A Friend Battles With Addiction
I have been getting to know a man who is struggling with an addiction. In the course of our interaction and friendship, I've come to recognize and respect a stubborn integrity inherent in his fight for life and meaning. He's not a superman. He's filled with flaws. And, he knows this may be his last chance to find a way out. I'm there to help. We will try to make the journey together.
In his honesty of conversation he has passed along some interesting insights. I'll share a few:
Isolation is an ongoing battle. When alone, when not connected with those who care, it is a lot easier to do drugs. And when you are under the influence, then the loneliness does not seem so bad. To me, the answer is to connect with others who will build you up. This is where the church can wrap arms around such a person and truly love him into a better way of life.
Those who shine are people who never give up on you. This young man has battled with his family for many years. He has done some things probably worthy of abandonment. And, on the surface, his parents seem to be rather simple people. But they have stayed with this guy. They've managed to show him respect. After twelve long years of rebellion, he is coming around. He is quite grateful, even amazed, at their love.
You never know when God is connecting you with someone of need. His parents started attending my church about a month ago. I dropped by to see his dad, and casually met this young man out in the yard. We conversed superficially for a few minutes, and I invited him to church. He attended a worship service, we talked some more, and now I'm privileged to be connected with his quest for a change of life. The lesson: stay faithful with loving others and making yourself available, and those who need what you have to offer will come your way.
We talked about what it is like to be "high". He said it feels good, which I already surmised. But he said it is not good enough, nor long enough, and it sure leaves you empty when you come down. And then he said something real interesting. Initially, he was looking for his involvement in church to enable him to "get high on Jesus". I thought about the phrase. I've heard it used by Christian speakers, to encourage an alternative to drugs. Then the young man made a point that I found to be encouraging. It showed some maturity on his part. He has realized that following Christ is a matter of ongoing relationship and commitment, and not an emotional high. I smiled. He is so right!
Think about this new friend as he begins his journey of faith. With God's help, he will make it.
09.13.07 (7:07 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (5:29 pm)
my thoughts and prayers for you both...i tried "loving" someone enough so he could find his way up and out through AA and church. Sadly, his journey ended in death due to complications of diabetes and drug use. i miss him. so i wish you and your friend light and love in his quest. xoxox
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (5:31 pm)
uh. feel like a quick drive to n.e. ohio my friend? my daughter could use you by her side LOL. she has worn me out. we do at least still have a relationship with her and the doors to communication are still open, but the relationship is scarred forever now. sad. i know in my heart that i should forgive her, and perhaps i have, the problem with me is that i haven't forgotten what she did to her children, and, since i am now raising them, i probably won't. still i wish your new friend the best in recovery and will pray for him and his long suffering parents.
posted by:
Doe (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (5:51 pm)
What a priveledge for both of you to have this opportunity.
You are both in my thoughts and prayers.
posted by:
Barnabus1 (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (5:58 pm)
I think once he really experiences Jesus love for him, he will find the 'high'!!
posted by:
mercurysoul (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (6:55 pm)
I hope that your friend is sincere PD. I can't count how many times my drug addicted sister has lead me to believe that she really wants to change. It's heart breaking. I'm glad that his family is still behind him. It's so important. Your right, addicts, of any kind need support and love from their families not the cold shoulder. It helps to know that someone cares. It can make all the difference.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (7:17 pm)
Reply to: mercurysoul
I know habits are hard to change, even when to do so is obviously best. Bad eating habits. Lack of exercise. Etc. If you add to such a developed dependency, be that emotional or physical, then such becomes manifold more difficult. I understand it takes at least 8 attempts to lose weight before one becomes successful. So I sympathize with the person in the grips of an addiction. I'll hang in there with him. I know the odds of success are not good. But, as the scripture says, with God all things are possible.
I'd like to see your sister truly changed. Has she sincerely tried a faith based approach?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (7:19 pm)
Reply to: Barnabus1
One point I try to make is that it is wrong to expect a lasting and sufficient emotional high from turning to Jesus. Don't get me wrong- there is alot to be emotional about, when you consider such amazing love. But, emotions are human based and change all the time. Christianity is a walk of faith. I think my friend understands this.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (7:21 pm)
Reply to: Doe
Thanks.
You are still blogging here on t-Blog, aren't you? You can dabble at those other places. But, we will not allow you to leave us. And we will get serious about this matter.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (7:27 pm)
Reply to: fractalmom
I've seen the lasting devastation of serious drug use- it alters personality, and even mental capacity. I'm so sorry for your daughter. I know you cannot afford to allow her choices to bring harm to those precious children. Love must be with wisdom.
Would love to come to Northeast Ohio. Actually, I occasionally travel through Dayton, Lima and Toledo on my way to Detroit. I'll stop by and give your daughter a quick sermon.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (7:29 pm)
Reply to: mimi
Repentance and forgiveness often do not erase the consequences. You still behaved most nobly, most honoring of God's love.
posted by:
mercurysoul (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (8:04 pm)
I hope that your friend is sincere PD. I can't count how many times my drug addicted sister has lead me to believe that she really wants to change. It's heart breaking. I'm glad that his family is still behind him. It's so important. Your right, addicts, of any kind need support and love from their families not the cold shoulder. It helps to know that someone cares. It can make all the difference.
posted by:
mercurysoul (
reply)
post date:
09.13.07 (8:07 pm)
I hope that your friend is sincere PD. I can't count how many times my drug addicted sister has lead me to believe that she really wants to change. It's heart breaking. I'm glad that his family is still behind him. It's so important. Your right, addicts, of any kind need support and love from their families not the cold shoulder. It helps to know that someone cares. It can make all the difference.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
09.14.07 (1:56 am)
Reply to: mercurysoul
You can say that again. Wait....you did.
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
09.14.07 (12:10 pm)
I hope he can stay on the right path and doesn't relapse.
posted by:
Lisa (
reply)
post date:
09.14.07 (4:43 pm)
Many christians are under the (mistaken) impression that one can get that emotional high off of jesus and sustain it. I'd say, just like anything else, a relationship with God takes work and commitment. being high off of jesus is just a gimmick youth pasters use to try and convince their followers that they too are cool.
good luck with your friend.
posted by:
mercurysoul (
reply)
post date:
09.14.07 (11:02 pm)
ha...sorry about that PD
