Dr. Phil's House Of Hatred
I like to watch the Dr. Phil Show.
It is on the television at 5 p.m., and I will catch it most days after my wife has had her thirty minutes of Judge Judy. She loves to see Judge Judy "let 'em have it" as she says. And the good lady does have a way of encountering a defendent of the smug and cocky variety- usually men- and systematically removing every facade of confidence and dignity. I think she is a bit mouthy, but my wife would love for our teenage daughter to stand before her. She even contacted the show one time!
Dr. Phil seems like an o.k. kind of guy. And I know a bit about counsellors, since we have been through years of family counselling trying to understand and cushion the many falls of our daughter. Dr. Phil makes sense. He can solve great mysteries of behaviour and cronic relationships in a single fifteen minute segment, even allotting for commercials. Not! Even if it appears that way on television.
Recently I've caught onto a series of shows called Dr's Phil's House Of Hatred. He has equipped a large home with all kinds of snooping devices, and invited some interesting individuals to live there for a while. The show is about them learning to adjust- changes of attitude as they learn to accept and appreciate each other.
Here's the residents:
Young man, extremely overweight and obviously lazy. He purports to hate skinny people.
Young lady, petite and outspoken. She absolutely detests fat people. They make her sick.
Middle-aged black lady, bitter and mouthy. She hate white people.
Middle-aged white man, tattooed and red-neck, a white supremacist who hates blacks.
Young lady, overweight and quiet and sensitive. She is gay, and hates straight people.
Young lady, overweight and rather definite with her statements. She considers gays to be disgusting and sinful.
The final show will be a week from Monday. I know what will happen: Through the wisdom of Dr. Phil and the embedded goodness in the hearts of these people, they will all come to love and accept one another. They will have happy reunions, and sing Kum-Ba-Ya. or, something like that.
This set me to thinking: If Dr. Phil (or Dr. Jesus) were to lock me up in my own personal "House Of Hatred", who would be my roomates?
Now I will not admit to hating anyone; hatred includes a malevolent intent toward the other person, and there is no one I want to bring harm toward. But there are certainly types of people that I have a hard time liking. There are personalities that I want to stay away from, that I would absolutely hate to be locked up in a house with. I can point out all kinds of imperfections in these people. And when I allow myself to do so, I can rather eloquently speak of their foibles. But I also know, when I allow myself to be honest, that the problem I have with these people is likely as much a problem of my heart as anything that is truly wrong with them.
Along the way in the next few days, I will tell you the residents in PastorDave's House Of Hatred.
How about yourself? Let's take off our facades - religious, social, etc.- and be honest for a bit. All of us have persons we have trouble liking. And, they need not be ax murderers or politicians. Here's the assignment: Describe three residents in your own personal House Of Hatred.
11.03.06 (7:17 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
11.03.06 (5:31 pm)
The first resident would have to be my sister. She is a beautiful and intelligent woman who, after 50, give or take, years of my standing beside, beneath, in back, in front of to defend and protect her says I am a lousy sister.
The next would have to be my husband's EVIL mother. I did invite her to live in our home...biggest mistake of my life...she made my husband and my life miserable with her constant barage of negativity and manipulation and two-faced behaviour. My pastor assured me that yes, there really are EVIL people, just like there are angels posing as people.
Third, hmmmm...i will have to contemplate and get back with you. xoxoxox
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.03.06 (5:42 pm)
Reply to: mimi
Sounds like you already have a full house. You are to be commended for taking care of your mother-in-law even with her shortcomings. Loving action in the face of such lack of appreciation, I think, is a sign of true character.
There are truly evil people. For many, though, their mean behviour is but a halloween costume to hide their insecurity and sadness. I wish for enough love to be patient with such people, to hold back of "letting 'em have it" with both barrels. I have not been very good at such, although the last few years I've grown quite a bit.
Thanks, my friend. By the way, your new "avatar" is great. Put that on MySpace, and you'll have all kinds of guys hitting on you. It's safer here on t-blog!
posted by:
TheRockSays (
reply)
post date:
11.03.06 (7:46 pm)
Reply to: mimi
Wow, Mi, it's a pity all these people are quite literally so close to home. My sister makes the short list, too. In fact, I
was locked up w/her a couple of months ago. I thought that since it was so very long since she was a teen, and I'd even done her a few small favours over the years, I thought she might have gotten over that enourmous disgust she had for me when I was going through a hard time, and not going very far in life, all those years ago. Well, the attitude she had that week on our vacation with the rest of our family made it pretty clear that I'd not gotten as far as I'd thought w/her. My favourite moment was when she said "I'm not going to argue w/you, TheRockSays, just do it!" *splutter* I don't take orders from you!
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
11.03.06 (8:29 pm)
Reply to: TheRockSays
well, how do you do? : ) I don't believe we have met yet, but considering where we have crossed paths, i consider it a compliment that you commented and seeing that we have "this" in common, i look forward to hearing more from you....welcome to my world, Rock : )
posted by:
seochris (
reply)
post date:
11.03.06 (10:49 pm)
ok I feel some of my friends who know me to a greater extent would be my ideal partners. In fact surprisingly I can adjust to many circumstances. But I can't tolerate the following:
1. If the person is too dark and fully tatooed with lots of noice.
2. Disorganised people throwing things anywhere and depending on people to find them the basic needs.
3. Very tall and dark people over 6.2 ft
4. The "too religious hypocries like me" We may truly repel each other.
Thats as of now. May add or remove more in the coming years.
