Tough Time To Be Thankful
Sometimes I get to thinking, “Life is just too tough. This is not a good time to be thankful.” But I have come to realize, through experience, that out of the tough times of today emerge the very reasons to be thankful tomorrow.
My little Skylar is an example. She is working on nine months of age now. I have watched as her personality is emerging. Of course she is inquisitive. She loves our dogs, although they at best tolerate her. And she loves her Grandpa. Most every evening we read books together and play on the floor. This morning as I was dashing out the door, she wanted me to hold her. And, of course, she won that battle for my time. It is hard for me now to fathom, but a year ago I so dreaded her emergence. My daughter was pregnant without marriage, and I knew this child would be such a drag upon me and such a reminder to all of the whole unhappy matter. But now I thank God, everyday, for this burst of joy within my life. She is such a gift. My life is so much more complete because of her. I tear up even as I write these words.
Last night at church I asked those present to express some quick words of thanksgiving. Clint spoke up, a middle-aged man who became a part of our congregation a few years ago. He’s the one who led me on a mountain hike that almost crippled me for life! Clint does not usually have much to say, but at this moment he was quite eloquent: “You folks may or may not know….I know Pastor Dave does…that I have been married 3 times. The first two did not work out. I tried to do it my way, and I messed up. Then I decided to do it God’s way. About a year ago, I married Jenny. She has been so good to me, and I love her so much. I want you folks to know I thank God for my wife.” This man is quite sincere with this matter. He adores his wife, and she does him, also. When he made the statement I received it somewhat stoically. Now I realize how tender was his words of thanksgiving.
We’ve all had tough times. Most likely, they are the very building blocks upon which to be thankful, tomorrow.
I Thessalonians 5:18 (MSG)
18 thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.
11.20.06 (10:55 am) [
edit]
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
11.20.06 (9:26 am)
you know. there are just times when you hit it right on the head. for all my complaining and humor about the situation, i would be LOST totally without my Skyler and her sister. when my S joined our family, they were married and it was a joyful occasion. then, she almost died. then her mom became hooked on drugs. then her dad started dealing them and also became hooked. yet, through it all, even after the baby was born and she was born addicted to heroin, the kids got me through. I think sometimes it was the Lord's way of letting me know that it wasn't MY fault my daughter made bad choices. that He was rewarding Dave and I with the sweetest grandbabies this world has ever seen !!
maybe, just maybe (and you'd best write down this date) i am right, and HE also rewarded you and your wife with your Skylar, to let YOU know that it wasn't YOU and HER that made bad choices, it was your daughter..and that even bad choices can result in blessings.
the Peace of the Lord be with you always
dawn
posted by:
VOR (
reply)
post date:
11.20.06 (10:18 am)
Thank you for your post. My wife and I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and an 8 month old daughter. Every morning I look at them and know exactly what God wants me to do with my life.
Good bless!
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
11.20.06 (11:48 am)
Sage words, PastorDave. Happy Thanksgiving to all Americans here.
posted by:
lorischuster (
reply)
post date:
11.20.06 (4:02 pm)
Every time I see her picture at the top of your blog, I have to smile. What a cutie...how could you not melt at the sight of that smile? So much to be thankful for...generally found in little things and quiet moments. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.20.06 (5:57 pm)
Reply to: lorischuster
Little things...quiet moments...relationships. Thanksgiving really becomes easy when I look beyond self. In any direction I find so much for which to give gratitude.
You have a great Thanksgiving, too.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.20.06 (5:59 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
You remind me that Thanksgiving, at least the holiday celebrated late November, is an American holiday. It just seems to me all people, worldwide, would set aside a time to do the same. Probably, were I to study the matter, I'd find they do. I wonder what would take the place of the turkey in, say, India?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.20.06 (6:01 pm)
Reply to: VOR
You are wise.
Those children deserve your very best, which includes your time. I was too immature, too focused upon self, to enjoy my children as I should. And, I'll make up for it with my grandchildren!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.20.06 (6:07 pm)
Reply to: fractalmom
I'm a believer, now much more so, in the truism of Romans 8:28, "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord...". Skylar is my testimony to this goodness. Often I have seen situations similar to yours and mine, and have thought that it is not fair for grandparents to have to raise the offspring of their irresponsible children. But I never thought to ask those grandparents. Most seem quite willing, even joyful in the process.
