Big Ole Lonely Twin Bed
Let's just say the vacation has hit an interesting point.
We arrived at the home of Mother-in-Law yesterday. We do not see each other much. And sometimes I wonder what she thinks about me. Then I consider some of the things I tend to think about every guy that ever feigns interest in my daughters. The guys inevitably tend to not be very smart. Nor do they look particularly attractive. Nor do I enjoy thir presence or conversation. My daughters could always, surely, do much better. And so at best I tolerate these guys and try not to say or do things which would further isolate. Mostly I stare, deeply, and say very little.
Yesterday and today I've noticed Mom staring. She is nice, when she speaks, which is little.
Last night when it was bedtime Brother-in-Law showed me to my bedroom. My Bedroom. My wife was slated to sleep with her mother! I did not think that was such a good idea. I'm married to her, and I like to sleep with her. But I simply smiled and pretended everything was cool. Not too much of a smile and actually very little pretense. Still, I think I behaved in a socially acceptable way. I was told, with the limited space, there could be no other arrangements. I was not convinced. And so I was shown my room. It was a tiny little room with a tiny little window. Negligible furnishings. And, a single twin bed. It reminded me of a jail cell. When I entered the room and closed the door, very much I thought of Clint Eastwood in Escape From Alcatrez and Tim Robbins in Shawshank Redemption.
Mom seemed quite happy with things. I whispered later to my wife that we could probably fit together on a twin bed. And at that moment I was reminded anew of a universal truth: Never-ever force your wife to choose between her mother and yourself- you will not like her decision.
So here I sit, Day 2 at Mom's House. We are scheduled to leave in 3 days. Three Days. I have a recurring thought, almost a nightmare, of that foreboding day. Wife and Mom and Brother are standing on the porch, arms entwined and eerie smiles on faces, waving as I pull out from the driveway. I'm driving a '49 Packard. And I'm all alone.
My vacation has really just begun.
07.23.07 (3:19 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (12:55 pm)
Sounds like you are driving the '49 Packard, alone, to the Clinton Museum. Have a nice day tooling along the highways/byways of Arkansas.
posted by:
Cuz (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (1:01 pm)
Somebody has finally "put you in your place," there little cuzin. Careful not to anger the "Mom"...the door may lock from the outside. Just kiddin wid ya' cuzin. Hmmm....I could make that visit to Stone Mtn. while you're gone. Thanks for telling where to find the key. I've met your dogs, so I'm not afraid.
posted by:
MIMI (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (1:16 pm)
how come mom couldn't take the little bed and give you and wifey-pooh the double room? seems like a good decision to me!
xoxo
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (1:30 pm)
Reply to: MIMI
~ i had that same thought, but then thought maybe it is a 'southern thing' to put the son-in-law in the itty-bitty-room (punishment?) ~ ???
*giggle*
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (1:35 pm)
Do NOT complain. Do NOT complain.
Am I making myself heard here?
Do NOT complain.
Just some advice from someone who had a mother-in-law from the nether regions.
(Had. Got that?)
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (2:33 pm)
Reply to: auntconi
Mom does not like Clinton. I think I'll give her another chance. Maybe she isn't all that bad. Hilliary, that is.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (2:36 pm)
Reply to: Cuz
I was thinking the door would lock, and I would be fed under the door for the next 3 days. So it was nice to awaken this morning. Still, I'm puzzled about these 2 little bite marks on my neck.
Still going to Stone Mtn?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (2:37 pm)
Reply to: MIMI
Bad back. She says. She can bench press 300 pounds, though.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (2:38 pm)
Reply to: auntconi
"Southern"? Evil.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (2:40 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
Let's see.... I can either take them as a pair for the rest of my life, or I can go it alone? Hmmm......
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (3:57 pm)
bad back, my eye! LOL! she is punishing you for some forgotten sompin'or'tuther! think...think...think! well, at least she let you out in the mornin'!!!! have fun!
xoxo
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (3:58 pm)
Reply to: auntconi
you, my dear, are pro'ly correct : ) even Pastors are really just MEN, aren't they...hmmmmm! wonder what wrong doings he did that she remembers??? LOLOLOL!!!!
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (5:24 pm)
Reply to: mimi
"...really just MEN, aren't they...hmmmmmm!"
~ hehehe ~
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (5:26 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave ~ you are sooo silly!
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (5:30 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
~ southern evil?
hmmm, my 1st hubby was southern ~ well, southern illinois ~ but he sounded like he was from the deep south ~ but he wasn't at all evil ~ he was a sweetie.
posted by:
LadyG (
reply)
post date:
07.23.07 (8:25 pm)
You in the little itty bitty room, hilarious. you are funny PD, enjoy yourself and keep the laughs coming.
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
07.24.07 (10:54 am)
I hope you don't mind if I'm enjoying this. heh
posted by:
Barbara (
reply)
post date:
07.24.07 (5:35 pm)
But is the twin bed like sleeping on bricks, lumpy bricks? Cause it could be worse, ask your brother, he'll tell you. Oh, and is it hot as hades at night because your in-laws turn the A/C off? It could be worse, ask your brother.
posted by:
FinalyFree (
reply)
post date:
07.27.07 (8:14 pm)
You're a champ Pastor! Truly. I figure my hubby would have volunteered to sleep on the floor of the twin bed just as long as I was with him, heh!
