Phone Call From Homeland Security

There's nothing like a call from Homeland Security to mess up a good episode of CSI Miami.

The show was in rare form. Transparent plot. Especially bad acting. With his astounding detective skills, Ryan Wolfe found an amazingly obvious clue. Calleigh Duquesne batted her eyes and smiled, which is all she needed to do to gain my attention. Lieutenant Horatio Caine was removing his sunglasses, darting his eyes, and about to mutter another monotone one-liner...when the phone rang. It was a local agent of Homeland Security, with an amazing matter.

It seems that an anonymous "worshiper" from my church had called them with what he/she considered to be a national threat. A stranger was purported to have attended our Sunday morning worship service who uncannily resembled Osama bin laden. He sat in the back of the sanctuary with a suspicious look. And, afterwards, engaged in a conversation with "someone" proclaiming that the 9/11 attacks were really the work of the Russians, not bin laden. This agent spoke with solemnity about how he was not seeking to interfere with our freedom to worship, but only protecting our nation.

I had to shake my head for a moment, to make sure this was not a dream, brought on by too many rice cakes and cheesy detective shows. No, it was real. So I proceeded to explain, hoping to avoid a visit to our next worship service by the FBI.

I am the worship leader of our church, and am quite observant of who is present and what is going on. The "suspect" in question is Connor, a homeless man of the area. I met him the previous week, and we had a pleasant and fascinating conversation. He and I share the same birthday. He is originally from Connecticut, once was married for about six months, and resides in various abandoned structures in the community. He has a long and matted beard and straggly hair. He smells. And he proclaims to have lice and fleas, and I trust him in those matters. Connor cannot complete a sentence without changing the subject at least three times. I am not a psychiatrist, but I'm pretty sure he is both schizophrenic and paranoid. He hears voices, and I was especially interested in his discription of an ongoing battle within of both the good and bad voices.

So, Connor was at church because I invited him. He is welcome anytime. He is filthy and unattractive, and would be an easy target for ridicule and abuse. And in my opinion he is just the person who needs to sit in the midst of all our nice, clean church goers and remind us just who is a child of God. Someone needs to hug his neck, while another shakes his hand and slips him a twenty dollar bill. I do not think Connor gets much love, and that is what we need to be practicing at our church.

I do not know who called Homeland Security about this guy. I am pretty sure they did not make an effort to meet him, or get to know him. He is not a threat, except maybe to ones comfort. I told the agent that I appreciate his diligence, but I'm pretty sure he can close this case.

Phone conversation ended, just as Lieutenant Caine shot the bad guy. I was left to discern just who might have been this villian. Perhaps a church member, with a disapproving scowl, who decided to call Big Brother?

 
01.30.07 (7:43 am)   [edit]


posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (5:54 am)

You'll probably find out who made the call within days. Someone will likely be quite proud of their diligent surveillance and eventually feel the need to tell SOMEONE... at which point, it'll make the rounds, don't you think?

Now you'll probably have to preach a sermon on this crap... bummer. I suggest you bring up the episode of CSI! Whad'ya think? Maybe just read the post verbatim! - But, and this is just my opinion, you might want to edit out the fleas and lice stuff - ya know, especially if he's there.

Man, the things you deal with... Sort of funny, but I'll just bet it's annoying as hell sometimes. At least the guy didn't walk in with a walking stick, donkey and a dialysis machine.


posted by: doeeyed (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (6:05 am)

OK, enough with Calleigh Duquesne. (is that really how you spell her name?)


posted by: intricategirl (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (6:14 am)

Wow. So let me get this straight. Homeland Security thought that Osama himself had snuck into the country and made a beeline for a back pew in a church? I'd really like some of my tax dollars back, since they aren't using it for anything. :)

I don't know you at all, but I'm going to say it anyway- you're a good man. Everyone needs to remember that Connor is just as much a human as they are, and it's sad that he isn't treated better. So, good for you for helping people remember that.


posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (6:31 am)

