Statement Of Withdrawal From Presidential Consideration
Regretfully I now withdraw my name from consideration for the office of the President of the United States of America. If nominated I will not accept, if elected I will not serve. I am grateful for the enthusiastic support of those across this fair land, and will continue to advocate for a government that places priority upon service and not upon being served.
It is true that several rumors, innuendo, and hints of personal improprieties have arisen from various sources since my original announcement. I will not justify these scandalous accusations with specific address. Yes, there may exist a few photos that appear to give dubious testimony to my activities and associations. Receipts traceable to my bank accounts may cause others to question my propriety in personal social activities. And there is the matter of what appears to be an embarrassing video. Even as I haste to admit guilt to nothing, surely my withdrawal from consideration will put an end to any pursuits on the part of my political detractors. Besides, do not we all have a few skeletons in our closets? These insignificant matters should not diminish my abilities to serve.
Always will I cherish your confidence. Your contributions will be used to eliminate accumulated campaign debt, and you can trust me when I say that none of said money will be used to fund my upcoming trip to Tahiti- although McCain-Feingold does not prohibit such. You can trust me.
05.21.08 (11:48 am) [
edit]
posted by:
squirrelzone (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (10:40 am)
Soory to here that Dave. Unfortunately I was set back a million dollars for all of the PD Banners, fliers and I even set up a huge concert/rally in honor of you. How does one re coop that type of financial hardship?
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (11:16 am)
dang man. And here i was, finally happy that there was a candidate I could vote for....
posted by:
OldSchool (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (11:26 am)
Ha,ha,ha. Funny stuff.
What about Charlize Theron???? Can she still be involved somehow?
posted by:
barnabus1 (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (11:40 am)
Awww Shucks!!! Here I thought I finally found someone I could vote for!!! SOL now!!! I'll pay for the newspaper ads I was running...as a contribution to the cause!!!
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (11:46 am)
I saw the video. Expect a bill for the therapy I'll need to recover.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (5:23 pm)
Reply to: squirrelzone
With a few alterations, you can easily convert the banners and bumper stickers into Obama or McCain material. The concert? I'll talk with the Obama & McCain people, and we will sell the rally to the highest bidder. I think you may actually make some money with this matter.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (5:25 pm)
Reply to: fractalmom
I did not want to go public with this particular matter, but I was deeply disappointed when you refused to be part of my Cabinet. It was a mitigating factor in my decision to drop out. Well, that and the video.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (5:26 pm)
Reply to: OldSchool
Charlize was my greatest stroke of genius with this would-be campaign. There is a bright future in politics for her.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (5:27 pm)
Reply to: barnabus1
Mighty generous the donation of those newspaper ads. May I ask what newspaper you were using? Grit? National Enquirer?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (5:28 pm)
Reply to: userfriendly
I'm truly puzzled about what Hilliary is up to. Whatever, I like it.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (5:29 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
You saw the video? I hope it is not on the internet. Actually, that is not me. Really.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (5:32 pm)
Reply to: kgurl1166
So, for you to vote for someone, that person must do the country some good? It has been a long time since I have even had the opportunity to vote for someone like that. Ha!
posted by:
squirrelzone (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (5:41 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Now I'm really gonna miss you as the head honcho because those were some sweet ideas on how to re coop my money :)
posted by:
barnabus1 (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (6:04 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Ahhhh you remember True Grit??? Twasn't that one!!! hehe
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (6:08 pm)
"So, for you to vote for someone, that person must do the country some good? It has been a long time since I have even had the opportunity to vote for someone like that."
Unfortunately, some of what you think would be good for the country would be awful and wrong.
I'd still probably vote for you though, in hopes you might see things clearer as time goes on, and so I could swing a night in the Lincoln bedroom.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (6:14 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
You would be welcome to stay in the Lincoln bedroom. But, none of those wild women can be with you. No hanky panky in the White House.
posted by:
sebastianjoshua (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (6:58 pm)
hey put me in your list... i want to serve White House... lol
btw... pls do visit my blog, Birds from Paradise
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
05.21.08 (8:00 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Forget it then. Geez.
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
05.22.08 (5:17 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
well, sorry PD. I made an oath to stay the heck away from cabinets....political or kitchen ;) and besides, it really WAS the video...no goody saying it wasn't you anyway...
viva viagra......singing merrily along....
posted by:
intricategirl (
reply)
post date:
05.22.08 (8:44 am)
"...if elected I will not serve."
I still don't see how this takes you out of the running. Have any elected officials actually SERVED?? Can you imagine what the government would look like if they did?!
Off the cynical note, I agree with some of your policies and disagree with others. I am indifferent towards the choice of Charlize Theron, and she could not hold the office anyway. But pick George Clooney, and I'll make sure that videotape disappears. In fact, there's several benefits to picking him. 1) It knocks Hillary out of the race, and that's worth it right there. 2) You'll have the female vote locked up. 3) You'll gain credibility among the latte-sipping, elite, Hollywood crowd. 4) You'd get to spend more time with your wife, since she'd be hanging out around the Oval Office all day, every day.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
05.26.08 (2:17 pm)
Reply to: intricategirl
Wait a minute. Put me next to George Clooney, compare physiques and facial features, consider matters like charm and taste and..... Well, I can see where this is headed. Forget it.
