And, The Very-Bad-Acting Award Goes To........
The most poorly acted, unintentionally humorous, dramatic character on television today?
My vote goes to Agent Horatio Crane of CSI Miami.
He is played by David Caruso. I watched Caruso on NYPD Blue, and he was good. What happened?
There is much about the show that is not good. Emily Procter is so very pretty, but she mumbles her words; who can understand what she is saying? The background of many of the shows, with rolling hills, looks a lot like LA and not Miami for obvious reasons. It is all so very bad. It's so bad it is like a train wreck- for some reason, I have to watch it.
I've seen lots of bad acting performances.
Steven Seagall is the king of bad acting.
William Shatner deserves an emmy in the category.
Elvis? He redefined the description.
But, David Caruso in CSI Miami has no close rivals in the category.
It's all connected to his awful sunglasses.
Usually the script will go something like this:
Agent Caruso is standing sideways, legs open like a bull ready to charge.
He is staring off into space, like a drug deranged halfwit.
Anonymous Agent: Agent Caruso, they're escaping on the highway!
Agent Caruso: Short pause. Glances out corner of eye. Then he tilts his head sideways, like a dog. Slowly puts on sunglasses. Not-..... (dramatic pause) if things go my way.
Exits stage right.
This pattern is repeated ad nauseum.
He will make half the statement, then pause for a dramatic eternity, put on his glasses, and finish the sentence. Oh, and he drags out the second word of the last phrase, for added effect.
Was the toilet filled before the flush...(pause. grimace. put on sunglasses. tilt head)...or afterrrrrr, my friend?
And it is so especially irritating how he likes to say "My friend!" when talking with the bad guys.
I'm sure David Caruso has good acting talents. I'm just wondering why none of them are displayed in this particular show. By the way, I watch the show almost every Monday night. It is so very bad that it is entertaining to my small mind.
And that, my friend.... (Glancing out the corner of my eye. Then, tilting head in dog-like fashion...) is strictlyyyyy.....(Puts on sunglasses) my opinion. (Walks away, swinging hips like girdle is too tight).
01.17.07 (11:34 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
swanktrendz (
reply)
post date:
01.17.07 (10:28 pm)
Finally! Someone who shares my feelings about David Caruso's acting - it is stiff, over the top, and downright awful! It's amazing how many arguments I have had with friends who 'love' his character, Horatio. Blech!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.18.07 (4:22 am)
Reply to: swanktrendz
Maybe your friends are laughing at him? He's a charicature. So bad. I know there are people who think this guy is the greatest. But how is a mystery. Such 'fans' deserve an I Love Lucy marathon.
posted by:
yellowsubmarine (
reply)
post date:
01.18.07 (6:45 am)
i so agree! maybe there's some symbolism in him using those glasses like that, but you could make a drinking game out of an episode of csi miami - everytime he does the glasses thing or tilts sideways, take a shot.
if i'm not mistaken, there's a video on youtube or something showing the worst horatio moments ever. if you ever find it, have fun watching it :)
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
01.18.07 (6:55 am)
William Shatner is NOTabad...... acTOR. He......... just.......... needsto...... learn...moreabout...... whentospacehiswords.... or...... whenTOspacethemout?
Oh... sometimes...he...hasinflecTION......PROBlemsTOO... making declartivestatements... into......... questions?
posted by:
heavyarms (
reply)
post date:
01.18.07 (7:59 am)
Don't forget, he always has his hands on his hips. Oh, and that every episode begins (after the opening scene and credits) with Agent Cain at the scene of the crime, standing (with hands on hips), sunglasses on, legs more than shoulder width apart. He casts a sidelong glance at one of his fellow CSI's (or that country bumpkin cop) and utters their name "Eric," "Frank," "Mr. Wolf." Of course, he puts that David Caruso "spin" on the name, so that he SAYS their name, but it is really a question "What have we got here, Frank?" God, I love to watch that show because it is so bad. Watching that show, then going back to the original CSI is like, "Yeah, this is how it's supposed to be."
