2 Jokes, Short and Bad and I Like 'Em
A happily married man had only one complaint: his wife was always nursing sick birds. One evening he came home to find a woodpecker with a splint on its beak sitting in his favorite chair. In another chair was a condor wrapped in a blanket, while in the kitchen his wife was comforting a shivering little wren that she had found in the snow. The furious husband strode over to where his wife was towelling down the cold little bird. "I can't stand this anymore," he yelled. "We've got to get ride of all these darned...!" "Please, dear," she said, cutting him off in mid-curse. "Not in front of the chilled wren."
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A mechanic got hooked on drinking brake fluid. His friend became seriously concerned. "You've got to give it up," he insisted. "Brake fluid is poisonous." "Don't worry," said the mechanic. "I can stop any time."
08.18.08 (10:06 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
08.18.08 (8:23 pm)
yuck yuck... good groaners.
posted by:
barnabus1 (
reply)
post date:
08.18.08 (8:47 pm)
groan...groan!!
posted by:
squirrelzone (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (5:22 am)
The chilled wren, the chilled wren for heavens sake somebody help the chilled wren!
posted by:
OldSchool (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (6:56 am)
You did not lie... they were both short and bad, but (groan) only technically qualify as jokes.
posted by:
rosietulips (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (9:20 am)
BWAHAHA Love the groaners!
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (12:32 pm)
You are a punny guy.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (1:59 pm)
Reply to: kurtmaddox
I admit to blatant emotional manipulation. Who can resist the plea for a cause wrapped around the needs of chilled wren?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (2:03 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
A good groaner? Here's one....
Wife and husband step into the Dentist's Office. She says, "We don't have time for anesthetics. Just take your pliars and yank it out!" The dentist replies: "Well, I certainly admire your bravery. Mam, which tooth needs to be pulled?"
She responds: "Honey, open your mouth and show him the tooth."
What do you think?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (2:04 pm)
Reply to: barnabus1
Groan? It won't be long until the chilled wren will be groan.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (2:05 pm)
Reply to: squirrelzone
Alright, we've got to put a stop to these bad puns.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (2:06 pm)
Reply to: OldSchool
Wait a minute. Only technically qualify as jokes? This is some of my best stuff. As I remember, this was included in one of my final sermons at the last church, from which I was fired.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (2:08 pm)
Reply to: rosietulips
Groaners? It all happens so fast. One of these days, you will open your eyes, and the chilled wren will all be groaners.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
08.19.08 (2:09 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
Punny guy? Chilled wren like to play with a punny pabbit.
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
08.20.08 (3:09 am)
haahaha ~ I liked them ~ and as always, you 'tell it like it is' ~ hehehe
