Teens Robbed By Manager Of Restaurant
My daughter and four of her friends gathered for an evening meal at a local sports grille. The place is a popular hangout for teens and young adults and is heavily advertised at High School football games as a great place to go after sporting events. I understand they made an extensive order of food requiring a good bit of work on the part of the waitress. And I understand they left about a $5 tip for a $60+ order. The shift manager, a burly guy with a beard, followed them out to the car and blocked them from leaving. He told them the waitress was insulted, that she needed a larger tip, and then stood at the window with his hand out awaiting more money. They hastily took up a collection, and then drove away in embarrassment.
My family was in the car, on the way home from an out-of-town trip, when she relayed to me this story. It was later in the evening, and the journey had been tiresome. But the more I heard, and the more I considered, the more irritated I became. I did something I rarely do- because it can get you in big trouble- I acted upon impulse and emotion, and drove straight to the restaurant to talk to this “manager”. My daughter was kind of surprised because this was out of character, as she tagged along. She pointed-out the man, and I discerned rather quickly that he was big and burly, but I was pumped-up and irritated. I could have taken him in a wrestling match at the moment, but I knew the confrontation would be verbal.
Thus I asked him why he had behaved toward my daughter and friends in such a way. He remembered the incident, and said he was simply trying to ascertain why these customers had mistreated his waitress.
Quickly I gained a reading of what had occurred. The waitress was attractive, and he was trying to make points with her by bullying a bunch of kids. I looked him in the eye, rather closely, and told him he would never have dared to follow me out to the car and treat me in such a way. And I told him that he should give these kids back their money. Of course he was not going to do that, and so ends the story. None of us have frequented that establishment again.
Quite a few issues here, worthy of comment:
A tip is, by very definition, a voluntary gift. I understand that a waiter/waitress depends on tips to make a living. And I believe that good service should be rewarded with a nice stipend. But it cannot be demanded.
Teenagers are generally bad tippers. This is either out of ignorance, poverty, or insensitivity; I think this particular group of kids were guilty of the latter. My wife was a waitress for many years, and she often told me that she dreaded to serve a table of teenagers. But, the “law of averages” tends to work with most commission jobs. A table full of teens requiring lots of work may leave a lousy tip. But, a guy who orders only a cup of coffee may leave a twenty-dollar-bill. It happens. A good waitress should offer consistent and friendly service, and she will be rewarded. And a good manager should understand this.
As parents, we should carefully monitor our “defence mechanisms” when it comes to our children. I know this. Generally we need to allow them to take care of their own challenges of life. Such is necessary preparation for adulthood. Usually the teacher or coach is not “picking-on your kid” in spite of how your child may tell the story; we need to just let it be. But I am convinced this guy acted as a bully, and I wanted to confront him on the issue. It’s not characteristic of my personality or approach to life. But sometimes I think it is necessary.
So, what think ye?
07.17.06 (12:02 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.17.06 (7:38 am)
Reply to: thunderthighs
$7 tip for an $8 meal is quite generous. If I were a waiter, I'd sure like to have you as a customer. Well, you know what, even if you were "cheap" you'd still make for an interesting customer.
That teens are bad tippers is pretty well known. I was thinking the reason why had to do with not having much money, or just plain ignorance. Selfish? You're right.
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
07.17.06 (9:23 am)
I'd call the police. The manager was out of line. Or write a letter to the franchise and your local paper for the letters to the editor column. They did leave five bucks, which is much better than nothing. Not all teens understand what percentage of the bill constitutes a good tip. And you're right, he never would have confronted an adult in such a fashion.
posted by:
inkspector (
reply)
post date:
07.17.06 (9:29 am)
WOW! My parents owned two fine dining facilities and that would have never have happen. That is wrong for an adult to bully teens to hand over their money. A tip is a voluntary thing and who is to say other people have control over your money? If he wants more for his waitresses/waiters, then the tip should be included in the bill and leave it like that.
One of the kids should have said, "ok, this is not right so let me call a parent on my cell phone to come on down and we can all discuss it. We will go wait inside till they come." Or call and hand him the phone to explain himself.
It is not that kids need a parent to solve their immediate problems but since this guy was an adult and threatening, then kids should realize, hey, I need Mom or Dad to help me out here.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.17.06 (11:10 am)
Reply to: bawdy
He was, basically, robbing these kids. And, the letter to the editor may be a good idea. This guy is the manager and part-owner of the business, and I'm guessing that such behaviour must not be typical, or he would be out of business real soon. We all do stupid things- maybe this was just his really stupid thing of the week/month/year.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.17.06 (11:13 am)
Reply to: inkspector
That would have been a great idea, and I would gladly have driven over there to discuss the issue with this man. Unfortunately, as I personally know, in the heat of the moment you often do not think clearly and rationally. These teens were just scared.