I can only pretend to be shocked. Recently when our pastor was out of town he arranged for a friend of his to do the Morning Worship service. This friend is a lay speaker who uses an unorthodoxed way to bring his message. He shows up at church, dirty, dressed badly, un-kept and overall suspicious. He wanders around the church prior to the service. Naturally a lot of church members are concerned, some even afraid. Some stalk him to make sure he's not 'bothering' anything. He doesn't make an appearance until it's time for him to speak. I don't think I have to elaborate on what his message is. When he came to our church my own Dad was one of the first to draw attention to the 'stranger'. One church member was so outraged by the 'stunt' she saw fit to accost our Pastor and curse him the following Monday in his office!

We all know that in this day and time we have to be on a high alert status most all of the time, even at church. But have we lost sight of why we're at church to begin with? I'd say yes. I've thought for years that most every organized church would not be very accepting of Jesus Christ himself if he walked in one Sunday.

I say kudos to you Pastor for inviting Connor and for reminding all us so-called Christians what the real intent of worship is :)


posted by: katiespinkshoes (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (7:13 am)

Wow. I was getting sicker and sicker while reading your post. It is so sad that that poor man was treated that way. I bet you're tempted to bring it up at church, aren't you?

I commend you for posting what happened on here, considering how many people who are hostile to Christianity are t-bloggers.

What do you think you'll do about it?


posted by: LadyG (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (8:29 am)

Pastor Dave, I commend you for being the kind of leader not afread to both preach and teach the gospel but also practice what you preach.


posted by: bawdy (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (12:00 pm)

Can I just wave to Connor rather than shake hands? It's that fleas and lice bit, ya know?


posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (2:19 pm)

Reply to: bawdy
I understand, for most of history, a particular variety of fleas fond of humans were a common part of life. Human fleas. So, this guy is just your average person, with fleas of course.



posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (2:24 pm)

Reply to: katiespinkshoes
Some of our fellow bloggers are hostile to Christianity, but not many. I briefly viewed a post last night by a guy that was saying some very unkind things about Jesus, and basically trying his best to be offensive. My response- to write nothing on his blog- and to make a habit of not reading his blog again. I don't mind discussing issues and even disagreeing, but I don't like for someone to intentionally and unnecessarily seek to offend me.



posted by: katiespinkshoes (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (2:34 pm)

Reply to: PastorDave
I was telling my husband about your post and it led us to discuss whether this kind of thing would happen at our church. While we both would like to think that it wouldn't, upon closer inspection, we both agreed that it probably would.

He wanted me to thank you for posting about it and bringing it to our attention so that we could discuss it.



posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (2:45 pm)

Reply to: LadyG
It's a challenge, sometimes, to be Christlike to some who are on the fringes of society. I know it is not good for this guy to be sleeping in an abandoned building, especially when the nights are so cold. But it has been his habit for over ten years. Help has been arranged and offered, but he prefers his current lifestyle. He dredges for food out of dumpsters. He rides his bicycle along busy and dangerous highways. He is most likely unhealthy because of his hygiene. He is mentally ill, but our society allows him freedom of choice. Most likely our society as a whole should do what is necessary to place such a person into a safer environment, even against his stated will. I can help him a bit. And, my church needs to find a way to recognize his inherent dignity as a child of God. This guy, and others similar, are far too invisible to most people. I'm afraid, at this point, the part of the Christian church that I hang out with is as much a part of the problem as the solution.



posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (2:50 pm)

Reply to: FinalyFree
I've heard of this type of ministry/proclamation. I think I like your pastor, and I also think he should keep all of his shipping boxes handy for the next move.

