How Not To Deal With A Capital One Bill Collector
I usually have a good bit of patience with phone solicitors. I know they are simply tring to make a living, and I know they encounter lots of verbal abuse.
Did I tell you our caller ID is broken?
About 7 p.m. the phone rang. I figured it was the governor calling again. Through the magic of a digital recording, he would again be asking for my vote. I was not overly impressed, because I had also fielded like calls from his opponent, and his opponents mother, and his opponent's cellmate while in prison.
Hello?
"Hello Mr. PastorDave, this is James with CapitalOne.."
<Click>
I figure I am not being rude when I hang up. The solicitor is looking for someone with an interest in his product. I had a Capital One card many years ago. It left me very unhappy. I now wish for all their employees the fleas of a thousand camels to infest their armpits.
Phone rings again
"This is Capital One. May I speak to Debbie PastorDave (my wife)?"
I hand her the phone. The spiehl is begun anew.
<Click> She hangs up in the midst.
Phone rings again
"This is James with Capital One. When are you going to pay your debt of $1572?"
What?
"This is the home of Debbie PastorDave?"
Yes.
"She owes us $1572."
We do not even own a Capital One account!
"Do you reside at blah blah blah in Clairmont California?"
Do I sound like I live in California?
"Is your wife's social security # blah blah blah"
Do you think I would give you my wife's social security number? The answer is no.
<Click>
Obviously he was pursuing the wrong person.
Ring
Hello
"When are you going to pay us $1572?"
(Warning: If you are easily offended by nasty language, or you may choose to worship Satan when I prove to you that I am much less than perfect, then read no further.)
Let me tell you something you #1$#@*. And why don't you take your Capital One Visa and stick it @#%$&^*? And while you are at it, kiss my &*$^@$)!.
<Click>
Ring
Hello
"Do you kiss your wife with the same-"
You called me back, you *&^$&*(%&#$&a mp;#@#. I'd like to reach my hands through this phone and ^&*(%#@*&_
<Click> This time from the other end of the line.
I know about turning the other cheek.
And it has been a very long time since I have experienced a complete breakdown such as this.
I do not recommend such behaviour to others.
It's not good.
I really should feel very bad about such obvious moral weakness.
But, right now, I've got to do a Google Search for the location of the Capital One Collections Headquarters. And a plane ticket to buy. There's a guy named James that I would like to meet.
11.07.06 (7:45 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
11.07.06 (5:03 pm)
OMG! PDave has a TEMPER! I would call that a "MiMi Moment"! LOL! Seems these last few years I have "anger issues" and sumpin' like that just jerks my chain, big time! You go, Pdave! Let'im have it!
posted by:
inkspector (
reply)
post date:
11.07.06 (6:10 pm)
Gee, Did he really think he was calling CA when he dialed the area code of your state?
You can always get a free credit report to make sure this is NOT on your report. If it is, the credit bureau investigates for free and it is removed. You better check it out or you could be getting more calls on other unpaid debts by this character.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.07.06 (6:42 pm)
Reply to: mimi
Experiences like this come along, I'm glad to say infrequently, to remind me I've a long ways to go to be the person I want to be. This guy highly irritated me. He had the wrong person, and he kept being so insistant and demanding. No need for that, I think.
Oh well. You do believe I am not a violent person. Right? Mimi?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.07.06 (6:44 pm)
Reply to: inkspector
What these guys do is allow a computer to dial numbers. Then when you or I answer, then they come onto the phone with their spiehl. Neither my wife nor I have an account with this company. We owe them nothing. This guy was not interested in listening, just collecting. I feel sorry for him for having to work such a lousy job, but what he needs to do is go find another job.
Thanks for the advice. Specifically, we will check my wife's credit.
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
11.07.06 (7:09 pm)
Better make sure the SS number ISN'T yours or hers... might be a screw up that could mess up your credit. Aren't they pleasant?
posted by:
FinalyFree (
reply)
post date:
11.07.06 (7:22 pm)
I think Jesus himself would have a tough time dealing with some of these solicitors! I mean how much are we supposed to take? Don't be too hard on yourself, I think you were perfectly justified.
posted by:
seochris (
reply)
post date:
11.07.06 (8:06 pm)
That was a bit of harrasment involved. No doubt abt it. Lets forget the issue.
posted by:
sudeshpoojari (
reply)
post date:
11.07.06 (8:18 pm)
anyway's did u found out where is $1,572 gone
hahahaha
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (6:29 am)
Reply to: surrogate
He probably goes through the same aggressive conversation hundreds of times per day, so the conversation is basically depersonalized. He just wants to meet a quota of appropriate responses from folks like myself. It's a bad, bad job.