Several years ago I knew a lady, probably 80 years of age, who was raising a grandson maybe 9 years of age. Debbie and I became rather attached to the little boy, and offered to adopt him. This lady, of meager means and poor health, would not consider the offer- she so loved and enjoyed the little boy. Now I understand her feelings.
posted by:
akelso (
reply)
post date:
11.20.06 (6:26 pm)
PastorDave, I've often kvetched about how lousy were both my parents at seeing me - knowing anything about who I was ever, or about my needs as a human being. They were both so much more indulgent in each *their* own needs, their own personalities, their own values ...
You know though, I can honestly and deeply say "thank you" to God and the great beyond (where both my parents now reside I'm certain.) My parents were horribly self-centered - both of them; yet the good news is, they were also each incredibly interesting! Further, overall, God preserved me from the worst - in that they were each reckless as parents and worse incompetent. But, my mother was profoundly intelligent and taught me all she could about politics, social justice and feminist autonomy in this world. My father was a mystic, a marvelous musician, and philosopher - more everyone who ever met him absolutely loved talking with him (for hours on end ...)
I'm grateful for all the reasons I loved my parents. I don't even mind believing I adored them way more than they could imagine, and way, way more than I think they even liked me.
posted by:
spook102956 (
reply)
post date:
11.20.06 (7:37 pm)
Thanks for the uplift. I've been stewing all night about something I heard that my mother-in-law said about me and whether or not I should tell her I didn't appreciate it. You made me see things in a different light. I know she says things in her old age that she would not have said when she was younger, but it's getting hard to bite my tongue. Your blog has helped me remember the good in her, which is alot, actually. Thanks.
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
11.21.06 (4:00 am)
Dave and all, God, I believe, gives us grand children so we can all try to do better with them than we did with our own. When we have our own, we are trying so hard to be the best parent/spouse and provider that we have no time and we are still growing up, admitedly or not, so we fail miserably, at being the best anything...God gave babies Grandparents to protect them from their own parents : ) We are the balance of the world..not just old folks...
P.S. Of course, I am grateful for lots of things this Thanksgiving, April being the obvious, but I am truly grateful for this community of people I have been blessed to become a part of...you all have helped me by listening, immeasurably...
xoxoxo
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
11.21.06 (10:45 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
We do have Thanksgiving in Canada, only in October. It's not as good as yours though because the football games are CFL, not NFL.
posted by:
FinalyFree (
reply)
post date:
11.21.06 (10:58 am)
Thank you Pastor for another wonderful post!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours :)
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.21.06 (12:33 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
It will be a good Thanksgiving. Mom and her new husband are coming over; we will all get together at my brother's house. This will be Skylar's first.
Have a great holiday.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.21.06 (12:48 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
CFL? Long ago, I enjoyed watching CFL football- lots fast than NFL. In my opinion, NFL is now so violent I do not enjoy. College football is much more entertaining.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.21.06 (12:50 pm)
Reply to: mimi
Good insight- grandparents are the buffers between grandchildren and their ignorant parents. It's because we've been there, done that.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.21.06 (12:53 pm)
Reply to: spook102956
Very kind of you to say. When we can get to the point of truly being able to say, "I'm thankful for my Mother-In-Law", then we're ready for sainthood, or maybe transport on into heaven. I'm working on it. Just give me another century or so.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.21.06 (12:56 pm)
Reply to: akelso
You've wisely moved beyond the mistakes of your parents, and their fragile humanity, and come to see & appreciate what was good about them. Many come to this point- too late, I'm afraid. It's interesting how many of us are so very willing to allow everybody else to just be human and imperfect- except those closest to us.
posted by:
akelso (
reply)
post date:
11.21.06 (1:35 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Sorry to say there's absolutely no wisdom as you suggest, "in time" for either of them to be engaged on this. One of the miracles of life, though, is the reality that our relationships do (I believe) continue beyond the grave. Even when we are separated by the grave...
posted by:
FinalyFree (
reply)
post date:
11.22.06 (9:46 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
I'm so excited about the thought of having a baby in the house for the holidays. This time next year we'll have a 6 month old to join us! I'm sure Skylar will have a wonderful first Thanksgiving :)
posted by:
laydeepulse (
reply)
post date:
11.23.06 (1:23 am)
:-) my sister is 6 months pregnant with her second, we found out it is a girl. i am incredably excited :-)
what i am thankful for:
*the new baby
*im starting to feel better (health)*knock on wood*
* my new uh....boyfriend? he is very special and an amazing friend.
* my sister and i have grown ogether so much in the past 6 months.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
11.23.06 (3:23 am)
Sounds like your sister's pregnancy has brought you guys closer. That is great. May you enjoy your Thanksgiving Day, however you choose to spend it.
