A Sensible & Loving Way To Help Our Teenagers
Here is my appeal to fellow pro-lifers and religious/politi cal conservatives. I've thought about it, and believe it is time to be sensible about an important issue:
Let's make contraceptives available to teenagers. School clinics need to provide them freely, anonymously, and without question. It is a rare use of my tax dollars that I support.
I am not advocating or encouraging premarital sex for teenagers. I believe in abstinence. I think it makes sense. And I think a teenager, even in the midst of his/her ” hormone hurricane”, is able to choose to wait. And we should do everything we can to encourage such, including teaching it in our homes and churches. Promote it as the wisest and best choice in sex education classes in schools. And, by the way, I believe proper sex education is a desperate need in our homes and schools.
But, let's face it- in spite of efforts at discouragement, many teenagers choose to have sex. That's reality.
We must understand that one is not the same person at age 16, or 18, that he/she will become ten years later. For most, these years of transition will provide a wonderful experience of character seasoning. It has been likened to the blooming and maturing of a flower. And, many teenagers will commit some acts during their formative years that, five or ten years later, they will shake their heads in disbelief and readily admit to having been pretty stupid.
One such unwise thing that many teenagers will choose to do is to be sexually active. My question is why should we, as sensible adults who are watching and seeking to help the teen in his/her maturity process, allow a teenager to unnecessarily complicate his/her life during these crazy times? I'm talking about teen pregnancy. As a social conservative, I am not wanting a teenager to have sex. But even more, I am not wanting a teenager to become pregnant or contract an STD. I wish to give our wayward teenagers the chance to get through a crazy time in their lives without making a big mistake.
07.07.06 (12:45 am) [
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posted by:
seochris (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (12:12 am)
pastor u seem to be very updated. I support your views on this matter. Becoz precaution is better than cure. Let the church clear her stands universaly. I hope contraceptives can become aboon to the waywards.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (3:06 am)
Reply to: seochris
Having a teenage daughter to get pregnant will cause you to examine such views.
posted by:
kaikai (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (3:56 am)
I'm afraid, in the age of AIDS, there is no alternative but to educate people in the risks they are taking, and help them make the safest decision they can.
To expect teenagers to just say no, while a worthwhile aim, is totally unrealistic. Sometimes you have to meet people where they are.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (4:19 am)
I think we should encourage teens to say "no". But, let's do all we can to keep the decision to have sex from being a fatal mistake.
posted by:
JT (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (4:54 am)
PastorDave, I'm glad to see that you're so practically-minded on the subject -- if not for the risk of pregnancy, at least for the risk of health. Like you, I'd like to encourage youngsters to abstain as long as possible... but if they're gonna do it, they should at least be safe about it.
posted by:
tfruge1 (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (5:02 am)
I am a liberal and I support this 100%. It is a shame that teenagers are having sex at such a young age these days but that doesn't change the fact that they are still doing it. Contraceptives need to be made accessible for teenagers not only to protect against unwanted pregnancies but also STD's.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (7:27 am)
Reply to: JT
"Just Say No" should not be our sole message to teens. Many live with little respect for conventional morality, and we can spend lots of time questioning why and trying to force a moral code upon them. But, it does not work. Like you say, let's make it as safe as possible. AIDS is terrible. And, it is so unfair to bring a child into the world when the parents are unable to raise him. I'm not advocating abortion as birth control, but the prevention of the pregnancy. Makes sense.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (7:32 am)
Reply to: tfruge1
It seems this is not a liberal/conservative issue; just common sense. Too bad it is politically impossible.
posted by:
bjervah (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (10:23 am)
As i younger person i appreciate your views on this. I know a few people who have gotten pregnant just because they didnt feel like going through the hassle of having to deal with finding protection and such...which yeah, its a bad excuse, but if they have provided them free from clinics or at school or whatever, it could have been avoided. Thanks for your forward thinking.
posted by:
toztee (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (1:53 pm)
Three Cheers for YOU Pastor Dave!!! I believe abstinence is the way to go, even taught that idea. Yet...I've always thought...if teens do not think they can trust THEMSELVES to always say no...then they should ALWAYS be PREPARED with correct and good quality prevention of pregnancy. The "leaders" of most denominations do not usually agree with this idea. I applaud you for concrete thinking. Perhaps...IF parents teaching their children the idea of abstinence would include also this warning to their children it would help. It could be taught without giving the impression that the teens were being given "permission" for promiscuity.
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
07.07.06 (2:23 pm)
even being catholic, birth control just seems sensible, and a much better option to me than the morning after pill or abortion, or even...(i may get jumped on here) adoption. to prevent a pregnancy seems much more adult than to have to deal with one you don't want. and yes, lets make birth control easy and accessible. i have often wondered about the thought that maybe the implant in 14 year olds, its a five year implant. that brings them to 19 before they can get pregnant. of course, i would n't necessarily let them know.
then again, MY birth control for my three daughters consisted of the following.
at age 5 or so, get an animal, let it get pregnant ONCE. let the kids watch the birth. they all want to anyway. make sure they see the mom dog or cat pulling the baby out, the amniotic sac etc. make sure they see the mom tearing amniotic sac open. licking the blood and goop off the kitten/puppy. then, make sure they watch and see the mom EAT THE AFTERBIRTH. while they are grossing out, making fake vomit sounds etc..oh so casually say..