I came up with a CSI Miami drinking game a while back, I gotta go see if I can dig that up.
William Shatner a bad actor. I bite my thumb at thee, SIR!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.18.07 (7:11 pm)
Reply to: yellowsubmarine
I checked out the video. It is easy to find. There are several websites that detail the bad acting of this man. Watching the video, I am reminded of another extremely annoying aspect of said show: The screaming sound after the intro. It is an annoying cross between a lion and a rock musician. It is highly irritating, a good match for Caruso.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.18.07 (7:13 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
He's bad. I think of so many campy episodes of Star Trek. Then, I remember a show long ago where he played a cop. Consistently bad. Of course, he has made lots of money with his acting. I'd like to be so "bad" with my career!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.18.07 (7:16 pm)
Reply to: heavyarms
What is it about bad acting that makes you have to watch? Plan Nine From Outer Space? I've seen it many times. Ditto for Rocky Horror. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. I Love Lucy. The list is endless. And David Caruso is a consummate bad actor, almost legendary.
Send me a photo of your drinking game, please.
posted by:
swanktrendz (
reply)
post date:
01.18.07 (8:16 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave - Believe it or not, a couple of my friends (though I think I need to reevaluate my friend criteria, lol) think he is incredibly 'sexy'. And they are saying this with a straight face!! I guess I am missing something? (Thankfully)
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
01.19.07 (3:33 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
I think the reason I like him is that he doesn't take himself too seriously - he knows he couldn't act his way out of a paper bag - and, hell, I've grown up watching him. Ever see the old twilight zone episode he starred in? Man, I can't figure out how he ever got another part. It's laugh-out-loud funny, it's so bad. Yet, a couple of years later? -he's Captain Kirk. I think early on he got a hold of pictures of a couple of casting agents making nice-nice with a badger, or something.
Then there's his lounge-singer album... oy. Ya haven't lived till you've heard Shatner sing/speak "Rocket Man." Your sides will ache.
posted by:
thoolou (
reply)
post date:
01.19.07 (7:16 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
If you love Shatlizard, check out Nimoy singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, little planet..." Just wow.
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
01.20.07 (2:42 am)
Reply to: thoolou
Is it so incredibly bad, it's fun? I've heard "of" that, but I've never "heard" it. Maybe I can find it out there on the web. Hmmm. To Google, to Yahoo or to Ask? Decisions, decisions, decisions...
Thanks.
posted by:
lorischuster (
reply)
post date:
01.21.07 (7:49 am)
Now I need to check it out...I've not watched it enough to notice. My nominee is Keanu Reeves...it's like watching cardboard talk.
posted by:
LISA (
reply)
post date:
01.21.07 (8:31 pm)
funny! i think most of the shows on television exhibit either REALLY bad acting, or stupid storylines. i mostly stick to movies and pbs.
posted by:
doeeyed (
reply)
post date:
01.22.07 (6:00 am)
I'm so glad to read this!!
My son and I laugh at CSI Miami every week!
We're always interjecting lines.
"Why...am I standing all alone... in this hallway...
with my sunglasses...on?"
but, like you, we watch it anyway. Go figure?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.22.07 (8:06 pm)
Reply to: lorischuster
He is bad. He deserves a major role on CSI Miami. Guess we will first have to rescue him from the Matrix.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.22.07 (8:09 pm)
Reply to: doeeyed
I watches the show tonight, as I do every week. The opening scene: Here is Frank, and he's just stepped upon a land mine. Frank is frozen in place, sweat pouring down his bald pate. Horatio looks at him and says, with his halting and melodramatic voice, "Don't move, Frank." Yeah, right, sure Frank is going to move! And, of course, as soon as the words are finished it is time for a break. What a funny, funny show.
posted by:
TheUnderking (
reply)
post date:
01.20.08 (8:51 pm)
Lol my feelings exactly, I watch it for the humor of the acting. I wonder if they know how funny they are. I mean for Caruso you could just use a cardboard cut out of him and audio since his facial expression never changes lol.
