Life-Lessons From Julie
Sometimes, still I sit and cry. Julie died of Ewing’s Sarcoma some five years ago. She was twenty years of age, my wife’s niece. I really did not know her all that well, although periodically I’d see her at family gatherings, and keep up with her through correspondence. She lived most of her life as an MK (Missionary Kid) in the Dominican Republic. She was a tall and lanky girl, with long flowing blond hair, and a ready smile. She was a “mama’s girl”, her mother’s best friend. I knew her well enough to know she was a person of quality, from an outstanding family and destined to make a positive impact upon life. Many words describe Julie: attractive, easygoing, compliant, focused, sweet, and religious- quite religious. She loved God, studied her Bible, and resolutely planned for a life of missionary service.
And it all seems so very unfair. As I said, sometimes I cry, for Julie missed out on so much of life. She enjoyed children. She was a “big-sister” to a little girl in her College town, and was constantly heaping love on that child. Julie told her mom she dreamed of one day having five children! But, she never had a serious love relationship with a guy, although I know she would have made a great mate. She never entered her career as a teacher, though she would have been outstanding. Oh, what might have been! And I am puzzled. Can I dare to say, I am even angry at God! Not that I have abandoned His love, or ceased to serve Him. But often when I think of Julie, my hands begin to shake and my eyes blur, and I look up to God with clenched teeth.
This event, the death of Julie, has forever changed my faith. It is almost as if my Life-Task started anew with her passing. Nothing is simple anymore. God. Faith. Answers. I prayed and trusted God so very much for her healing, yet it never came. I found answers and promises from scripture, but they had a hollow nature when she died. I hated that the skeptics, who glumly forecast her demise, actually won. And, there was nothing serene and peaceful about her passing. It was unrelenting, ugly, and painful. And, as I have repeatedly stated, it was all so unfair.
But, I have also found a peace. It did not come instantly, and it is not always smooth, but it is there deep within. Can a person have peace with God and yet continue to disagree with His ways? Can my love grow for a Person who becomes more, not less, distant with the passing of time?
I will begin soon with a series of writings I will entitle “Life Lessons From Julie”. I seek to give tribute to this fine young lady, who certainly did not ask to be hit so hard by life, and perhaps even by God. And, I hope to compliment what I see to be both a terrible and wonderful thing- this mystery of Christian Faith. I’d love for you to travel along with me in the coming weeks. I’m not necessarily a deep man; just a wounded believer with a story to tell. And I’d welcome your comments.
Here’s the list of upcoming essays:
God Is Not Fair
Life Isn’t About My Affirmation, Anyhow
Prayer Works, But…
Belief In An Afterlife Is Very Important
Sometimes, You Just Survive
God Is Mystery
Be Careful About Offering Advice & Answers
God Is There, & That’s Enough
