Continued Tales Of "Bizarro Mom & Dad"
Today I made my monthly three-hour drive to go see my mom. These trips are always an adventure, and this one was no exception. Mom is 87; so is her new husband, John. Two weeks ago I learned, after the fact, they were both in the hospital. I could not make out exactly what was going on. Mom does not hear conversations on the phone very well, and just responds to what she thinks she is hearing. She might talk about okra one moment and nuclear fission the next. But I did hear something about heart and kidney failure. Immediately after hanging up the phone I called my brother, who had gone to see about her, and learned she was in the hospital with a urinary tract infection. She is still convinced it was heart failure, and who am I to argue? And John, her husband, well...I'm still not sure. He tells me he is a Federal Marshall, so maybe he was injured in a shootout? I hope you can discern they are both rather eccentric.
I pulled into their drive around noontime, and they both met me at the car with excitement. They had a new "investment" to show me. We dottered around to the backyard, and John pointed with a smile toward an old, rickety pull trailer with tarps tied over a big bundle of something. With hesitation I asked what was under those tarps.
"Commodes", he said with vigor. "Son, I've bought 20 commodes. I found a great deal, and cleared them out. I figure I can make back my investment when I sell the first one. Then, I'm going to make a lot of money."
Did I tell you John is eccentric?
It seems he found a geriatric home that was clearing out it's portable toilets, and walkers, and so he struck up a deal with the proprieter. I think he and mom intend to have a yard sale, and line these things along the street with "For Sale" signs on the lids. I'll be sure to find some reason to not be able to help.
But you know, these two newlyweds are doing fine. They got out of the hospital a few days ago, and proceeded to go to the Bingo Hall that night. John signed up for a cell phone, and after about a month he has decided he does not need it. He does not comprehend he is committed to a 2-year contract. So he enjoys bickering with the collectors who call on the phone. He asked one to please give him their address. When the guy asked why, he said because he wanted to go over there and knock his head off. The collector hung up. I laughed as he told me the story, thinking about this little-old man, who can barely walk, fulfilling such a bold threat.
He gives my mom everything she wants. He refuses to argue with her. He treats her like a queen. So, in my book, he can be as eccentric as he would like.
I'll tell you more tomorrow.
09.04.06 (9:09 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
spook102956 (
reply)
post date:
09.04.06 (6:27 pm)
Who knows? Maybe they will do well with their sale. I think your statement that he treats her like a queen says it all. When my dad remarried after my mom died, he's been a widower for 4 years. Some people seemed to think I should be upset that he was remarrying, but I was (and am) very happy for him. She's a jewel. I know my mom would want him to be happy and he is.
posted by:
babe4jesus55 (
reply)
post date:
09.04.06 (8:09 pm)
My grandparents are starting to go a little crazy. I love 'em but golly, they sure can be strange. I wouldn't have them any other way though, because when I get old whether I truly am crazy or not I want to be the crazy old lady at the end of the street. *BWAHAHAHA* :-D
posted by:
inkspector (
reply)
post date:
09.04.06 (8:38 pm)
That is a darling story. I am glad they both seem to be doing well for people that age. Blessings to them both.
posted by:
seochris (
reply)
post date:
09.04.06 (9:45 pm)
Hi this is seochris Pastor. Seems you hate John very much, the way u have accused him of being eccentric.
You know everyone has his own personal choice. Its their way of life which I feel should be left to themselves to enjoy . It would be great if someone appeciates age old people.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.04.06 (10:01 pm)
Reply to: LadyG
Who knows....
I remember when I lived in Michigan, many years ago. My mom came up for an extended visit. We traveled about 6 hours across Canada to see Niagara Falls. Along the way she wanted us to stop at a yard sale, and there she bought two big plastic horses, about a foot tall each. She carried them home on the plane. Later, she sold them at a yard sale, and made a good profit. I have to say, she knows a bargain when she sees it. So, they will probably make good money with their toilets.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.04.06 (10:04 pm)
Reply to: spook102956
I know it is tough on some children for their parent(s) to remarry. But if love involves unselfishness, which I think by its very definition it does, then we should want what is best for the other person. Having companionship and someone close with which to share life is good. I'm glad you understand and appreciate such for your dad.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.04.06 (10:05 pm)
Reply to: godsmack
Growing old does not have to be so bad. My mom has never really seemed happy, until the last couple of years. She's happier at 87 than she was 40 years ago.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.04.06 (10:07 pm)
Reply to: babe4jesus55
Don't you think that old people have the approach to life that they can basically say/do just about anything they want without fear of social disapproval, basically because they are elderly and don't care?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.04.06 (10:08 pm)
Reply to: inkspector
Thank you. I'm blessed to still have my mom at her age, and especially for her to be so active. It's a gift.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.04.06 (10:11 pm)
Reply to: seochris
I'm going to guess that maybe you've unintentionally chosen the wrong word in describing my opinion of John. Of course I do not "hate" him. No matter how strange may be the behavior of another, and even if I very much disapprove of that person's actions, I do not "hate" him. Actually I like John, more so as I have spent a bit of time with him and have gotten to know him. I'm not so much laughing at him, at least not in a condescending way, but admiring that he could be so creative and free with his ways. I need to be more like him- loosen up a bit, and enjoy life.
posted by:
radiohead (
reply)
post date:
09.05.06 (7:16 am)
Very cool story.
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
09.05.06 (11:45 am)
Maybe he can sell the commodes to the cows from your last entry.
Your mom and her hubby sound like a hoot to be around.
posted by:
lorischuster (
reply)
post date:
09.05.06 (4:22 pm)
This was hysterical. I hope that when I am 87 I'm just able to get up and use a toilet. I'm sure that you and your sibling(s) never lack for conversation. Great story.
posted by:
babe4jesus55 (
reply)
post date:
09.05.06 (4:25 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Yes, you are exactly right and I plan to be just like that! "I'm OLD! Leave me alone; I can do whatever I want!"
posted by:
FinalyFree (
reply)
post date:
09.11.06 (8:11 pm)
I wish you'd post a pic of them, they just sound absolutely adorable. And how wonderful to be this happy at a point in life when so many people are sick and unhappy. I'd love to hear even more of their adventures :)
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
09.12.06 (12:59 pm)
PD, tonight, when you go to bed, tell God thank you. you made me both laugh and cry today. I desperately needed to do both.
dawn
