Please Kick Me In The (Cigarette) Butt
I was walking out of the Hospice, and I said something that probably should not have been said. Well, it definitely was inappropriate. What made me say it? I don’t know. Maybe I was tired from an emotionally draining time with a friend. That would put a noble spin upon the matter. Perhaps it was an attempt at “black humour” that did not succeed. I know what it is, and I do appreciate a well-timed effort of levity about a dark subject. But I had best leave it to the professionals, of which I am not. What most likely happened at the moment was the emergence of the Jerk-From-Within. He almost always lurks somewhere near the tip of my tongue, and in most inappropriate times and ways will make his presence known. I know how to keep him away: introspection, the will to consider before I speak, and of course prayer. I was practicing none of those disciplines as I left the Hospice that day.
A lady, about my age, was sitting on the porch and smoking a cigarette. She had sunken cheeks, hollow eyes, and was obviously a patient. I was considering the absurdity of the scene as I walked by. She took another draw. I smiled, and said, “You’d best be careful. Those things can kill you.” There was a puzzled look on her face. I left.
Not good.
03.05.07 (10:06 am) [
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posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (7:29 am)
Oh... that is too funny. Black humor? Probably, but hilarious none the less.
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (1:49 pm)
Oh my... lol
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (2:54 pm)
I thought about this post half-dozen times today. In my mind's eye you were Leslie Nielsen doing his oblivious Naked Gun character.
Don't feel bad. We've all done that sort of thing at some point in our lives. Evidently when I was three or four, I said to my Mom's best friend, who's Japanese - while SQUINTING at her - "How can you see out when I can't see in?"
I've known her all my life. She forgave me... last year.
posted by:
doeeyed (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (3:28 pm)
Oooh my goodness =:-0
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (3:52 pm)
well, you and i seem to do the same "battering" to ourselves for the same type of reason! i guess you must know that it really serves no purpose other than to make yourself feel badly. so, in the long run, you will probably never see that same woman again, and even if you do, just smile at her and leave well enough alone. now, stop beating yourself up and let it go. you are loved, even more so, because we know you are human and not above reproach. xoxox
posted by:
lorischuster (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (5:52 pm)
We've all had those foot-in-the-mouth moment. You could always go back and talk to her. Maybe it's one of those unexpected opportunities to not only repair something but build on it as well.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (6:42 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
I was not sure about posting this. It was truly an inappropriate thing to do. But as much as I am embarassed that I could stoop to such behaviour, it still seems a bit funny. A moron, I admit to being with this incident.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (6:44 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
Somewhat unusual of you not to be able to make a statement. What's the guideline..."If you can't say something good, then say nothing at all"? Thanks for your restraint.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (6:47 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
4-year-olds are cute when they say such things. 50-year-olds usually are not.
I was having a meal with a Korean friend recently. She was saying humorous things about her slanted eyes. I wasn't sure how to react. I didn't say anything, which I think was safest.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (6:48 pm)
Reply to: doeeyed
Thanks for not dropping me as a t-blog pal. I promise to behave next time.
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (6:50 pm)
I'll get my Mom's friend to forgive you... in about 45 years.
Analyze it from the angle of what you intended, which certainly wasn't to be hurtful. You were making a light and friendly comment. Minor gaff.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (6:51 pm)
Reply to: mimi
Thanks for your kindness.
Is it not important for us to learn to laugh at ourselves, instead of beat up on ourselves? With such inappropriate actions on my part, I have learned to admit that I've quite a ways to go to be the person I want to be and should be. Then I accept that God still loves me and must think I'm somebody worthwhile. And, I try to learn so as to not repeat the same mistake, at least not with the same intensity. It's a slow process. I'm thinking by the time I'm 342, I should be about halfway there.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.05.07 (6:53 pm)
Reply to: lorischuster
I was back at the Hospice today. The workers waved me on in with a smile, so obviously they knew nothing. And, I did not see the mentioned lady. Perhaps she was in her room. Or.... Guess we will discuss the incident another time, like in heaven.
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
03.06.07 (3:04 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
zactly! xoxo
posted by:
bronwynj (
reply)
post date:
03.06.07 (3:12 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
Gosh surrogate, that was cute, sweet, & funny, & you'd think she would have seen the humour in it?! heh :-)
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
03.06.07 (3:18 pm)
Reply to: bronwynj
She did. She's an extremely sweet lady... (and she's my doctor so I can't have her mad at me!)
posted by:
bronwynj (
reply)
post date:
03.06.07 (4:55 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Yes, that was safest, with your Korean friend. I know from experience that even if a friend or family member critcises him/herself or children, if we join in we'll be attacked & they'll be offended.
posted by:
bronwynj (
reply)
post date:
03.06.07 (5:03 pm)
See PastorDave, it's your inner jerk which I find irritating - the rest of you is perhaps ok? hehe
:-)
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.06.07 (6:31 pm)
Reply to: kurtmaddox
Watch out- I like Ann. I do think she needs to eat more red meat.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.06.07 (6:33 pm)
Reply to: bronwynj
I understand. He's a hard fellow to like. But, he just won't go away.
