Tommy
Yesterday we said goodbye to our friend Tommy. Normally I would not tell the story of a man's death and funeral on this blog; It's intended for happier matters. But I think you would like to know this special man.Tommy and his twin brother were born a little over 60 years ago. The care for crisis deliveries and premature infants at that time was not nearly as advanced as today. Thus they entered into the world with an intellectual handicap, and spent their entire lives struggling with associated challenges. I think their mother was overwhelmed by the challenge, and thus was controlling and overly protective until her death about four months ago. It was unfortunate, but I dare not judge her too harshly. It was a protection born of love, a simple and flawed mother doing her best with an overwhelming situation. She shielded them from other members of the family, and neighbors, and friends. She ordered their lives and handled every detail. And they were good sons who loved their mama. Apparently she thought she was going to live forever. She did not prepare them for life without her. She died at the age of 85, this last November.
So I tell you, after an explanation of his challenges, that Tommy was an amazing man. He enriched the lives of so many people. And we all gathered on Sunday afternoon to pay tribute to this friend. Concerning preparation, it was an easy funeral for me to conduct. A simple microphone was placed in the front of the church sanctuary, and those who would like were invited to step forward to share a few words of tribute. With the words that followed an exquisite portrait of an exceptional man was painted. A nurse spoke of his quiet dignity, as with simplicity and nobility he succombed to cancer. Friends from work told of how he always had a smile upon his face, and with his interaction made you feel as if you were the most important person in the world. My wife told of how she is going to truly miss his humorous banter. Steve spoke with tears of how Tommy, for some reason, “chose” him as a friend. He quoted I Corinthians 13, substituting the word “love” with the name of our brother. “...Tommy is patient, kind, never haughty, or rude, or self-serving...Tommy never fails...” And many others spoke of the influence of this simple and loving man. A cousin stood to read words, carefully and lovingly transcribed from his brother Johnny. Characteristically, Johnny struggles with a limited vocabulary. But as Johnny sobbing in his pew, the words that were read were divinely eloquent.
When I stood to share a message, there was no need for me to pontificate. The life and love of Tommy had already preached a wonderful sermon. I read the passage from Luke, of the the child who offered his picnic basket to Jesus. He was just a little boy. And what he had to offer was not much. But he gave his very best, and he gave it from a heart of love. And it was accepted by Jesus. He took the few pieces of bread, and fish, and multiplied them, and fed the multitude. I told the crowd that Tommy was that little boy. He seemed at first glance not to have a lot. But he gave from a pure heart, and he gave his all. And God took what Tommy so graciously offered, and through the gentle life of this man we we all have been richly and abundantly blessed.
Tommy loved a raggedly old teddy bear he lendearingly named “Little Steve”. The aforementioned Steve gave it to Tommy while he was in the hospital. And Tommy was buried with Little Steve.
Tommy loved his cat, named Boots. Boots was brought to visit with him in the hospice every day. The cat would purr, and rub against him, and then snuggle up next to him in the hospital bed to take a leisurely nap. Several times I delighted to watch as Tommy would light up at the presence of Boots. And inevitably he would sing silly little songs to the appreciative cat. They had an amazing connection. Boots was given to Tommy on Christmas Day, by a homeless man as a simple expression of appreciation. The man was starving, and freezing, and Tommy took him into his house and gave him a place to stay. And he did this against the advice of others, including myself. Why? Because it was parcel to his simple heart to simply love others.
He liked to sing in the choir, even though he could not sing a note. I think he sang like an angel. He loved to come to men's breakfast, and eat about three plates of food. Given the opportunity, I'd cook him all he would want. I remember his long, never ending sentences, and wondering if he would ever stop talking. They don't seem so long anymore. I remember Tommy. He liked to smile and say, “There's my craaaazy preacher!” To have been Tommy's pastor, and friend, is a title of honor.
Tommy, I will see you again.