This lady who cursed at him is blind, and to be pitied. I hope your pastor found the strength, at that moment, to simply look at her with pity and say nothing. Fools do not handle such dignity very well.



posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (2:54 pm)

Reply to: intricategirl
Very kind of you.
I think it is possible for a radical to enter into a church and do something dangerous. It happens, and so homeland security has an interest. What I do not like is for this person to report the incident to a governmental agency without talking with myself and the church leadership about it. Such reveals not only ignorance, but lack of respect. And of course, to not attempt to understand this man better, shows a lack of Christ's compassion. Such bothers me the most.



posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (2:56 pm)

Reply to: doeeyed
I do not know how to spell her name. But I can do a good job of descibing her appearance. She is highly attactive....in an artistic way, of course.



posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (3:02 pm)

Reply to: surrogate
Long ago I made a conscious choice to cease being disgusted with such obvious weakness of the church. Otherwise I would have to quit, and sell insurance or live with Connor in an abandoned building. Instead I try to stoically recognize the sin as an opportunity to develop and grow others. Sometimes, though, I bear my teeth. And mean and self-righteous people like for me to do so, because then they can turn their venom upon me and totally forget their own darkness. So I'll eal with this, with prayer and patience and as much dignity as possible. Hopefully I will give those who are wrong the opportunity to discover themselves, and to change directions. Sometimes it works. Working with people is a fascinating and inexact science.



posted by: fairmoon (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (4:05 pm)

Ahhh "H"'s wonderful one liners! just can't live without them myself. Do you think he feels stupid saying them all the time?

Does this homeland stuff REALLY happen? remember I'm a igloo living Canuck, we don't have that sorta thing up here.

(*I guess i talk about CSI a lot to one of my friends, she came home from Vegas with a sparkly t-shirt that said "CSI Las Vegas" in red and gold sparkles. she gave it to me for my birthday. Now I'll i need is a pink track suit and a RV!)

PD: would someone call homeland paranoia if a witch came to your church?

FM


posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.30.07 (4:19 pm)

Reply to: bawdy

You are really bad. Hey Dave, Bawdy's being bad again.



posted by: intricategirl (reply)
post date: 01.31.07 (5:44 am)

I figured out what makes me so mad about it. This exact scene played out roughly 2000 years ago, and the Roman Homeland Security was fond of torture.

BTW, I suppose now is as good a time as any to have a little chat about that banner at the bottom... :D I'm a liberal. I work hard and I'm happy, so I'm not annoyed. My version would be "Love your fellow man and vote your conscience... Confuse a Conservative." So nyah nyah!!!! HeeHee!

Cheers!


posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.31.07 (6:17 am)

Reply to: intricategirl
The banner? It has been the impetus for several comments from some of my progressive fellow bloggers. Generally they think it does not fit, it is not friendly. It's intended to be a gentle little statement, not meant to be taken seriously.

I do not know how to make a banner. I stole this one, with permission, from a fellow blogger. I'll make this challenge: If you, or anyone else, can come up with your version of a banner, then I will use it as a replacement for what is currently at the bottom of my blogsite. How about it?



posted by: searcheng (reply)
post date: 01.31.07 (6:40 am)

how do you expect us to believe anything you write when you write about made up stuff like home land security calling you? do you realy think anyone believes they acutally called you? you wrote that just to generate respnones didn't you?


posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.31.07 (7:32 am)

Reply to: searcheng
It does sound rather fantastic, I admit.

Here is what I do when I'm challenged to question the truthfulness of another person. I consider how well I know that person. And, I consider the character of that person. Finally, I consider the history of that person. All you know about me is what I write in this blog and the links I provide. One of the links is to my church. It even includes a phone number. Someone who may question my credentials can easily check and verify if I am, indeed, who I say I am. And, you can check my previous posts and comments. Have I made a habit of questionable and truth-stretching writings? Check it out and consider.

I can only say, and you can accept or reject, this event truly happened.

Why don't you sign up for a t-blog, and start writing some blogs yourself?



posted by: intricategirl (reply)
post date: 01.31.07 (8:58 am)

Don't worry. I think it's funny. Your challenge is so interesting that I might have to teach myself how to make a banner. :D Cheers!


posted by: bawdy (reply)
post date: 01.31.07 (11:52 am)

Reply to: surrogate

Hush. I know Dave will forgive me for my wicked ways! Even if it was me who tipped off Homeland Security. heh


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post date: 03.05.07 (10:15 am)

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