18 Today
How did I become a father? It certainly is not because of the experience of camaraderie of childhood. As much as I can remember, my dad was impatient and quick to slap with the open hand. He died when I was a little boy, and I do not remember shedding a tear. Mom remarried a few years later. My teen years were spent in what I now consider to have been a rather dysfunctional family. Mom had her kids, and step-dad had his kids, and no one really enjoyed the company of the other. Fights were frequent and I did not have a father during those important years. I gravitated toward church. Greatly I admired the pastor, and was blessed that he took time for conversation and friendship with a lost teenage boy. And, the dad of my first real girlfriend thought I was worth a bit of his time. His wife did not like me, and now I appreciate why. But he was a good guy, a good example of fatherhood.
At the age of 24 I fell in love and made plans to marry. Often I told my wife-to-be that children were not part of the plans. She married me anyway. About five years later the first child came along. It was not a mistake. My children are the result of a loving and healthy relationship and the desire to allow another human being to be part of that love.
So I learned to be a dad on the fly. Sometimes I did well, and sometimes I messed up. And I’ll be a better grandparent. Truly, grandchildren give those like me a chance to be born again.
Now my boy 18 years of age, a man. What a wonderful privilege has been mine to share life with this special person. He is smart, handsome, and self-assured. And he is doing much better than I at that stage of life. This quality young man is especially gifted of God to make a positive impact upon others. He thinks he wants to be a Marine, and I think he would make a good College student. Ultimately it is his choice. I’ve no doubt he will succeed, and so my heart is at rest.
I must let go. He has dreams galore, and I should not get in the way. He has entered into a new season of life, beyond childhood and adolescence. I will be there to watch with a smile, I’ll suggest, prod, and pray. And never will he cease to be my son. The connection will always be there. Nothing he can or will do will slow my love for him. And, he knows it.
Last week I had an interesting conversation with my mother-in-law. Her husband, Roy, died a few years ago. He was a military retiree who seemed, to me, strict and very private. Thus she surprised me when she told me that Roy liked to dance the jitterbug. She said, on Friday afternoons, he would come home from work and “dance into the house”. The two would go out and dance the night away. Funny- I cannot picture it in my head.
And I wonder what my boy thinks of me.
I do not mind that he knows I am imperfect. At times I messed up with this fatherhood business. Not always- sometimes I’ve been a pretty good dad! A favourite scripture comes to mind, I Peter 4:8, “Above all keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” Life will take my boy many places. He will succeed, no doubt. He will hit some rough times, too. And, he will smile and remember that Dad loves him.
Happy birthday, Brock.
