Easy Way To Hate Someone - A Primer
It is easy to dislike him from afar. And, I've been cultivating this matter of extreme abhorrence for quite a while. Notice I carefully avoid the word "hate". It has no place in polite and correct Christian vocabulary. Of course I love the guy! Simply, I have almost total disdain (notice, I did not use the "h" word) for all things about him: appearance, mannerism, thought, words, how he expresses his words, etc. My attitude toward him is the cultivated result of disagreements and clashes over many things, and usually spiritual issues. Without saying, concerning all of these matters of God and morality and church, I've been right and he has been wrong. Therefore my opinion of him has continued to plummet. For the Higher Cause, I've feigned kindness. And I've only let a few of my most righteous associates know of how I truly feel. That way, they can help me pray for this man's soul. And I do pray for Him. I don't presume to tell God what to do. If He wants to bring about a conversion, so be it. Or move him to another community, far from here.... Or kill him.
If he would only stay distant- across the world, or at least across the room- then I could continue to carefully nurture my attitude and strategy of righteous disdain. But yesterday we found ourselves at the same table, discussing a matter of mutual concern and rare agreement. Surely I could question his motives for being there, and even his twisted reasons for participating in anything associated with my Noble Cause. Still, there we sat. Of course, obligatory conversation ensued. His daughter has a rare health condition. I did not know that. He will need to get a haircut later in the day. He and the extended family- he's very close to his parents and grandchildren- will go to their favorite restaurant later in the evening. We discussed and strategized about our common project. And, through it all, he seemed mostly reasonable. And quite human. And, if it were possible... even likable.
This will surely not do. He's expended far too much effort earning my dislike. And this has become a matter of heart to me. I've used great energy and time and creativity in developing a sound, reasonable, and deeply-seated disdain for this man.
Soon, our meeting will be over. He will go his way, and I will go mine. Then it will be easier.
06.16.08 (11:52 am) [
edit]
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
06.16.08 (5:57 pm)
Funny how that works, isn't it?
-And, for instance, one of the best reasons for American Presidents to meet with our enemies. It's WAY easier to hate people if you know nothing about them. God forbid any common ground be found.
Ah, but conservatives think that's ALWAYS a bad idea.
Careful there, fellow. You wouldn't want to start seeing any reasonableness in such ideas.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
06.16.08 (7:37 pm)
You make a good point, and an obvious connection. When you dare to talk with someone, and seek connection, then it becomes much harder to depersonalize and therefore justify aggression. I think a wonderful legacy for Reagan was his willingness to get to know Gorbachev. Probably, their strange friendship saved countless lives. So, I think we should talk with Iran, and anybody else for that matter. If you enter into the conversation with strength, you have nothing to fear.
Thanks. I was actually hoping you would come along and make this point. It is kind of strange and yet good to get to know a fellow blogger in such manner.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
06.17.08 (3:29 pm)
Reply to: kurtmaddox
No way, my friend! With marriage you will mellow, and with time will join the local SBC church. You will serve on the Pastor-Search Committee, and I will become your pastor. And, your wife will serve us brownies as we study the Bible together.
So, do I make a good prophet?
posted by:
Favein (
reply)
post date:
06.20.08 (9:52 pm)
An image of the person comes into the mind, we see a certain event that person does and become fearful of it. We staple the label "Annoying" on his image, then "Greedy", then "Angry", etc. We in no way fear the person more than we fear the monstrous image we created. Sometimes the impression of the man comes and attacks us during a dream...and it seems so lifelike! Yet, our pride tells us that we are superior, and it continues taking care of the image, because we enjoy it. We desire to do something, but what will it lead to? All our negative thoughts and actions simply come back to us in full...an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