Thanx for the beautiful thought.
posted by:
Christine @ swanktrendz (
reply)
post date:
11.04.06 (12:11 am)
'... and sing Kum-Ba-Ya. or, something like that...'
Thanks Pastor Dave - you actually had me laugh out loud at that sentence (and a couple before it). Such a serious topic, yet with tongue-in-cheek observations.
I had to think long and hard about this topic. Can't really think of anyone I would feel that strongly about... until that exact thought
feel that strongly about...
I can't handle people who are so determined to believe that their way of thinking is the ONLY or RIGHT way, to the extreme where they insist on having everyone (especially their children) agree with them - no arguments to the contrary. Even if there is proof that contradicts their statement, they insist it is their way or they shut down and/or look the other way.
I had an encounter with a parent whose son was extremely disrespectful to everyone, but especially to women. While I was attempting to address the child's behaviour, this man proceeded to not only validate/encourage his son's behaviour, but even went so far as tell me (whilst I was 6 months pregnant!) that I was in no position to discuss children's behaviour given that I was obviously a bad mother who 'should not be allowed to reproduce' (I kid you not)! I was a 'bad mother' because I worked/ had a career, and I obviously had loose morals as my firstborn was from a prior marriage.
At first I thought his remarks were distasteful/bad/vulgar attempts at humour, until I realized he was very serious. His son was present during the 'discussion' (?), savouring every sentence with smug satisfaction. (This boy was only 10 years old, and actually had nuggets of decency in his heart, that would appear every so often.)
After 10 minutes of his verbal abuse, I asked him to leave (which he refused, still ranting without missing a beat). I simply walked out of the office, and his response was to file a formal complaint against me and my lack of 'professionalism'.
Yes, although this happened years ago, the fervour with which he delivered his hateful spiel is still fresh in my mind. Nothing would/could persuade this man to believe otherwise.
What on earth could have happened to someone to make them so hateful of women?
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
11.04.06 (10:57 am)
I can't think of any specific, real people I'm acquainted with for my personal house of horror. And I hate to stereotype people, but believe me, just about anyone ever on one of these so-called reality shows would get on my last nerve.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.05.06 (5:59 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
Reality shows? I do not watch them very often. But, let's see if I can choose for you some roommates for your House of Hatred:
(1) Gay guy who sat around on an island, naked, and won the competition.
(2) William Hung
(3) Some blond who ate a bowl of live eels to win $25,000.
That should make for a week of interesting social interaction.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.05.06 (6:04 pm)
Reply to: Lezah
A sad excuse for a human being is what you have described. Rather than address the issue at hand, he proceeded to attack you. Looking back, it probably would have been the ultimate victory to have allowed him to rant a bit, then look him in the eye and say "I feel so very sorry for your child." He would probably ask why, to which you would respond, "Because, most likely, he will grow up to be like you."
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.05.06 (6:08 pm)
Reply to: seochris
The dark and tattooed guy, and the tall and dark person, you could probably learn to like once you get beyond surface appearances. For me, appearance rarely rattles me, except when it is a truly beautiful woman who is showing me too much attention. Makes me nervous, and doesn't happen very often.
You make an interesting point about how we tend to dislike persons who are in reality much like ourselves. Religious hypocrites? I don't like them either.
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
11.05.06 (6:22 pm)
ewww PD!! my family actually READS my blogs ya know...as in all families, there are things i absolutely DESPISE about each individual person. and there are things that I am absolutely crazy about in each person. they could ALL be on my list, or not, as it were.
the only ones for sure that wouldn't be on the list is the kidlets. them i love whenever, wherever, and cannot get enough. well, that is not PRECISELY true, on a bad day....ya know.
dawn
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.05.06 (6:29 pm)
Reply to: fractalmom
Let me populate a HOH for you:
(1) Ex- husband or boyfriend
(2) Snooty lawyer, full of himself and disdainful toward you
(3) Baptist preacher
posted by:
doeeyed (
reply)
post date:
11.06.06 (8:07 am)
(1) People who toot their own horn..grrr
(2) Liars, which usually fall into the #1 group
(3) People who demean and or abuse anyone.
(4)Yes there's a fourth...
People who feel sorry for themselves and blame everything that's wrong in their life on others.
So there! You made me say it!!
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
11.06.06 (11:26 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
Oh, I refuse to watch any reality shows. I think many people watch to feel better about themselves because they see they're not as pathetic as the people on such shows!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.06.06 (12:26 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
And, I was wondering why I so enjoy watching Dr. Phil.
It is actually a quality show when compared with some of the truly pathetic reality shows. Take the Jerry Springer Show, for instance.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.06.06 (12:28 pm)
Reply to: doeeyed
Why is it, when I interact with you on t-blog, I seem to get this urge for a rotisserie chicken?
posted by:
doeeyed (
reply)
post date:
11.06.06 (12:32 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
bock, bock...
I have no *bock* idea.
PS actually it's a turkey *gobble*
posted by:
christine@swanktrendz (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (3:09 am)
allowed him to rant a bit, then look him in the eye and say "I feel so very sorry for your child." He would probably ask why, to which you would respond, "Because, most likely, he will grow up to be like you.Sadly, this fellow would have taken that as the ultimate compliment; as well his son was present and, at that moment in time, had a shred of decency and that comment may have been understood for what it trul was.
I know what you mean about the cramped together title boxes on my home page - I have no idea why the template does that. (Ha! And you had me laugh with the comment about your eyes - I can't read it myself and it's our page, oh dear.)
