posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
02.19.06 (5:01 pm)
first I'd like to comment on your cute little box down below and to the right... my middle finger would be extended in happy salute, but it's too much work!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.19.06 (5:05 pm)
Well, thank you! I thought the box was at the very bottom of my blog, and would only be seen after someone cursors through 25 of my posts. I wanted it to be a "reward" for the diligent seeker. Now I see it shows up on this page. I'll have to reconsider its presence.
posted by:
ScubaDiva (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (1:51 am)
I think I'll pass on the contest... If it was a sparkly tiara, I'd be ready to thrown down for it. (I learned that hip phrase from the Olympic snowboarder competition)
Yes pigs can fly. The problem is more to do with their landing than takeoff. They are actually quite aerodynamic.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (3:13 am)
If pigs can fly, then surely they can swim also. Would you not like to win this hog so it can scubadive with you?
posted by:
danielmacdonald (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (3:36 am)
HAHAHAHA I think you wind hog wild and your hoging it all for yourself!:)) good post Pastor as always. I pass also on the hog.
Daniel
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (4:50 am)
Okay, first of all, as a proud American, I would not accept your foreign made hog.
Second, I'm thinking the thing to do is stuff it into the barrel of Dick Cheney's shotgun and pour in some water.
Third, if that works, I'll spring for a few more and you can stuff them into the exit canals of Falwell, Dobson, Robertson, and any other mega-church or TV preacher you can think of. (It'll block up the place they get most of their theology and all of their political facts.)
Then, when the work is done, invite me over for some ribs.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (7:17 am)
Reply to: surrogate
If you win this contest, you could do something noble with the proceeds, like donate your hog to the Fundamentalist Ministers Proctological Foundation. Some of these guys may be on the Board of Directors?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (7:20 am)
Reply to: danielmacdonald
I'm not hogging anything. I want to share. I want to share this fine hog with someone like you. You can use it. It will swell up and be your companion on those dark and cold nights in Maine. Just enter the contest.
posted by:
Darksaber (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (7:48 am)
O....kayyyyyy. I deserve this hog and more ,because I am (like everyone) a sinner and cannot possibly earn my way to a paradise free of such grow-your-own-hogs. However, I have also accepted the Lord's gift of forgiveness, meaning regardless of whether I deserve that hog, I do not have to endure it.:) And also, great box down there ↓.
-Revan
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (7:57 am)
Reply to: Darksaber
Interesting response. And I do like your mingling of hogs and spirituality. Yours is certainly a worthy entry.
Now the box is a bit of an accident, as I shared with surrogate. Thanks for liking it. That's 1 for it and 1 against it.
posted by:
funkadelichika (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (9:27 am)
Great box at the bottom there. Hmm a hog contest eh? Well I should win because hmmm... Well I'll think of something later on I still have the rest of the week right?
posted by:
cherryred (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (12:43 pm)
OINK!
The hog was seated at the table...
He shakes his head, arrogantly twisting his oversized chrome spoon
He gathers an intimate quantity of dried ham remnants
_"Some people, some people, OINK! like lambs exclusively while myself say...there is naught, nor ought there be,
Nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey earth
As that Prince of Foods . . . The HOG!"
OINK!
Based on Muffin Man(F. Zappa 1975), adapted by Cherry Red
posted by:
Fairmoon (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (12:48 pm)
you're little box down there (that was rather rule huh?) doesn't annoy me one bit. Someone has to work with us bleeding hearts keeps the world from going to heck in a hand basket. Oh, no wait that's women! :P
I should win the hog because... if you give it to me i'll convert back and repent all my heathen ways. :D
OOOHHHHH i was ssssooooo joking there. anyways I kinda think pigs are creepy right now - look up pickton in a google search and you'll understand.
If you do choose me I'll set the pig free to roam wild in it's natural environment- that's want any good hippy-dippy -airy -fairy -green -liberal witch would do.
oh and by the way in canuckland liberal is a bad world because they are TOO Conversative. change you're little box to Green and you'll offend me. :D
FM
(as isaid before, i'm a little off my rocker today, sorry for al the babble)
HOG WILD? FREE WILD HOGS!!