Another idea, if he really wants his waitresses to make good money, is for the establishment to pay them more. This is a restaurant that actively seeks the business of teens- they should know that some teens aren't going to leave a good tip.
posted by:
mercuryrising (
reply)
post date:
07.17.06 (12:29 pm)
Sure sounds like the manager was trying to score some 'points' with your daughter's server. I have worked as a server and no where that I have held a job would something like that be allowed to happen. It's against the rules. I have known of servers chasing down their customers and being fired over it. I would call and talk to the owner. I wouldn't let it go, but that's just me. It is true that teens don't tip good. I would like to think that ignorance plays a greater role than selfishness. Regardless the manager was out of line and I may have done the same thing if it happened to one of my kids or myself. In serving you learn to take the good with the bad, it's just part of the job.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.17.06 (6:38 pm)
Reply to: mercuryrising
This actually happened a couple of years ago. And I did call the owner. He talked with the manager and called me back. The manager gave him a very different story, and so he said he would have to side with his manager since he was not there when the event occurred. He did offer to give me a free meal, which I declined.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.17.06 (6:41 pm)
Reply to: LadyG
I think there is a difference between "should" and "have to". Of course they should leave an adequate tip. But this guy was telling them they have to. That's what irritated me.
I have another post, from a while back, entitled "How You Treat A Waitress Says Alot About Who You Are", and I agree. We should treat those who serve us with respect and kindness, going out of our way to do so. Another commenter to this blog has noted that teens are by nature rather selfish, and I agree, and so we do have to teach them to do better. Thanks for the reminder.
Is it proper to tip a florist?
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
07.17.06 (7:19 pm)
Nice move. Cool of you to act on their behalf, even if it was on impulse. Don't know how long ago this happened, but they should sue the damn ownership. Blocking the car or however he blocked them is intimidation bordering on extortion, and if it wasn't criminal, it certainly was actionable. Some restaurants have a policy whereby a tip is included in the bill if the party is large enough, but that would be printed on the menu and would have been included when they received the check. If they didn't have that policy (and even if they did but forgot to include it on the bill) they have NO grounds to stand on.
Way to go!
posted by:
seochris (
reply)
post date:
07.17.06 (7:37 pm)
This is ridiculous. The man was demanding more than what he deserves. As if he is dependent directly on the tips for paying the sal to his waitress. May be sometime in future laws would be enacted for paying tips beco'z teens are easily fooled as well as they can create embarrasment for others.
posted by:
tabootenente (
reply)
post date:
07.18.06 (11:35 am)
pastor,
strange story. i am of the "tip more than you're supposed to" population. someone serves me, adequately or otherwise, and it's hard to complain. yes, we pay a lot of our hard-earned dollars for food AND service. still, someone has to treat me pretty badly before i skimp on tip.
one time a friend and i forgot to tip someone. we were literally 100 miles away before we "remembered" we'd forgotten. we thought about going back--going back 100 miles. in the end, we didn't. i think that was one of the nails in the coffin of our friendship.
all of that means absolutely nothing, in relation to the shakedown the manager gave. if he'd run out of the restaurant and told the kids off for being disrespectful, but hadn't accepted any money, then as inappropriate as his action would have been anyway, i would have understood.
but he was well beyond acting inappropriately. you chose wisely and courageously. nice work, dave.
taboo
posted by:
spook102956 (
reply)
post date:
07.18.06 (1:57 pm)
You're saying that usually teachers/coaches aren't picking on our kid kind of hit a raw nerve with me. Probably that usually is the case, but the longer I have dealings with the public school system, the more disappointed I am. I try to be kind, respectful, etc with all involved with my kids' schooling, but it's hard. I don't know if it's the same all over, but I get so tired of teachers whining that they're not paid enough. I know it's a tough job, but I have a tough job too. I have the same education that most of them do,make about the same, and I do not get summers off. I'm lucky if I get Christmas day off, not weeks. I do not get spring break. I don't think they have it nearly as hard as others and as hard as they think they do. Also I have two very different kids. One that has always made great grades and one that struggles and often barely passes, though she tries very hard. I see a difference in the way teachers/principals, counselors treat me, depending on which child we're talking about. They treat me like I'm the most wonderful parent when we're talking about the child that does well. I have been treated like trash when trying to get help for my child who so desperately needs it. Sometimes these have been the same educators who taught both my children. Suddenly I am the scum of the earth and so is my child b/c she's doing poorly. And certainly it couldn't be any fault of the teacher or school system (sarcasm). I don't like being so negative and I really try not to be,but it's hard when "no child left behind" certainly doesn't apply to your child. I think there's a set of kids that are being left out, at least in my area: it's not the gifted, they have the pre-ap and ap classes and although I don't have a child in this area, I don't think it's the ones that are tested and qualify for extra help. It's the ones that do not qualify for any help, but barely make it studying and trying as hard as they (and their parents!) can, without much help and/or sympathy from the public school system. I know this is really off the subject, but maybe I just needed to rant. I already dread the school year with a passion and it hasn't even started! Thanks for letting me rant, maybe that'll help. Pray for me, I've been praying for this school year and hoping it'll be better than last.
