posted by:
LadyG (
reply)
post date:
02.16.07 (8:37 pm)
PD you have a right to be concerned, pit bulls are vicious and very unpredictable dogs.If she won't listen all you can do is pray that God will keep his loving arms of protection around Skylar. I will pray also.
posted by:
FinalyFree (
reply)
post date:
02.16.07 (9:47 pm)
I don't blame you one bit for being concerned. I've NEVER understood the reasoning behind owning such a potentially dangers pet, especially around children.
Unfortunately there's not much you can do--K lives outside your home, right? If so, then ya, your hands are pretty much tied--I'd just keep on cautioning her to the possible dangers.
Now the insurance thingy floors me! Has she ever had to shell out cash for say, an ER visit? Not sure if you and your wife help her out any financially or not, but if you do I'd play my trump card and withold some (or all of it). It's not a matter of control, it's a matter of common sense and it would only be to her benefit to learn this lesson now. Best of luck Pastor :)
posted by:
69whisper (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (1:00 am)
Pit Bull is a declared dangerous dog specially for kids) and i think (if i am not wrong) Pit Bull is an illegal pet in many states (you will be knowing about the laws much better being a US citizen, and can put me wise on this).
other matters.... leave it to her (after delivering your wisdom) . Its her life.
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (4:59 am)
Just a sign of stubborn ignorance in the face of facts, and being right is probably so important to her that she'll make YOU and anyone else into the villians for suggesting she look at things a little differently.
KNow when she'll REALLY resent those who warn her? Easy. If and when something goes wrong.
Tell her I said she's caught the disease somewhere and is looking at life like a red-neck moron.
(There's a sign on a road near my house advertising pit-bulls for sale... Cute sign too, they cut the bottom right corner off in such a way to make it look like it was bitten off by a large and mean dog - half bitten, half ripped. Very effective. And I think... Gee, next time I want to sell a hand gun, I'll put up a sign in my yard showing a father gunning down his wife and kids!)
Sure hope your daughter gets over her case of the "selectively-stubbornly-stupids."
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (5:54 am)
just to add my two cents, there are many times you cannot get homeowner's insurance when you own a pit bull and if they don't own, i would call the landlord! ...just the added food and medical care to the budget can be a lot, never mind if the dog gets sick! i would tell her the "bank of dad" is CLOSED because she and boyfriend are so stupid! they will surely fall on their collective hiney's because of all the "niceties" they afford themselves. this sickens my heart for you, dave.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (6:59 am)
Reply to: LadyG
"vicious and unpredictable"
Some people speak with great defense of these dogs, saying they are by nature gentle and lovable creatures, who only turn mean when they are trained to be so. Perhaps, but I read and hear of too many unprovoked attacks to trust one with my grandaughter. How foolish and unwise. If it was just K and her boyfriend, I could tell her my opinion and then stay out of it. But with Skylar, I am rather upset. You encourage prayers, and I agree and will continue to pray fervently for protection and God's intervention in this matter. I feel I need to take more direct action, but my avenues are limited. It is not illegal around here to own a pit bull.
Thanks for your input.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (7:08 am)
Reply to: FinalyFree
As I age and hopefully become wiser in some matters, I am gaining greater respect for the quality of nagging. It must be done judiciously and lovingly, but I'm convinced it has it's useful place in relationships with those like K. I won't let this matter rest.
I offer little financial assistance, since she has chosen a living situation I do not approve. My wife and I do invest lots of time taking care of Skylar. We watch her in the mornings while K goes to College, and we watch her in the evenings while K goes to work. We are saving her much money in childcare. But, my kids never went to daycare, and I do not want Skylar to do so if I can help. It is a work of love for her sake. And, I'm convinced that education is K's avenue to a better life. Hopefully she will gain wisdom, and meet people of a higher quality than what she now hangs with. Her boyfriend quit high school, and works in a warehouse making $10 per hour. He is perfectly happy, and sees no need for education. His mom, an immigrant who has worked hard to build a successful business, lavishes all kinds of help on her son and my daughter. She encourages the relationship, I think because she knows for her son that K is a good catch. Of course, I'm probably rather prejudicial with such a statement. But, I pray and hope very much that a better and different kind of life is ahead for her. And I don't see that I can remove our offer to take care of Skylar for her.
