Just A Tiny Little Spat With A Funeral Director
I guess this incident is a reminder, to naive folks like myself, that a Funeral Home is foremost a business and not a ministry. They wear suits and play soft music. The decor certainly reminds you of a house of worship, and there are lots of religious undertones with the proceedings. But I am a bit irritated with what transpired tonight.
I will be conducting the funeral tomorrow for a longstanding member of the church and community. Several hundred people will be present. The family requested that a hymn be sung as part of the service. So I called the funeral home office and told the man in charge that we would need copies of the song for those who will be present. He seemed tired and a bit irritated, even though he promised me earlier this would be no problem. He said that he could probably make 30 or 40 copies, but no more, because too much time and cost would be involved. Then he had the nerve to ask if my church had the equipment to make the copies? I told him yes, but my church is not in charge of the funeral. He was silent for several seconds, and I am thinking he was a bit surprised that I would counter so directly. Then he said o.k., that he would see what he could do.
Here is my thinking behind my insistence that the Funeral Home provide this service for the family:
This funeral is not being provided free, or even cheap. My educated guess is that the cost of this funeral will be between six and ten thousand dollars. And several hundred dollars of that cost will include the use of the chapel and the funeral service. As the pastor of this fine family, I am actually providing a valuable service for the business. Therefore, since I believe the Funeral Home and by extension the workers are making a healthy profit from this family, I think they should do whatever is necessary to accommodate. A little extra time, a few ounces of ink- likely there is an "incidentals" category included with the funeral bill.
Personally, I would really like to see the funeral business be more competitive and open to mass marketing.
*Why not buy your casket online, or at Costco? Actually, you can do both!
*I think it is wise to make your funeral arrangements and purchases ahead of time, precluding the influences of guilt and raw emotions and shady salesmen.
*Heck, in my opinion, what is wrong with a cardboard, biodegradable casket, instead of gold and mahogany?
*Cremation? It saves money, space, and simply speeds the inevitable journey to ashes and dust.
I think a funeral is a valuable, even necessary event. It helps with closure. It is an opportunity for grief and then encouragement, and both are healthy phases to work through. I just have some problems with the "funeral business".
08.08.08 (10:44 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
squirrelzone (
reply)
post date:
08.09.08 (8:30 am)
You want for my first assignment to go and pay a little visit to the funneral director and show him my little friend, the poking stick? I mean I'm not an advocate of violence (will for family and self preservation) but he doesns't know that.
posted by:
Lisa (
reply)
post date:
08.09.08 (8:59 am)
funerals and the realities associated with them rarely cross my mind, but when they do, i find the whole embalming process bizarre and unnatural. and we have all see the corpses done up with so much make-up that they look nothing like their former selves. I am also a big fan of creamation. once I am dead and gone, I don't care what you do with my body! i will be busy with other stuff.
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
08.09.08 (12:11 pm)
I can't believe he'd make an issue of copies when he runs a lucrative business where customer satisfaction is of the utmost importance. Maybe he's just lazy.
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
08.11.08 (10:27 pm)
I agree with Bawdy ~ it sure sounds like he is "Lazy" and that is with a "capital" L!!! He should be ashamed!
posted by:
intricategirl (
reply)
post date:
08.12.08 (11:13 am)
That disgusts me.
Some people think it's morbid, but I am considering getting a tattoo that says I am an organ donor. Take anything you can, pass it out, donate the leftovers to science, medicine, or the Body Farm, and hold a good, old-fashioned Irish wake. No funeral for me- if you don't feel the need to celebrate my life, then I haven't lived it right, and you shouldn't bother mourning me anyway.
posted by:
Kurt's Sis (
reply)
post date:
08.21.08 (1:10 pm)
I'm all about cremation, after everything that can be donated has been donated...everything else freaks me out. I don't want to be in a box in the ground, I can't even stand to think about it. I'd rather be the cadaver for some hot new medical student frankly :p
posted by:
fairmoon (
reply)
post date:
08.25.08 (2:32 pm)
my mother was the office admin. of our church for years and organized many a funeral. She always said that a funeral is for the people left behind. Thankfully our church doesn't proft from the grief of others, just covers costs. I don't like the notion of funeral homes.
I like the cardboard box, and/or cremation and a service to celebrate life.
