And, Sometimes, Mary Has To Hurt Herself
In the course of general interaction while at church, a teenage girl asked me twice to visit at her home. She and her family are new to our fellowship, and church is a new matter in their lives, and so I truly intended to make the connection. However time has been short and I’ve found myself with lots of reasons to do other things. And so the news hit me like a brick when I learned this same young lady had attempted suicide.
I am not a therapist. I am not a Bible scholar. I try to love people and lead our church to reflect Christ to the world around. And I think this time I messed up. Necessary is a sensitivity to be able to distinguish what is most important from the rest, which may call for our attention but still can wait. This girl has a very tough life at home. She is loved by her family, but there is so very much that has been dysfunctional for so very long. And so she reached the breaking point. How very sad.
Later today her mom and I will go to the hospital to give her a ride home. Her father, whom I suspect to be an abusive man, wanted to take her far away. I think we put a stop to that. We will do some talking. And I will seek to work hard to be a presence for love and goodness in the life of this family. Surely professional therapy is needed, and I am thankful we live in a place where such is made available. But, again, so many conflicting dynamics are at play- family, social, religious- and just plain ole’ ignorance, embedded and enforced. But I do believe that the love of Christ breaks through all such devices and works miracles.
Life is hard. This little girl deserves better. I’m glad to have another chance.
12.23.08 (3:19 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
barnabus1 (
reply)
post date:
12.23.08 (12:51 pm)
Even had you visited, in a family setting she may not have shared the extreme hurts she is experiencing!! But now you know!! and have a good leg up in dealing with her...Perhaps that is even more important!! An attempted suicide is almost always a cry for help...hopefully she will now get that help!! Those who feel they are beyond all help don't attempt..they usually succeed!
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
12.23.08 (1:00 pm)
I'm glad she wasn't successful, and hope she can get the help she needs. Don't be hard on yourself. It is a busy time of year for everyone, and you couldn't have known how desperate she was to connect with someone.
posted by:
rosietulips (
reply)
post date:
12.23.08 (1:21 pm)
Don't blame yourself! At least you still have a chance to help her.
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
12.23.08 (4:09 pm)
Love her as Jesus would, but I'd suggest not invoking his name too much to her just now.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
12.23.08 (9:35 pm)
Reply to: barnabus1
It is an extreme call for help. Always I take seriously such talk and behavior. Many years ago at my first church, I spent a good bit of time trying to minister to a man with lots of problems- a bad marriage, substance abuse, depression. Then, one day, I received word he had placed a gun into his mouth and pulled the trigger. I can hardly conceive the kind of personal pain and agony that would lead to such an action. Surely there is hope for a person... Well, I know there is. I can point this person toward the answer.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
12.23.08 (9:38 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
You are right. How very desperate she was, and is. The challenge is that she gives the appearance of having things under control. She is extremely neat and attractive, and has a bubbly personality and ready smile. I guess we all can be very good at playing a role, and therefore deceiving others.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
12.23.08 (9:39 pm)
Reply to: rosietulips
Today we talked a bit. She has promised to give me a call the day after Christmas, and we will get together for an extended conversation. I'll not let this one fall by the wayside.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
12.23.08 (9:42 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
This young lady, as far as I can tell, is not too much into religion. And that's probably a good thing. Faith and religion are not part of her charade. So hopefully I can guide her toward faith and prayer as sources of strength. But you are quite right, I believe, that a loving presence is most vital to her at this time.
posted by:
Ladyg (
reply)
post date:
12.23.08 (11:26 pm)
SO happy that she felt that she could reach out to you, that is so very important during these trying times. I have come across so many depressed people.
The need is great PD, thank you for being available for her this time, May God bless you as you minister to her and hopefully the rest of her family.
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
12.24.08 (5:11 am)
i am glad the Father gave you, and her another chance.
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
12.25.08 (11:20 pm)
I am also glad she has another chance and it is so sad that she had to resort to that action ~ but perhaps this is the way it had to be for the reasons to be known ~ I'll pray things work out for her! ~ and for you as you comfort and guide her!
(hug)
