Meet My Mom: A Tribute For Mother's Day
Let me tell you about my mom; she is truly an amazing person.
Mom & Marriage
She married as soon as she turned 18, to a man over twice her age. I've asked her why. Mom has always been quite honest, and that is something I have come to admire about her, and she told me she married just to get out of the house. Not love. Now, that's straight-talk! She and dad were not too happy together. It seems he had an adversity toward work, and help around the house, etc. Mom busied herself raising three boys, and took in ironing for extra money, and took a job as a waitress. Dad died when I was 10, and mom just kept on raising her kids.
Mom & Hard Work
Mom has always been one to work hard and keep moving. She has been married 4 times, and at age 86 tells me she has finally found happiness. She deserves it. She has always struggled financially, and often been disappointed with love, but she has never quit. I never remember hearing mom whine, or stay home from work because of the blues. Life would get heavy, but she was always stronger.
Mom worked at the Coffee Shop of the local hospital while I was growing up. As I remember, she made $2.12 an hour with no tips. Her supervisor was her sister-in-law Rita Mae, and the two did not like one another. And she stayed with it for over 20 years, until the place was shut down. She worked second shift, and I believe she never missed a day of work. I remember the Guidance Counsellor at school telling me that she was amazed at how well my mom was able to take care of me on such limited income. At the time I did not think much about it. Now I do. I graduated from High School when most of the kids around me did not. And, about the same time mom got her GED in her early 50's, I graduated from College. It has seemed to be natural to me to work hard and seek to live a life of value. And I owe it to mom.
I went to see her this last week. She was sitting on the sofa reading a book- she is always reading. I took her and John out to eat, and then I helped them pick up some lawn furniture at the local department store.
Mom Is A Liberal...And You Better Like It!
Did I tell you my mom is a religious liberal? Oh, she would probably be insulted if she heard me use the term. She has been a member of Southeast Baptist Church since her teens, but she never attends church. Yet, she insistes that things are alright between her and God. She tells me she does not like most church people- although she quickly adds, for my benefit, that she likes the people at my church! Others are haughty and often superficial. I asked her to define a Christian. Without hesitation, she said a Christian is someone who is kind and loving, and treats others with respect. I was going to debate with her by talking about the need to be born again, but then I thought that she was really giving a pretty good description of Jesus. I don't think mom reads the Bible very much. I guess it is just a book to her. But she insists that she prays, and often. And, when I start talking about absolutes (political, religious), she just rolls her eyes and changes the subject. I thought about how amazingly accepting and open she was to my daughter's pregnancy. Apparently, mom is not into judging others and condemnation. Oh, and there are some Mormons who stop by her house periodically. I tell her to watch out, that they are trying to convert her. She says they are such nice boys, and that she likes to offer them a glass of tea and talk about nice things.
Mom lives in a black neighborhood, and it does not phase her one bit. She likes to give ice cream and cookies to boys and girls who play all around the house. She is fast becoming quite popular with these little ones. Mom grew up with Jim Crow laws, and Ku Klux Klan rallies down the street. But she never taught me to be prejudice. I remember Mr. Hun Reed, a coal black man who lived across the street from where we grew up. I think dad did not like him. And I think mom often took a plate of hot food over to this old bachelor. Mom modeled racial acceptance for me way before it was popular in the deep South.
Thanks, Mom
So I owe my heart to this hard-working, kind, liberal, loving woman that I call Mom. I really know how to love God only because love was modeled so well by this amazing person. And I love her dearly.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom.
05.13.06 (11:16 am) [
edit]
posted by:
toztee (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (7:19 am)
You are blessed to have such a wonderful mom.
It would be wonderful if more people her age were
as bold and accepting of others. I have found that many in her age category are very prejudice. Not a pleasant thing to incur when you are trying to treat your elders with respect. I hope you have shared these compliments with her in person. She is a blessed Mom to have such a thoughtful son.
posted by:
Misguided (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (8:37 am)
She sounds like an amazing women and u should be very proud 2 have such a mother...She sounds alot like my grandmother and its a wonderful feelings having them in our lives...I wish a happy mothers day for your mom..