I'll continue to nag, and pray, and perhaps engage in some covert operations, the nature of which I cannot mention on a public forum like this!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (7:31 am)
Reply to: 69whisper
These dogs are not illegal around here.
When the consequences of her actions will primarily effect only herself, then you are quite right- give her my opinion, and then let her live her own life. But, this involves my little baby girl. I'll not live-and-let-live where she is concerned.
I was thinking you lived in the US. If you feel comfortable telling, I'd like to know where home is for you.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (7:36 am)
Reply to: surrogate
Wow. You understand my K quite well. The following insights are priceless:
"Just a sign of stubborn ignorance in the face of facts, and being right is probably so important to her that she'll make YOU and anyone else into the villians for suggesting she look at things a little differently.
"Know when she'll REALLY resent those who warn her? Easy. If and when something goes wrong."
It took for me years of counseling, heart searching, and maturity to come to the point of understanding that K lives under a different reality of life. She doesn't think like most. She most often a victim, she is usually treated unfairly, and truly she knows better. At least, that's her version of life.
I'd appreciate hearing more of your insights, not only of how she looks at life, but how best to deal with her. How about it?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (7:43 am)
Reply to: mimi
"Bank Of Dad" has pretty well been closed. But, the "Bank Of His Mom" and associated "Motel Mom" is always open. When we refused to approve of her spending the night with her boyfriend, then his mom allowed my daughter to sleep with her son in their house. She lied to the apartment management, telling them K worked for her. And, she is offering to let them move back into her house to save money. This is not a good person, nor a good family situation. Her sons never finished high school, and don't see the need. It's just a slow but steady source of poison for my daughter. And, she connects my little grandaughter to such an influence. I don't like it one bit. This is the number one "negative" in my life at this time. But, what to do? I won't let it whip me, or turn me negative as an ongoing demeanor. I'll pray, and trust the process of God and time to make things better.
Thanks for your insights. I read somewhere along the way that you were considered to be nagative? I have not gained that impression. Daily blogs, like personal days in general, are sometimes a bit negative. But the trend of your life and your communication appears to me to be quite positive. You're simply "real", and that's a great quality.
posted by:
69whisper (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (8:04 am)
sorry, the dog is illegal in UK and not US (may be).i think the info, i will just paste below, is authenticated.
" Wednesday, 07 Feb 2007 08:58,
Ellie Lawrenson died on New Year's Day ,
Merseyside police will today begin a week-long illegal dog amnesty in a bid to remove breeds that could be a risk to residents.
The focus of the amnesty is on pit bull type dogs such as the pit bull terrier, American pit bull type, American Staffordshire, Irish staff and Irish blue Staffordshire. Owners of these types of dogs are able to hand them into police for humane destruction without fear of prosecution.
Merseyside police say that these dogs are "not suitable as family pets".
The amnesty comes following the New Year's Day death of five-year-old Ellie Lawrenson. The girl suffered fatal injuries and died at the home of her grandmother after being attacked by a pit bull terrier.
Subsequent tests on the dog, which was destroyed after the attack, found that it was a pure breed pit bull terrier, one of four types of dogs banned under the 1991 Dangerous Dogs Act."
Four breeds in particular were identified by the Act:
* Pit Bull Terriers (a description which has led to some confusion, as the "Pit bull" is not a breed in and of itself but encompasses a range of breeds)
* Tosa
* Dogo Argentino
* Fila Brasileiro
if that kinda law does not exist in US, then it should. or you can enact this law in your home atleast.
and i thought you knew i come from Pakistan:)
posted by:
FinalyFree (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (12:20 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
I think you should definitely continue to help with Skylar--you and your wife's influence on her life is priceless. I was very disappointed in my own daughter when she choose to get married so young then get pregnant before finishing her education, but like you, I'll do anything to help with the baby in order for her to finish. I think she saw me struggle so long as a single Mother to know higher education is the best gift she could give herself.
And Pastor, covert is not necessarily bad. Also, anytime you need a little guidance in the art of 'nagging with finesse' you give me a call--I was taught by the master :)
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
02.17.07 (12:37 pm)
I'm glad my province outlawed pit bulls. I don't know what the attraction to these potential ticking time bombs are. They were bred to be killers. I pray your daughter learns this the hard way, but it seems she's on a road to learn all her lessons that way.
