Instant Therapist
GROW A THERAPIST
Since life is so filled with pressure and challenges, we all have times when we need a therapist. Now everyone can!
I came across this little item at the local store, hanging next to the register and begging for my purchase. Some tend to think I often waste money, but here is a huge savings. Your average therapist can easily cost at least $100 per session. And, all that probing of your thoughts, relationships, and experiences can be exhausting. Why not “Grow A Therapist”? That's right. For a couple of bucks you can buy this little guy and take him home. Pop him into a bucket of warm water, and he will grow to 600 times his size; it says so right on the cover.
Since I only have a 2 megapixel camera, and a cheap one at that, here's what is proclaimed on the package:
*He won't judge you.
*Drug free therapy
*He's the only shrink that grows.
*He is available any time you need to talk.
*He can listen to your problems all day long.
*No matter how unbelievable your issues are he will always keep a straight face.
I give you permission to right-click this image, and save it on your computer as a screen-saver. Then you can have a therapist available everytime you sit down at the computer.
I'm soaking my therapist even as you read, and tomorrow morning he should be swelled to full size.
You know, that sounds a little wierd.
02.13.06 (7:58 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
02.13.06 (3:19 pm)
it does sound a tad weird... there are laws about fraternization.
posted by:
guerillafunk (
reply)
post date:
02.13.06 (3:27 pm)
LoL, Dave! This is great! I want one! My teen angst has a body count.
posted by:
kurtmaddox (
reply)
post date:
02.13.06 (4:12 pm)
That's how I began... as one of those little "grow a blogger" toys -- and look at me now!!!!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.13.06 (4:41 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
Oops, I misspelled weird.
And you are right. It probably would not be ethical to have my therapist to swell in my presence.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.13.06 (4:43 pm)
Reply to: guerillafunk
Isn't one of the best things for a tenager is to have someone who just listens. Doesn't give advice, doesn't butt in, just listens. Go ahead and copy this little fellow into a jpeg and use him all you want.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.13.06 (4:43 pm)
Reply to: kurtmaddox
You have certainly expanded.
posted by:
ruined (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (2:30 am)
That's a pretty cool deal, there. But, on the other handhe has the same problem as a lot of therapists... he tends to get a big head. ;)
posted by:
katesykate (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (7:26 am)
lol pastor dave. thats why i keep coming back here. you have a variety of things to talk about, some are serious but interesting, some are uplifting, some are funny. you certainly know how to put a smile on my face :-)
posted by:
bacardibreezer (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (7:50 am)
lol that's great, now they just need a "massage in a box"...
posted by:
funkadelichika (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (11:17 am)
I want one! No seriously I do. I love stuff like this. How can I get one? I am not joking...
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (5:01 pm)
Reply to: ruined
One of my favorite movies is "What About Bob" starring Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfus. Dreyfus plays a straitlaced professional therapist to the hapless Murray. Obviously the counsellor is the one who is anal-retentive. the uptight man with deep-seated psychological issues, the therapist, is a great character. I've known a few professional counsellors who would fit the bill. Swelled head, yes.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (5:03 pm)
Reply to: katesykate
Then please keep smiling. I have a tendency to take life far too seriously. The capacity to laugh is essential. So if I can help you to do so, then I've done something quite important.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (5:04 pm)
Reply to: bacardibreezer
Do you have a Spencer's Gifts in your area? That's not where I got this little item, but they have lots of strange and funny things. Probably even a "massage in a box".
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (5:06 pm)
Reply to: DeathByGlitter
I guess I'm weird. I bought one, lost it, and so returned to the store to buy another. My wife thought I was crazy. Only in America?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (5:09 pm)
Reply to: funkadelichika
I did a quick Google, and came up with a couple of ebay items. Far too high-priced, plus they make money on the shipping.
T-mail me if you are truly serious. I'll see if the local guys have another. Who knows, if you are nice, I might even send you my extra!
posted by:
ScarlettGKPi (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (5:33 pm)
Haha that is the funniest thing I've seen all day. Yesterday in our college newspaper there was an article about internet addiction. Apparently there are some really insane psychologists who say that an increasing number of college students spend 90% of their time online and not on homework. Thus, according to the article, we need to have a definitive and treatable diagnosis for internet addiction. They suggested intense therapy and medication if needed. Maybe the psychologists and the supposed internet addicts just need to buy this guy!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.14.06 (5:59 pm)
Reply to: ScarlettGKPi
Treatment for internet addiction? How about "Get a Life"? How about self-motivation and self-discipline?
Maybe you could receive a government grant for a couple of million dollars to set up an office and distribute these little guys to every IA student who walks in the door. Sounds like a worthy expenditure of our tax dollars to me!
Thanks Scarlett!
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
02.15.06 (7:45 pm)
This format looks great Dave.
posted by:
ScubaDiva (
reply)
post date:
02.16.06 (10:16 am)
I wonder if you could deduct the purchase price as a medical expense?
posted by:
babe4Jesus55 (
reply)
post date:
02.17.06 (6:37 pm)
Haha. I've seen one for "grow the perfect man" too. tempting...