I hope, soon, we will be able to conduct business with banks and other financial institutions without using the Social Security number for ID.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (6:31 am)
Reply to: FinalyFree
I'm considering who, in connection with the life of Jesus, would be the equivalent of a phone solicitor/collector? I guess the Pharisees who were always trying to trap him in a mistake. They were not interested in the truth. They weren't interested in relationship. They just wanted to manipulate him into performing to their intentions.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (6:33 am)
Reply to: seochris
Forget it? Good advice.
Actually I'll try to learn from it. Next time, I'll consider the intention of this person, and try to keep my emotions from controlling my response.
It most likely will not work.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (6:36 am)
Reply to: sudeshpoojari
Hey, I could truly use the $1572. There's a Pocket PC and related software I have my eye on. And a Health Club Membership. And, a jazz restaurant I'd like to splurge and take my wife to. And, I'd like to take my College daughter to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show. And, an older couple who is struggling and could use a few bucks. And I'd rather spend it on any of those issues, and countless others, than give it to Capital One.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (6:42 am)
Reply to: breakouttheglass
Yeah, I can relate. Cell phone bills are notorious for being incorrect, almost always in the phone company's favor. What they like to do with me is automatically renew my contract, even though my two-year commitment is over and it is supposed to be month-to-month. And the renewal has all kinds of incidental fees and charges. We'll discuss it, sometimes passionately, and then they drop the charges. Until next time. And, same with DSL service for my computer.
Sometimes, in the heated reply when I feel I'm being treated unfairly by some mega-company, I'll tell the little guy on the phone, "This is nothing personal towards you. I understand, you simply work for these people. My problem is with your company, not you." They usually appreciate that statement.
Usually, finally, some nice supervisor comes onto the phone who can actually make decisions and has the desire to help the customer. Too bad you have to spend an hour, and re-tell your story to at least a half-dozen people.
posted by:
FinalyFree (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (8:57 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
I would agree and add that the Pharisees also were very self-righteous (notice the attitudes with some of these solicitors?) and they were bullies (again, like the phone nazis). Goes to prove there's always a bad apple in the bunch!
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (11:35 am)
Letting off steam is necessary sometimes with persistent people when you know they're wrong.
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (5:24 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
No kidding. I refuse to give mine out unless I absolutely have to, but I think I meant to suggest that he give YOU, for instance, the last four digits of the SS number on the account just to see if it's either yours or Mrs. Pastor Daves. If it is? You really don't have any choice but to follow up on the damn thing or it just might mess you up.
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (7:39 pm)
and yes, i do know in my heart of hearts that you are not a violent person...just had to let you hang out a bit before admiting it : )
xoxoxo
posted by:
babe4jesus55 (
reply)
post date:
11.08.06 (9:15 pm)
I LOVE playing with the phone solicitors! I'll speak Spanish to the English ones, and English to the Spanish ones. Other times I'll act really interested, then interupt their spill talking about something random, like how ponies fly really well or ask some deep sounding question of them and then when they go, "uhhh..." I'll go on and on about what I think the answer is. I yelled, "OH MY GOSH, MY TOAST IS BURNING!!!" at one once. That was awesome. hehe. Solicitors are so much fun!
posted by:
lorischuster (
reply)
post date:
11.09.06 (9:18 am)
Abrasive people generally require an abrasive response...it's all they can relate to. Didn't Jesus lose his temper with the money lenders? I know it was more about the temple...but still. One day I will relate my story about Ameriquest Mortgage--fleas of a thousand camels are much too good for them...but it's a swell description. :) I always liked the Seinfeld approach...when the salesman called Seinfed said he couldn't talk right now, but, give me your home phone number and I'll call you back later...
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.13.06 (6:55 am)
Reply to: bawdy
Yep. Especially persistent people who do not listen. Now, what did you say?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.13.06 (6:58 am)
Reply to: breakouttheglass
I do not understand the business rationale of such companies. They will spend lots and lots of money attracting a customer, and then treat him like crap with seemingly no concern about keeping that customer happy and paying for the services. It's as if there's a competition going between Sales and Customer Service to see who can mess-up the other.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.13.06 (7:00 am)
Reply to: babe4jesus55
You are baaad.
It's fun to mess around with them, but not so fun when they decide to arbitrarily ruin your credit. Dante's Inferno surely has a special place for such people.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.13.06 (7:01 am)
Reply to: lorischuster
Would like to hear the Ameriquest story sometime. Can't be too much worse than Capital One, a real stinker of a company.
