You Messed Up My Comfortable Life. Thanks!
I've been thinking that mine has been a pretty sheltered, insulated, and predictable life. “Safe” would be a good description. My daughter' pregnancy and the birth of Skylar have been a great intrusion to an otherwise comfortable life.
Actually, the trespass of this little one upon my life and heart has been a liberating experience. When I learned that K was pregnant, this baby was not wanted or welcomed. I experienced grief, even deeper than the loss of a loved one. For months I hurt, seldom prayed, had little energy or joy. I gained more weight during this pregnancy than my daughter, mostly because of the lethargy of depression. The great change emerged, I think, on the day after her birth. I held Skylar for the first time. She felt so good, so right, so much a part of me. Tears welled up in my eyes. The anger and guilt and hurt melted away. All at once there was a great release and I knew this was good. Just love. There's nothing like it.
Should a guy be talking like this?
Watch out. Your next great crisis, as tough and unwelcome as it surely will be, may be the best thing that could ever happen to you.
03.06.06 (11:27 am) [
edit]
posted by:
ruined (
reply)
post date:
03.06.06 (7:06 am)
Thinking about it... maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing. Seems like I've come out of every crisis a little bit (if not stronger, than) wiser. No pain, no gain?
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
03.06.06 (7:27 am)
Well, wiser I get after a crisis. Stronger? Maybe my heart is a slow growing muscle. Although a new baby in the family might just do the trick.
posted by:
funkadelichika (
reply)
post date:
03.06.06 (10:03 am)
I think in this case it is a lot easier to get a blessing out of the so called crisis I mean it's a baby! Who doesn't just love that new baby smell? But in many other case crise can cause much devastation throughout a whole family or individual that will never fully be mended.
posted by:
OftheClan (
reply)
post date:
03.06.06 (11:01 am)
Remember everything happens for a reason, crisis, damage, hurt, grief, depression, joy, love and babies all happen exaclty when they are supposed to, all you can do is remember...
This to shall pass!!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.06.06 (11:11 am)
Reply to: ruined
Wiser, not stronger. Often that is the case. I've heard it said that your faith is like a muscle- it will only grow by being challenged. That's life, too. Boy but this pregnancy of my daughter has challenged the very bedrock of my life.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.06.06 (11:13 am)
Reply to: surrogate
Heart a slow-growing muscle? I think I have a heart like that. And this baby has served as a crash-course in fitness.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.06.06 (11:19 am)
Reply to: funkadelichika
I don't equate this challenge, at least in intensity, with some other experiences that can be much more devestating. But it has been hard. With my daughter having a baby without being married, I have had to face many things. She chose to rebel against an important part of my faith and my morality. In her immaturity she has brought another human being into the world. Now I have a responsibility toward this new person: emotionally, relationally, materially- every way imaginable. Others see quite obviously the imperfection of my family and failure of my parenting. All of these, at least perceived results, have hit me hard. It is a real crisis for me. But love is stronger. It is true that when I hold a newborn, I can clearly experience that love. If I were someone assaulted by a mugger, or critically injured in an accident, or a million other terrible tragedies, then surely it would be more difficult to see the silver lining. You are right to say this may not be so bad, from such perspection. But it is surely a challenge.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.06.06 (11:23 am)
Reply to: OftheClan
Romans 8:28.
But, I see freedom in our universe. Maybe I will understand differently at another time, but now I do not believe the conception of this child at this time was part of the perfect plan of God. It happened because of disobedience, not obedience. Now once the process was in place, then she was a miracle of God to be celebrated and loved. But I prefer my daughter to be in love and married, and emotionally mature, before giving birth. That just seems to be a better situation. Still I trust God and celebrate Skylar. And my daughter is a great person.
posted by:
ScarlettGKPi (
reply)
post date:
03.06.06 (4:13 pm)
I totally agree. I've had so many of these situations which interupted my comfort zone. An abusive father, raised my brothers since I was 9, a horrible high school, the war in Iraq at age 19, and now a dying father. All of this and I'm 23. But looking back, I see how all of this made me stronger, made me believe and trust in God so much more. I learned so much from each experience. It is evident that you are growing and learning from this experience and well you should!!
posted by:
rocky (
reply)
post date:
03.07.06 (8:09 am)
I need to test for a little bit. You can leave these comments and I will have them deleted in a few minutes. Thanks!
posted by:
rocky (
reply)
post date:
03.07.06 (8:11 am)
test
posted by:
rocky (
reply)
post date:
03.07.06 (8:11 am)
test
posted by:
rocky (
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post date:
03.07.06 (8:11 am)
no name
posted by:
fake_name (
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post date:
03.07.06 (8:12 am)
fake
posted by:
bfhk geprbc (
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post date:
08.07.06 (8:26 am)
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