The Turtle Man
Well, no. So we walked out back to see her husband’s menagerie of animals, including his collection of turtles. He was at the other end of the yard, doing something under the hood of a car. When he saw us, he strolled over our way. He is a friendly guy with a ready smile. I like him. And he has let it be known that he intends to never join the church, although he will attend regularly and help whenever he can. Of course I will be working on him, and somewhere along the way I intend for us to reconsider the issue. But, now is the time for him to proudly display his animal collection.
His wife affectionately refers to him as Dr. Doolittle. But I am thinking also a bit of Dr. Jeckel within this guy. Apparently, any unfortunate animal that happens to stroll into the yard becomes a captive in his backyard zoo. Various sizes and shapes of homemade pens and cages are strategically located around about an acre of shady landscape. And peering from within are lots of sets of eyes. Stray dogs and cats now live behind bars, albeit with plenty of food and water. There is a raccoon and opossum, mercifully separated with a wall. He has an assortment of roosters- they are not for fighting, he insists, although I wonder. Cockfighting is a fringe sport in this area. He has a cage filled with pigeons. They are carrier pigeons, but of course they never carry anything but their fat little bellies from one side of the cage to the other. There is a pond filled with what appear to be carp, but I discover later they are overgrown goldfish.
And, of interest for the moment is the turtle collection. He proudly tells me there are six. I’m no expert, but I think they are terrapins. And, please do not ask me the difference. I wonder where he secured these turtles, and he tells me that over the last five years all have wandered into his yard. Poor creatures, I think to myself, too slow to escape. As if he is reading my mind, he offers, “You, know, these little guys are fast. I tell you, a turtle is fast! A couple of times they have escaped, and they were lined up, going really fast. But I caught ‘em!” There appears to me an evil smile upon his face.
I feel sorry for the poor, imprisoned creatures. Surely they would rather be in the stream, about a quarter mile away, or somewhere in the field behind the house? I would like to sneak over, late one night, to secretly open all cages. And I would likely do so, except….. The guy has an ever-so-slight and almost imperceptible tinge of craze to his demeanor. There is probably a shotgun nearby, and willingness on his part to do what would be deemed necessary to protect his “family” of imprisoned animals. Also, far into the corner of the lot, is an unmarked shed with a padlock on the door. Perhaps it was my imagination, but as I remember the visit, I think I heard some banging noises coming from the door. Perhaps locked inside that shed is the last guy who messed with the animals? Probably, he gets plenty to eat. None of the animals are neglected. And maybe, by now, he has become accustomed to his wire cage?
Finally, we have installed Satellite TV at our house. We now get a thousand channels, and rarely can I find anything worth watching. I've settled onto Sci-Fi channel and Chiller. This would make a good episode for either.