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (10:58 am)
Reply to: toztee
Yes, I have told her, although mom is not too much for sentimental talk. She makes her statements of love with action. And I think you are right- from my very prejudicial point of view, she is heads above most of her peers.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (10:59 am)
Reply to: Misguided
So, your grandmother is a special person. Let's all have a happy mother's day. I wonder what your kids will do for you on this special day?
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (11:52 am)
wow, pd...how lucky you are to have your mom for all these years! i miss my mom, although she was no saint...best thing she taught us was the love of reading, writing and spelling...played Scrabble with us way before we were any good at it : )
my mom was the ultimate "blanche" until she got ill..then she passed the baton over to me and I do a fabulous job of carrying on the tradition...also, the older i get, the more i look like her...and she was a "hottie" from waaaay back : )
xoxo
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (1:01 pm)
Reply to: mimi
So you look like your mom, and she was a "hottie"? Not bad. You'll have to post a picture from your latest glamour shots.
My mom has always been an attractive lady, even now all the old men turn their heads and look at her.
posted by:
cuz (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (3:55 pm)
What a joy to read this. I love your Mom too! I have so many fond memories of the years that she kept me while my Moma worked. They were some of my most favorite times. I've told her often when I've seen her...it is not easy to catch the lady at home. She was always so sweet to us when we'd take her bouquet of "weedy" flowers, just like we'd handed her a couple dozen roses. My Mom threw hers away right in front of me and informed me that I'd better not bring in any more weeds. Oh well...that is funny now. Moma just didn't have the imagination that her sister, your Mom, has. Your Mom is a great lady, Mom, and Aunt!!! She still crack's her jokes when I see her and flirts with my husband! : ) Of course she still claims my sister looks just like her and that I can still be her baby girl. Since I don't have a Moma anymore, I'm sure glad to be able to tell somebody about my wonderful Aunt that cooked, fed, tend to me when I was sick, scolded me when needed, and always had time to tell us stories and sing to us. Yep! I love your Mom!
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (4:03 pm)
I like your Mom. Wow. Did I mention I like your Mom? Oh. Good.
What a cool person.
Is her tea good?
Next time I come through? -she get's to come too. Fair?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (5:23 pm)
Reply to: cuz
It is interesting how some of the very characteristics that at one time bothered me about her are now so endearing. For years I have wished that she was more religious, in the conventional way that works for me. I'm coming to realize that she and God are o.k. with one another- they just relate differently than my connection, but every bit as valid. Mom's o.k. I'm getting the urge to call her. Problem is, she's in bed by now, and besides usually does not hear the phone ringing.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (5:26 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
She would jump in the car and travel to Michigan in a heartbeat. Mom's always ready to go. She and John, both aged 86, went to Florida for a week for their honeymoon. They came home, he went into the hospital for a week of recovery, and she went to play bingo every night. She's one of a kind. I'm thinking I could learn some more from her, and maybe lighten up just a little.
By the way, you are now my official Friend. If you like Mom, then I like you. Next time through, you stay at my place.
posted by:
girlpower (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (5:43 pm)
I wish my Mom was like your Mom. Great post!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (5:49 pm)
Reply to: girlpower
Granted, there are some bad moms out there. But I think, most of the time, we just need to give our moms (and dads!) a break. They are imperfect people who sometimes mess up, and while they usually do a good job, they never do it perfectly. Some of the very things about my mom that I now admire, for years they were irksome.
Thanks for checking out my blog. Hope you come again, and often. Your comments are always welcome.
posted by:
mercuryrising (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (6:10 pm)
Sure sounds like one heck of a lady! Smart too. I believe as she does that you can have a great relationship with the Lord and not go to church. I have found people are 2-faced and snobby as all get out. Seems to be that the larger the church is the more 'distant' they are. I attended a few years ago a church with over 1000 members and not one person greeted me on my way in or my way out. If I were to go seeking one it would definitly be a smaller congregation. I certainly miss the fellowship a church offers but I have replaced that with my own kind of fellowship and it seems to suit me and my needs.
