Tough Guy
Just got a call from my son. He is about half an hour from the Marine Base at Paris Island, S.C. It was good to hear from him; we chatted just a bit, and he told me again that he loved me. Those words have been uncommon coming from my tough boy, but this is the second time in as many days. Yesterday it was time for him to leave. I thought I was handling matters quite well, but right when he was walking out the door... I cried like a baby. It involved tears, snot, blathering- the whole bit. Quite a spectacle. So he walked back into the house, gave me a big hug, and said those words. I think it made him feel rather awkward, because I'm usually pretty good at being rather stoic and in charge of myself. Well, it seems, except when the kids are making major transitions. I remember when my youngest girl stayed away one-too-many nights, and I knew it was up to me to make the break. The next day we cleaned out her room, locked the doors, and told her she could not come back. She was taken aback that I could be so tough. And unknown to her, I went into her empty room, and cried. And, I remember moving my oldest girl into her College dorm. It was up several flights of stairs- a hard day's work. I was o.k., until I saw the misty eyes of the mother of her roommate, and then I wept. Truly it must have been embarrassing- a bunch of women, and dear ole' dad weeping at the doorway.
He is scheduled to graduate from Boot Camp on August 29. This gives me 13 weeks to get into good physical condition, so I can continue to show him that I'm tougher than him. Since losing my dog and best pal, Bailey, I've been unable to resume my daily 3-mile-walk. It was our ritual. Today I took the walk, again. It was familiar grounds. And, arriving at the head of the trail, I opened up the glove compartment and saw his leash. It was just as I had left it, last time we took our walk together. I'll not bother to tell you my emotional reaction to that moment. The leash remains in my car.
I've begun a walking and swimming routine. It will be healthy, and for me it has always been good to begin a new ritual during times of major change. Tough guys do these kinds of things.
06.02.08 (9:12 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
06.02.08 (6:37 pm)
Great post.
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
06.02.08 (6:38 pm)
absolutely great post, and also, i am so sorry bailey has not come home...it makes me sad for you...so many transitions! xoxo
posted by:
triks (
reply)
post date:
06.02.08 (6:45 pm)
Wow, applaud to you my friend. Very good post.
-Cheers
Triks
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
06.02.08 (6:49 pm)
I agree ~ Great Post!
Why is it that men feel they can't show tears?
Is it considered a weakness?
I think it shows a huge heart!
((hugs))
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
06.02.08 (7:36 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
Thanks. Sometimes in life you have to just grit your teethe and bull your way through. But not all the time. I've been learning that lesson for the last 20 or so years.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
06.02.08 (7:38 pm)
Reply to: mimi
I miss that do so very much. My wife has gotten another dog. And he is a fine dog. A Shit-zu. Ugly little thing. But he is not MY Bailey. He is a fat little rolly-polly, who can manage about 5 steps before he flops down and takes a nap. He'd never be able to survive a 3 1/2 mile walk, unlike my Bailey.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
06.02.08 (7:39 pm)
Reply to: triks
Thanks. Maybe, unlike the popular phrase, "Parenting IS for cowards"?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
06.02.08 (7:41 pm)
Reply to: auntconi
Well, I can take a few well-placed tears from a man. But, I get a bit uncomfortable around a guy that cries all the time. I'd rather hang out with the bunch of guys in the commercial who sit around jamming about Viva Viagra. Now, those guys aren't crying.
posted by:
OldSchool (
reply)
post date:
06.02.08 (8:31 pm)
Thanks, as always, for sharing. Good luck in your preparation.
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
06.02.08 (8:47 pm)
:)
((hugs))
posted by:
squirrelzone (
reply)
post date:
06.03.08 (6:13 am)
I think the toughest guys don't really care about showing real emotions and so I say to you kind sir is that you're one tough son of a gun.
posted by:
Barbara (
reply)
post date:
06.03.08 (7:13 am)
Made me tear up, just reading this. He's gone, but only temporarily, cause you know he is part of the 'boomerang' generation. He'll be back and cluttering up your house in no time. Except he'll be a man then, and not a kid anymore. He's going to be all right. And you, too.
posted by:
toztee (
reply)
post date:
06.03.08 (7:18 am)
Yep. I knew you would. AND...I'm glad you did. That's your boy and it was good for him to see the depth of your emotions for a change. It won't hurt you to soften up once in a while. Just don't get too gushy when I'm around. Not sure I'd know how to behave, I might have to hug you.
posted by:
rosietulips (
reply)
post date:
06.03.08 (10:16 am)
*passes PastorDave a tissue*
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
06.03.08 (11:47 am)
Who knew you were such a softie? Touching post.