FM
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (12:51 pm)
Reply to: cherryred
Frank Zappa, now that is a name from the past! Crazy and fun guy, if I remember.
Hog eating hog is kind of creepy, I think.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (12:55 pm)
Reply to: Fairmoon
When "liberal" is considered too conservative, then you have come to a point in politics I can little relate to!
Are you familiar with the vegan movement? They have lots to say, and even document, about the mistreatment of animals to assuage our demand for consumption. I think I will do a post about them sometime this week. I think they have a valid statement to make for our day and time.
You are officially entered in the hog sweepstakes. I am worried that you would set this little fellow free. He is so domesticated that he could little fend for himself. I doubt that he could even handle the first rain.
posted by:
Fairmoon (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (1:11 pm)
no one ever said canada made any sense. Up north a 'liberal' sits pretty much centre, if only a smidge to the left, while conversative continues to sit on the fence.
HAHAHA
NDP- new demoractic party- sit in the left seats and are closer to what you probably consider 'liberal', but even them, not so much.
Green's like to think they blanket the whole spectrum, but really we're slightly further left than the others. Conversative like to call us the bleeding hearts.
There an informal- please don't quote me ever- lesson in canadian politics.
FM
as for the piggy, well, my backyard has a tree it could sleep under and our fence is almost done! that's an inbreed pigs natural environment right?
yes I've heard of veganism. I've considered it, especially when i was a vegitarian, it seemed like a natural step.
then i got preggers, craved meat and still haven't gone back.
FM
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
02.20.06 (3:39 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
So for a few years a friend and I ran a gourmet pizza joint in my home town. We had a bunch of vegan customers to whom we catered dutifully, ordering special ingrediants to satisfy their cheese-less pizza desires....
One day we received a letter from a law firm stating that we had, in fact, NOT been serving vegan pizzas to those who ordered them.
"It's it not true, that you use honey to feed the yeast in the dough?" the letter asked.
It was true. Neither of us had ever given it a second thought, and we put up signs apologizing and switched to sugar...
...and then one of our vegan customers came in and stated that yeast itself was a living thing too, and if we REALLY wanted to go vegan, we'd come up with another way to get the dough to rise.
We just shook our heads and decided not to claim anything about our pizzas after that, except that they were tasty.
Then later found out the letter was meant as a joke from an employee who'd gone off to college, and had a friend of his send it.
Grrrr.
posted by:
JT (
reply)
post date:
02.21.06 (9:13 am)
Okay, I'll bite, because I think the hog thing is funny. (And, though I'm a liberal, I'm willing to concede that the box down below is, too.)
Why I'd Like To Win The Hog, by JT
I'd like the hog because I'm a Jewish gal who doesn't believe in the laws of Kashrut. I'm married to a former Lubavitcher who, while no longer bearded or Shomer Shabbos, does not eat pork or shellfish. I just don't think that's going to be how G-d might judge us as people... "Were you a caring person? Were you thoughtful and helpful when possible? Great, just one more question and we can let you into Heaven.... Did you ever eat a piece of bacon?"
WHOOOSH>>>>>> straight down to The Bad Place.
(Of course, many Jews don't believe in Heaven or Hell, but go with me on this one.)
I have one more reason for not believing in Kashrut:
My beloved grandma Ruth told me this story years ago. She worked at Carl Fischer Music in the Chicago Loop as a teen. Raised strictly kosher, she didn't go with her friends when, on Fridays, they'd celebrate by having barbecued pork sandwiches for lunch from a local diner. However, the sandwiches smelled SO good. One week, she decided to be sneaky, so she put aside her homemade lunch and went with them. The sandwich was DELICIOUS! She gobbled it up and then washed up carefully, so that nobody at home would smell barbecue on her.
Within an hour, my poor grandma was sick as a dog. Her first thought was that she was being punished for breaking Kashrut. She struggled with the concept for the next week, but decided the following Friday to test the theory. She got the sandwich again.
Again, my grandmother got sick... but not quite as bad as the last time.
So, she got that darned sandwich every single Friday until she no longer suffered a stomachache.... and from then on, didn't bother to keep kosher.
posted by:
Sillygrrl3 (
reply)
post date:
02.21.06 (2:26 pm)
*whispers* I have never touched a pig. Not even the cute ones in the petting zoo. I am vegetarian too, so I haven't eaten one either.