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
02.18.07 (6:16 am)
PD i am sorry K is putting you through this. sad. my week has been fraught with putting back the pieces of my daughters life which is AGAIN falling apart because of things she did, and because of things she didn't. such are the things that God challenges us with. and again, the safety of a child is at stake. it is a hard road with hardly any gain in it, but we shall walk it all the same. I will continue to pray for you and Skylar and K. (and your poor wife as well!)
dawn
posted by:
seochris (
reply)
post date:
02.19.07 (4:25 am)
I feel for the first case of the pit bull, I'm absolutely unaware of. It wud be nice if u cud post a snapshot of that thing.
As for ur daughter's insurance i feel u shud discuss this thing again with her at a right time when she's in good mood or probably u can tell ur wife to help ur out.
The best option wud be to invove a third person whos equally respected by both of u.
Finally I hope ur daughter gets rid of that bull thingy soon from ur courtyard. Nice to blog again after so may days.
Well I also want to ask u how u doin??
posted by:
intricategirl (
reply)
post date:
02.19.07 (1:48 pm)
I have a horrific story involving pit bulls, however I will keep it to myself. You're not the one with the dog, and you don't need convinced.
I do not believe that these are gentle dogs by nature. By NATURE they are ruthless killers. That's why they were bred. The other part of their name, the terrier part, is shown through the loyalty they show their owners. And they are loyal. But you'd better be certain who the dog thinks is its owner. Together, these two traits are deadly.
I read your latest entry on lying. I hope you'll understand when I suggest that you assist the dog in running away from home. I will keep your granddaughter and daughter in my thoughts.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.07 (4:02 am)
Reply to: 69whisper
Why such is not law is beyond me. I guess there is a tenacious desire here in America to try to stay out of everyone's business. But, seems to me, if we can enact smoking bans and abortion restrictions- then we can do away with the ownership of a vicious breed of dog.
I did not know you were from Pakistan. You sound very Western in your posts. Hope that's not received as an insult!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.07 (4:04 am)
Reply to: bawdy
She's not the only foolhardy 19-year-old. And if she and her boyfriend want to own a dangerous dog, just the two of them, then I would at most tell her she is crazy. But now she is endangering a child; got to do something about that!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.07 (4:06 am)
Reply to: fractalmom
You keep loving those grandchildren. And, I believe, we never give up hope. These kids, most likely, will turn around if we can just enable them to survive long enough. "love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...love never fails..." - I Cor. 13.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.07 (4:10 am)
Reply to: seochris
It's good that you continue to come on back. I know life is busy, but we all need our diversions, like t-blog. You can find a picture of a pitbull on the internet, easily. They are muscular dogs with a huge mouth. They have absolutely no place around children.
Concerning the health insurance, indeed my wife is continuing to reason with her. Sometimes, I'm not too good at being diplomatic and patient in the face of foolishness, but my wife is much better at the process. I keep thinking we are a lifeline for our K, so we cannot give up on her. And we will not.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.20.07 (4:12 am)
Reply to: intricategirl
Who knows what may happen concerning this dog? There are lots of people around, and lots of things could happen.....
posted by:
69whisper (
reply)
post date:
02.21.07 (5:41 am)
why should I recieve it as an insult ??? i take it as a compliment my dear :)
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
03.08.07 (9:53 pm)
Oh dear ~ I certainly hope that K and her boyfriend will rethink the ownership of a pit bull. My stepson had an incident with their pit bull when Derek was 11 years old. The dog was eating and Derek dropped something and bent down to pick up the item and the dog turned on him and bit him in the face/mouth. Derek wasn’t even that close to where the dog was eating. Fortunately the dog didn’t shake Derek and rip the face open, but to this day he has scars on the face (Derek is now a father himself). They had had the dog for about three years (got it as a pup); it had never shown any aggressiveness, but that incident proved just how strong the ‘attack’ sense will come to the forefront, (and yes, they did get rid of the dog) but Derek still wears the scars!!!
Is this boyfriend the father of Skylar?
Is it perhaps his desire to have the dog and not K? Too bad that she is unable to see the danger here and do the right thing, for herself and her daughter.
My heart goes out to you as you deal with this situation. I will keep you, K, Skylar, and the rest of your family in prayer.
~ And to borrow a comment from Surrogate … hope your daughter gets over her case of the "selectively-stubbornly-stupids."