'YEAH, THAT WAS THE PART I HATED THE MOST, HAVING TO EAT THE AFTERBIRTH'.
THEN...simply walk away.
it worked. the first grandchld was born to a twenty year old MARRIED daughter, the second born to a twenty four year old un married daughter, but she WAS 24.
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
07.08.06 (4:01 am)
Well after reading the above comment, I see why it's taken so long for you to come to this conclusion. It's simply annoying to me that so many folks get in the way of things that make simple common sense because of what they consider to be their "inside track" on what God wants.
I can just imagine the thought that goes into whether to order Iced Tea at the drive-through window for these folks... What does the Bible say about it? And if it isn't specifically addressed, how can we try to make an obscure quote from some Old Testament book apply here? Oh NOOOO... I don't want to disappoint God!
It's too much. Of COURSE kids need to have contraceptives available to them. Amazing. Hell, only fools would think that providing kids with contraceptives is EQUAL to encouraging sex anyway. It's like saything that wearing a seatbelt encourages reckless driving. To take that analogy a step further: one of the main reasons for wearing a seatbelt is so that if you ARE in an accident, you're more likely to be able to control the car - reducing the risk to the rest of the population that the car will plow into someone's house, or car, or....
How does it apply? When kids have kids, the burden of care often falls upon all of us. -A subtle but persuasive further argument for keeping religious beliefs out of public policy.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.08.06 (5:41 am)
Reply to: carmenCC
I am familiar with the levitical laws of the OT, and the "sin of Onan" which has been used for centuries to discourage masturbation and any intercourse not for the purpose of propagation. Now I believe the Bible to be the Word of God, but not all parts of the Bible are of equal application to life today. There is a progressive revelation of scripture. The Old Testament Levitical laws give way to the teachings of Christ, and particularly the Greatest Commandment. Although the OT teaches the execution of witches, we know not to practice such today. We are not under a Theocracy, and love is not best served by killing someone because of his/her religious persuasion.
My logic is colored by my faith. I believe abortion is the killing of a human being. So if I can do something sensible to lower the number of unplanned pregnancies of unprepared teenagers, then it seems to me that love is best served by doing so. And I do not equate all "sins". To kill a pre-born child is a much greater offense than to "spill one's seed" as Gensis so eloquently states. And it seems to me, to prevent a teenager from ruining the rest of his life by giving him a prophylactic, is a loving thing to do.
I understand and respect the basic Catholic chuch teaching on birth control.
It is interesting that you are such a supporter of the Democratic Party. I believe your position on this partucular social issue would find very little sympathy in the current party, which is socially quite liberal.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.08.06 (5:44 am)
Reply to: bjervah
Of course, the "hassle of finding protection" is a challenge a mature person would accept and overcome. But a teenager is likely not mature, and add to that the temptation of the moment, and that how unplanned pregnancies come about.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.08.06 (5:47 am)
Reply to: fractalmom
I have been present for the birth of all 3 of my children. Everytime I have walked away thinking, "I am so very glad that men do not have to give birth!" And I've also repeatedly wondered, "Why would any woman, of sound mind, choose to go through this more than once?"
I like your approach, especially the part about simply walking away after the experience with no personal commentary to the children. Let them dwell on it a bit.
Poignant and funny. Thanks.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.08.06 (5:52 am)
Reply to: toztee
A past president of my denomination, SBC, found out his son was gay. This is a conservative preacher. So, what did he do? He embraced and loved his son. While he did not affirm his son's chosen lifestyle, he did affirm his son as a person worthy of love and acceptance.
I guess what I'm saying is that we have no business pontificating toward anyone we do not love. Gays. Teens. Anybody. And, love is not so much words as action. If I love the unborn child, then surely I would want to do all I can to prevent unwanted pregnancies. If I love teens, then I would want to prevent the ravages of STD's and AIDS.
Thanks. Teenas are a riddle, don't you think?
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
07.09.06 (9:17 am)
I wish you could sit down and discuss this issue with the pope. People are dying because of his refusal to budge on the Catholic Church's views on contraceptives.
posted by:
toztee (
reply)
post date:
07.09.06 (9:32 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
Yes I do find teens a riddle. So far...I think they continue being a riddle for some time after the teen years.
You have made some very clear and sensible statements on this subject. So I apologize for having ever wanted to swat you.
posted by:
ruined (
reply)
post date:
07.10.06 (4:57 am)
Very well said. It's one of those issues that will forever divide the public... and the church. It is believed that, by providing contraceptives to teenagers, it will be viewed as an encouragement to teenagers to have sex. But, following your logic, I think it only makes sense. Teens will do what they do... it is our responsibility to make sure that they remain safe and that their lives are made that much less complicated.
Well done.
posted by:
truthbrush (
reply)
post date:
07.10.06 (6:08 pm)
um so I read somewhere that the pill and most contraceptives actually kill the fertilized egg when it is still very small. is this true? if it is, and if life begins when a sperm and an egg meet, then isn't that sort of birth control technically abortion?
just curious.