03.12.07 (7:05 pm) [
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posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
03.12.07 (6:04 pm)
Wonderful. I remember you writing about Tommy when his Mother died. Not much more one can ask for, or hope for, than to touch others by simply living life lovingly. A very successful man, your Tommy.
posted by:
LadyG (
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post date:
03.12.07 (7:25 pm)
A beautiful tribute PD.
posted by:
weasy (
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post date:
03.12.07 (7:34 pm)
sounds like the world could use a few more Tommy's
posted by:
cuz (
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post date:
03.12.07 (7:49 pm)
What a testimony Tommy lived. I cannot measure up to such a person, but I wish I did.
posted by:
auntconi (
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post date:
03.12.07 (8:13 pm)
Wonderful ~ Nice tribute to Tommy!
posted by:
bawdy (
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post date:
03.13.07 (11:48 am)
Thanks for sharing. Wonderful tribute indeed.
posted by:
FinalyFree (
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post date:
03.13.07 (4:05 pm)
I too remember when you wrote of his Mother's passing and thought of my own family's similar situation. What a beautiful post Pastor. Thank you for sharing with us the story of Tommy.
posted by:
lorischuster (
reply)
post date:
03.13.07 (4:05 pm)
I liked the story of how he took in the homeless man--who in turn gave him the cat that Tommy loved so much. it is how the world works before we grow jaded and skeptical. Innocence and purity of heart is a tremendous gift--generally it is all too quickly gone. Obviously he will be greatly missed by those whose lives he touched. A very touching tribute. Thank you for sharing.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.13.07 (6:14 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
It is very disconcerting, to me, how fast cancer can take a life. Tommy was at work and at church, and then within a week he was dead. He died of prostate cancer. It is a slow moving form of cancer, very treatable when caught at an early stage. Tommy was never taught to be checked for such.
The circumstances he had to rise above we quite big- thus, Tommy in my opinion did more with his life than most people. Thanks for recognizing what a wonderful person he truly was.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.13.07 (6:15 pm)
Reply to: LadyG
Thanks. My intention was for Tommy to be honored.
posted by:
PastorDave (
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post date:
03.13.07 (6:17 pm)
Reply to: weasy
Yes indeed. Many such persons are around, who could greatly enrich our lives if we would simply give them a chance. I think, when the church is living up to what it is supposed to be, that it should be about the business of affirming the value of people, including those like Tommy.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.13.07 (6:19 pm)
Reply to: cuz
Cuz, I'm happy to find you still come around for a visit! Yes, Tommy has been a great person to know and love.
Your phone # is disconnected. I need to talk with you. Please give me a call, and let me know if you have lost my number. Soon, please.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.13.07 (6:26 pm)
Reply to: auntconi
Thanks.
"Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them." - Rev. 14:13
I feel the good works of one like Tommy have been passed on, like a runner who passes the baton to the next racer, to those who have benefitted for his life. Hopefully we will do a good job with this privilege/responsibility.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.13.07 (6:28 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
Thanks for reading this long post; it is encouraging that folks like yourself would invest your time to read my stuff. Hope we've all been encouraged to recognize the value of those around us like Tommy.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.13.07 (6:30 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
Thanks for being a long-term reader. Some of my stuff is a bit shallow- you can skip through it. But, I appreciate your reading and appreciation for Tommy's story. He has been a blessing.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.13.07 (6:32 pm)
Reply to: lorischuster
You are right. I have not thought much about the connection between Tommy and the homeless man. Indeed they are both simple persons, innocent, overlooked by most, and both with a story to tell and love to give. Thanks for the great insight.
posted by:
FinalyFree (
reply)
post date:
03.14.07 (11:48 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
Me thinks the good Pastor doesn't give himself or his posts enough credit :)
posted by:
spook102956 (
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post date:
03.14.07 (6:52 pm)
Very touching story. Thanks.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.14.07 (7:23 pm)
Reply to: spook102956
Thanks for reading. Tommy has been a blessing. His brother came to church tonight. I noticed so very many people going out of their way to make him feel important, to show him attention. It made me, again, proud to be their pastor.