*hiding*
Kara
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.21.06 (4:06 pm)
Reply to: Fairmoon
So, what is the label for the true conservatives in Canada? Isn't Martin a genuine, true political conservative? That's what we have been lead to believe by our press. Of course, they are usually liars!
I would trust you with my pig. That's how much I like you.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.21.06 (4:07 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
Wow, that former employee deserved a serious kick in the rear.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.21.06 (4:10 pm)
Reply to: JT
JT. I am intrigued as to why your grandmother got so sick when she first ate pork? Maybe the reaction was similar to when you smoke that first cigarette. The body is trying to tell you something. I agre that pork is probably not a healthy food. And, maybe there was something psychosomatic about her initial reaction to pork.
You've enlightened me. I assumed all good, religious Jews would abstain from pork. There I go getting my broad brush knocked out of my hand again!
You are now oficially entered in the Win-A-Hog contest. Thanks!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.21.06 (4:12 pm)
Reply to: Sillygrrl3
You have lived an overly sheltered life. You have never gone to a farm and ridden on the back of a hog, holding onto his ears as he ran through the field? You poor, poor girl. Is there no redneck in you at all?
posted by:
LeananSidhe (
reply)
post date:
02.21.06 (6:26 pm)
As I am an avid sweepstaker, who never wins anything, I would like to enter your contest...with fingers crossed I win.
Reasons I would like to win Pastor Dave's Hog:
1. I like pigs, alive and dead, preferabley on my plate in the form of bacon beside my eggs.
2. My hubs has always wanted a "Hog" and if I could give this to him it would be his dream come true ;)
3. I need a little piggy to remind me that although I am pregnant, I am indeed not as fat as a pig!
4. It will make all my friends jelous.
5. It will make all my friends, and most funny of all - my mormon mother-in-law scratch their heads and wonder just why a pastor sent me this hog.
6. I need another pet. I have 2 dogs & 2 cats, why not a piggy too?
7. It's my 30th b-day on the 26th and winning this Hog would make my b-day a little brighter :)
All in all...I just want a little momento from a lovely American blogger named Pastor Dave.
posted by:
Fairmoon (
reply)
post date:
02.22.06 (9:19 am)
Paul Martin was leader of the Liberals. Since you thought he was conservative it sorta shows you where he stood.
Anyways it's darling Steven Harper whos the conservative and now in power. he blieves very strongly in NO same sex marriage, NO medicare, and NO pretty much anything that makes Canada so gosh darn cool.
Anyways he really freaks me out, so much so that we're renewing our passports just in case he and Bush got too buddy buddy and start moving canada towards freaky Manifest Destiny. cuz if that ever happens we're moving to Ireland!
FM
posted by:
Sillygrrl3 (
reply)
post date:
02.22.06 (9:33 am)
I have 2 first names doesn't that count for a little redneck? born in TN - doees that qualify? *grin* kara
posted by:
JT (
reply)
post date:
02.22.06 (10:18 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
I think Grandma Ruth probably got sick because (a) it was a new food and probably rich, and (b) because she was expecting something horrible to happen -- your psychosomatic reasoning. I think she thought so, too. She certainly told that story with relish!
There are probably many religious Jews who would say I am not a "good, religious Jew," only partly because I don't keep Kosher. There are three "main" styles of observance -- Orthodox (most strictly adhere to the laws of the Torah), Reform (most contemporary and least strict), and Conservative (somewhere in between).
I was raised Reform, which meant that I was consecrated, Bat Mitzvah'ed, went to Sunday School, learned Hebrew, and attended services with my family. The way I was raised is now considered more Conservative than Reform... Reform has gotten REALLY reform since I was a kid.
But long story short(er), many Jews don't keep Kosher. Some, like me, don't believe in it *and* think that shellfish is simply delicious. *grin*
posted by:
Mimi (
reply)
post date:
02.23.06 (3:58 pm)
I have absolutly no political agenda...I don't even like pork...I just think I deserve to win so I can give my prize to April (for updates please check my site) xoxox mimi
