I Will Accept The Nomination
I have decided to set aside my own personal agenda for the greater good. Therefore, should either major party deem it to be proper, I will accept nomination for President of the United States of America. And if elected, I promise to serve to the very best of my ability.
My 10 Point Platform:
(1) Universal free trade. No limits. No tariffs. And you either play fair, or we will pick up our toys and go home.
(2) All American troops come home. Our military will leave you alone. And you had best leave us alone, or you will have Hell to pay.
(3) Repeal of federal income tax. Across-the-board flat tax of 5%. No exceptions- nobody too poor, nobody too rich to pay.
(4) Limited social programs. Let the churches and charities do their jobs.
(5) Government gets out of the marrying business. Who and how you marry is your business.
(6) Return of citizen legislature. Meet only three months out of the year. Across-the-board term limits. No exceptions.
(7) School vouchers, allowing absolute freedom of choice.
(8) Term limits for federal judges. Term limits for Supreme Court.
(9) Drill for oil in ANWAR, along both coasts. New refineries.
(10) No border fence. English as the official language.
My Cabinet:
Vice President - Charlize Theron. No legislative responsibilities. No delegated power. But I'd sure rather look at her than Dick Cheney.
Secretary Of State - Ron Paul
Attorney General - Roy Barnes. Really bad ex-governor of my state of residence. But he is proving to be a heck of a lawyer. I like a guy who doesn't quit.
Secretary Of Labor - Luisa Romano. She is the best waittress at the local Waffle House. This woman has a work ethic and smile that you will not believe.
Secretary of Education - Ms. White, my 3rd Grade Teacher. She washed my mouth out with soap. I'd like to see her make such a national policy.
Secretary of Treasury - My wife. Why not? She can and does balance a budget, which is more than most current politicians can claim.
Some Personal Policies:
(1) Television Reality Show modeled after The Osborn's or The Truman Show, in which a camera accompanies the president at all times. And I do me, all times.
(2) The President's Sermon. I will preach a sermon every Sunday morning at 8:00, which will still give all Americans time to make it to Sunday School.
(3) Every day I will say "I do not know" to some question from the media.
(4) Presidential 40-hour work week. Why not? An important job of the American government is to LEAVE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ALONE! I'll take long lunch hours, play lots of golf, and vacation in exotic places. And I'll not answer the phone after 5 p.m.
05.19.08 (10:13 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
05.19.08 (7:26 pm)
PDAVE FOR PRESIDENT! YOU HAVE MY VOTE! Could you instill a nap into the American workplace as one of our inalienable rights? xoxoxo
posted by:
jjsmom (
reply)
post date:
05.19.08 (7:32 pm)
you have my vote.... although, if McCain is smart and chooses Huckabee as his running mate, you might have a fight on your hands, because, afterall, Huckabee is endorsed by Chuck Norris, lol.... As soon as you said drill in ANWAR, you had my vote, lol
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.19.08 (7:49 pm)
Reply to: mimi
Nap for workplace? As president, I will do all in power to keep the government out of the workplace. Employers will compete for the best workers. If offering a mid-day nap will attract the best, then so be it. I think it is a fine idea.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.19.08 (7:50 pm)
Reply to: jjsmom
So, how about if I promise to make Chuck Norris my Secretary of Defense and personal bodyguard?
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
05.19.08 (7:52 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
but PDave, I work for the government...so make sure my workplace is included Pleasseeee! Naps are good for everybody! : )
xoxox
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
05.19.08 (7:53 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Chuck might be a little too old and out of shape! better get harrison ford! he be the man! xoxox
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
05.19.08 (8:09 pm)
I'm with you on about two thirds of it.
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
05.20.08 (3:49 am)
I like your platform. the players don't really matter all that much though LOL. Secretary of State should probably be Henry Kissinger LOL, is he dead yet?
posted by:
OldSchool (
reply)
post date:
05.20.08 (6:06 am)
Some very good ideas indeed... especially Charlize Theron as your VP.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.20.08 (6:39 am)
Reply to: OldSchool
She would look very nice sitting behind me during State Of The Union addresses. Put her next to Nancy Pelosi, and the public approval of my presidency will go up by 30%.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.20.08 (6:42 am)
Reply to: fractalmom
As of today Kissinger is still alive. And, what do you mean that the players do not really matter? You are in consideration for Secretary Of Housing and Urban Development. It's a cushy job that pays well, and I will allow you to work from home.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.20.08 (6:43 am)
Reply to: surrogate
Two-thirds is pretty good. Surely, then, I can count on your vote.
posted by:
squirrelzone (
reply)
post date:
05.20.08 (11:29 am)
Interesting platform PD. There are some things that I am closed minded about and am willing to get some flack about it. Number 5 hits a little to close because our Judges overturned a law that the citizens in California voted for. Right wrong of indifferent I feel that same sex marriages should be banned. From what I understand there are no real benefit for same sex marriages. Other then diversity which I'm no real fan of either. (Let the hate mail come) I can not embrace ideas that I think are morally wrong. It degrades the moral fiber of our society so if we allow that then what's next?
Number 10. I like fences. Fences are good. It helps keep out neighbors who doesn't respect boundaries.
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
05.20.08 (12:48 pm)
Now all you need is a few million dollars to set your campaign in motion if you're to be on a level playing field.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.20.08 (2:59 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
If everyone of my t-Blog supporters would individually contribute a dollar, through Paypal, then I should have a crisp $20 in donations in no time. That should make for a healthy beginning for my candidacy.
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
05.20.08 (4:19 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
why PD, I am honored :) however, I will simply stay at home with my babies....it's probably better that way, i would expect people to ya know, work, pay bills, taxes...all that stuff.