I wish your Mom a great Mother's Day along with everyone else :)
posted by:
princess86 (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (7:24 pm)
a great tribute to a great loving mother!
she sounds like an amazing person, and has taught you many diverse lessons about life.
happy mothers day to all mothers out there
posted by:
cherryblossmgrl (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (8:01 pm)
Wow, what a great post! Your mom sounds like a great lady. Sounds like my mom is gonna be when she's that age ... married 4 times (she's on her fourth), always worked hard to support me when my dad didn't. Moms rule :)
posted by:
SupremeAnna (
reply)
post date:
05.13.06 (9:16 pm)
Fantastic post; thanks for sharing about this amazing woman. You're lucky you had such a wonderful role model. I love my mother with all my heart; she has taught me right from wrong, not through words, but actions. She's taught me everything about being a woman, about being a strong person, and about being true to myself. Please give your mom a hug from all of us and thank her for existing; I'm going to go hug my mom now. :)
posted by:
cuz (
reply)
post date:
05.14.06 (10:46 am)
OK...now after reading all these posts I'm sitting here all teary eyed. Makes me wish I could go hug my Moma. But I can't. She's already gone to be with Jesus. You've inspired me Dave. After having Moma gone for so many years I tend to put the thoughts of her away on Mother's Day. It doesn't hurt as much that way. But thank you..I needed to take time to remember her. Thinking and reading about your Moma, has helped me recall some wonderful, dear, sweet memories of my own little Moma. I'm all red nosed and blurry eyed, but I've got to pull myself together and go see the Mother-in Law. She's a pretty amazing woman too. Mom to five kids and whole brood of grand kids and great grand kids. Believe it or not, your post made me get the urge to call my EX-Mother-in-law and tell her happy Mom's Day.
posted by:
MyfairytaleLife (
reply)
post date:
05.14.06 (12:24 pm)
Wow, your mom is truly an amazing person. She's so strong and independent. I admire that. My mother's day is ok... I didn't really get to spend time with my mom coz she's at work..she's always working too.. being single mom is certainly hard... and demanding too. Anyways tell ur mom Happy Mother's Day~~
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.14.06 (12:57 pm)
Reply to: cuz
Alright, we may be going just a wee too far with this! Your ex- mother-in-law?
I remember your mom. She was a daredevil of a driver. I remember her driving on a curvy road along the side of the mountain, and then suddenly deciding to turn around. We could not have been more than an inch from driving right down the mountain, but she did it! And i remember she was very devoted to her husband- they were quite a team.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.14.06 (12:59 pm)
Reply to: MyfairytaleLife
I admire a single mom who works hard to provide for her family. It is quite telling that she would work even on mother's day, and probably not because she wants to. Maybe you could do something special for her when she gets home...a hot bath, dinner, some kind of pampering?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.14.06 (1:00 pm)
Reply to: SupremeAnna
Moms like hugs! And they are usually so soft and huggable.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.14.06 (1:03 pm)
Reply to: mercuryrising
I don't necessarily agree with my mom's chosen position concerning church, but then again she really did not ask for my approval. I think different churches have varying personalities, and that most anyone can find a suitable church if they try. My little church maybe has an attendance of 100 on most Sundays, but anybody I think would feel at home with us, and accepted and loved. So, you just swing on over here to Atlanta next Sunday!
I do appreciate your positive and thoughtful comments.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.14.06 (1:05 pm)
Reply to: princess86
Those lessons were slow to be learned. At 20 I little appreciated my mom. Now, many years later, she is a treasure. Thank God we grow and learn with time. Usually.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.14.06 (1:06 pm)
Reply to: cherryblossmgrl
Mom's Rule - now that would have been a great title for this post!
posted by:
cuz (
reply)
post date:
05.18.06 (6:27 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
If you thought my mom a daredevil driver you should have rode down the interstate with her and my GRANDMOTHER, "Moma Erie". She would ask if you were growing grass on A-- if you weren't doing at least 90mph. I come by my "wild" side quite naturally.
Oh and I happen to LOVE my EX-Mom-in-law. She is an awsome lady!
posted by:
cuz (
reply)
post date:
05.18.06 (6:34 pm)
Qick Reminder... my sx-Mom-in-law did not give birth to my ex. He is her step-son.
