examples of cultures where nearly 100% of the culture is Christian and there still seems to be problems with crime, but maybe not so much rudeness. :-}

I was just thinking of Christian countries like Italy and Ireland where Christianity has an extreme importance in the culture. In Italy Crime Families create the illusion of belief in Christian values while they act contrary to these behind the scenes. In Ireland two Christian groups just finished fighting a Civil War where many people lost their lives. (I do realize the political aspect of this conflict, but what would Jesus say about his followers behaving this way?)

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