Interview With PastorDave of t-Blog Ministries Inc. - Part II
INTERVIEWER: Tell me a bit about your orphanage, to be built in a little town outside Mexico City.
PASTORDAVE: (With a burst of inspiration) Yes! I received a vision from God. Late at night, I was meditating at my….errr the ministry’s condo in Cancun, looking across the bay, when suddenly He appeared to me.
INTERVIEWER: Who?
PASTORDAVE: Jesus. 70 foot tall. Just floating in the air.
INTERVIEWER: And, what did He say?
PASTORDAVE: He told me to build an orphanage for kids, for 70 million dollars.
INTERVIEWER: Why that exact sum of money?
PASTORDAVE: My friend, these things are spiritually discerned. Of course you do not understand! One million dollars for every foot of His glorious height.
INTERVIEWER: That was a big Jesus!
PASTORDAVE: But, you know, He had the sweetest breath.
INTERVIEWER: I see. Sir, I understand you have been raising funds for the realization of this ministry for quite a while.
PASTORDAVE: It’s all for the poor little kids. God bless ‘em.
INTERVIEWER: What do you know about those kids?
PASTORDAVE: I know they need an orphanage?
INTERVIEWER: Ever met any of them?
PASTORDAVE: No.
INTERVIEWER: Ever touched any of them?
PASTORDAVE: Can’t do that.
INTERVIEWER: Why?
PASTORDAVE: I’m under the Anointing. It would draw the Power from me.
INTERVIEWER: What?
PASTORDAVE: (Silence)
INTERVIEWER: What about that young “ministry assistant” with whom you seem so fond, so ready to give a hug and a pat?
PASTORDAVE: (Silence and Glare) It’s all just Christian love.
INTERVIEWER: PastorDave, you have been raising funds for this orphanage for several years, yet you have never even broken ground. Where’s the orphanage? Where’s the money?
PASTORDAVE: I think this interview is now over.
INTERVIEWER: Wait. I’ve more questions. How about those thousands of prayer request letters dumped in the garbage bins behind your headquarters? You promised to pray over every one of them.
PASTORDAVE: My assistants prayed, as they removed the checks, money orders, cash, and wedding rings.
INTERVIEWER: And, now, I understand you are “believing God” for a Cessna Citation X jet?
PASTORDAVE: Ummm…. Yes. It will help me to travel around the world to proclaim the gospel.
INTERVIEWER: Maybe you could go coach?
PASTORDAVE: Maybe you could go…..? I’m going to ask God to punish you. May he heap coals of fire upon your head!
JESUS – Oh, I’m not too worried.
Enough of this ruse. After three posts of such nature, I think it is time to take a long, hot shower. This stuff is highly disturbing, and does great damage to the cause of Christ. With my next post, I intend to do some straightforward interaction with the uncomfortable connections of wealth and ministry, so prevalent with the church of today. Stay tuned!
