Four Totally Inappropriate Jokes About Women
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
(For an alternative, please view "Five Totally Inappropriate Jokes About Men")
05.27.07 (4:02 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
heavyarms (
reply)
post date:
05.29.07 (12:15 pm)
Your first extremely offensive and sexist joke reminds me of my second favorite Lewis Grizzard golf joke (paraphrased):
One day a man was playing a local course with his wife. On a dogleg par-4, the man pulled his drive left and stuck it behind a storage barn. After assessing the situation, he found that if he opened up the barn's front and back doors he'd have a straight shot to the green. Against his wife's very vocal opposition, he opened them up and took his shot. The ball rattled through the barn before bouncing off a crossbeam, out a window and striking his wife square in the forehead, killing her instantly.
It was 10 years before the man was able to summon the courage to play that course again. As Murphy's Law went, he got to the same hole, made the same exact shot, and stuck his ball right where he put it 10 years prior. The friend he was playing with spoke up, "You know, if you open up those barn doors, you'll have a straight shot to the green." The man, visibly upset, hands shaking, said "I don't think so, the last time I did that something awful happened." "What?" asked his friend. "I shot a seven," the man replied.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.29.07 (2:52 pm)
Reply to: heavyarms
Terribly insensitive. And funny.
Here's my favorite golf joke:
Group of men are together playing golf, same four men and same time, a tradition they had been faithful to through the years. Every week, same day, same time. At around the 6th hole, John stops, stands erect and removes his hat. He stands quietly and reverently as a funeral procession drives by. After the cars pass, one of his golfing partners remarks, "John, I'm very touched that you would stop and show so much respect for a funeral procession." John replies, "Well, it was nothing. Besides, I guess it was the least I could do, since it was my wife's funeral."
posted by:
tpxyskvdcr (
reply)
post date:
06.23.07 (11:17 pm)
Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! rzjovzttjfmmn
posted by:
(
reply)
post date:
09.17.07 (4:29 pm)
9
posted by:
alexis (
reply)
post date:
03.19.08 (4:05 pm)
i don't get it? aren't there suppose to be jokes on here. (not pictures and replies, because i looked up riddles and jokes and clicked on this and this is what i got.
posted by:
william (
reply)
post date:
03.19.08 (4:08 pm)
you guys are right i don't know why there aren't riddles and jokes. if thats what we want then we shouldn't go on this site. so lets put this down that we are never going to come on this site again.
posted by:
Chrissy (
reply)
post date:
11.13.08 (9:00 am)
i aggree.
posted by:
The previous Three (
reply)
post date:
01.22.09 (8:02 pm)
Your Comments are garbage. Learn to Navigate the WEB.
posted by:
bob (
reply)
post date:
04.06.09 (2:24 pm)
MORE SEX!
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (5:14 am)
Reply to: bob
So, you consider sitting in front of a computer screen looking at porn to be the equivalent of sex? That's rather sad.
posted by:
RED BONE (
reply)
post date:
05.19.09 (2:27 pm)
i'm a woman. and most women might not get a kick out of these half ass jokes, but i think they are kinda funny ! get the hell over it ! don't take it too serious ! unless you're about as dumb as these jokes ! they are still silly !
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.19.09 (2:44 pm)
Reply to: RED BONE
I've been blogging regularly over 4 years now. I've written about lots of different subjects. Sometimes, rarely, I've even had something worthwhile to say. It's interesting to me this silly blog, with these silly jokes, seems to get the most hits. Well, there's also the blog about Abdullah The Butcher.
They're certainly not meant to be offensive. Certainly you could find lots of worse stuff on the web. If they offend you, and I mean truly offend you, then I think you most likely spend far too much time surfing the net and far too little time out interacting with the real world.
Red, thanks for the sensible comments!
posted by:
Logan (
reply)
post date:
05.29.09 (9:23 am)
Reply to:
What was the point of MORE SEX on a site made for JOKES!?
posted by:
noneofurbusiness (
reply)
post date:
06.09.09 (3:46 pm)
i think that you all need to get over your gross obsession with sex, you want jokes, go here, you want sex, go get a hooker, either way, GET OVER IT
posted by:
Belladonna (
reply)
post date:
10.18.09 (2:02 pm)
Jesus touched me and now he's doing 25 to life!
posted by:
wow1 (
reply)
post date:
11.09.09 (2:53 pm)
This so sexiest!!
posted by:
captain cupkake (
reply)
post date:
11.18.09 (5:47 pm)
Reply to: neneo
I got a hot girlfriend, hookers are for challenged people.
