This Time My Daughter's Boyfriend Stepped Over The Line
He dates my daughter. And justifiably so, I do not like him. Given another circumstance, any circumstance, and we would get along fine. He is a smart enough guy. But his heart is not focused very meaningfully upon his College studies, which would be o.k., except that he dates my daughter. He is not overly religious. Although, I see potential and think he would be worth the effort. So I would be diligently seeking to draw him into the faith if he were dating the daughter of someone else. He's soft-spoken, and seems genuinely humble. But I just wish he would leave my little girl of 23 years alone. Alas, the guy still hangs around even after two years of my somber treatment.
This Christmas, he gained my respect as a formidable foe in this battle for my daughter's heart.
On Christmas morning we exchanged gifts. Once again my daughter insisted upon inviting the guy over. I've grown accustomed to him hanging out in the shadows. I'm not mean to him. Just, a bit cool. Cool, with a smile, and oh-so-brief conversation. The morning went quite well. All the gifts and pleasantries made for a good time. Then, the guy brought out his gift for my wife and I. What? And it was not some inane, quite forgettable, last-second throw-in. Instead, he produced a handsomely framed and matted reproduction of the Salvador Dali masterpiece, Christ Of St. John Of The Cross. Immediately my attention was riveted upon such a thoughtful gift. From this guy! I scanned the painting, the muscles of the shoulders, the engulfing darkness, the brilliant statement of utter despair as our Lord made the ultimate sacrifice. The guy talked a bit about Dali, and of his own interpretation of the work. Again, he did so with that annoying humility and kindness toward which I just can't grasp a good and solid dislike.
We hung it upon the wall, and there I sat in my recliner, contemplating such a fine gift. Yep, the guy pulled one over on me this time. He didn't fight fair.
Later, on my way to a family get-together, I stopped at a local drugstore and bought the guy a $25 gift card to Red Lobster. I instructed my daughter to pass it along, and tell him I had it in my pocket all along and just forgot. Yes, it was a low and transparent lie that fooled no one.
And I just know, absolutely know, the guy carries it in his pocket as a trophy. So he will reach into that pocket, and feel of that card, and just smile. I can picture the smile. Soft, reserved, a smile I have not liked.
So he will know, this time, he won. And I give him credit. He is a most worthy opponent.
12.26.08 (9:33 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
tampi (
reply)
post date:
12.26.08 (7:39 pm)
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
12.26.08 (7:46 pm)
Reply to: tampi
Certainly lots of wisdom in this verse. Indeed, I would like to make them in my image, and find it frustrating that they do not cooperate. Especially when I'm pretty sure I know what is best...
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
12.26.08 (9:20 pm)
Great post. I find the idea of a Red Lobster Gift card as a retaliatory strike either just perfect or utterly lame, and honestly, I'm not sure which. -Very funny situation, in any case.
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
12.26.08 (9:40 pm)
After reading your did a search and at wikipedia found a photo of your gift, as well as some history.
I tried to post the site, but tblog would not allow me to do that ~ so if you want to you will have to look for it yourself ~ I wasn't copying the photo, just the site for the info ~ oh well, enjoy your gift!
posted by:
LadyG (
reply)
post date:
12.27.08 (1:01 am)
You are playing a good game PD but you are not going to win this one, not as long as she love him. He seems like a decent guy, That was a very nice gift.
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
12.27.08 (8:39 am)
DANG !!! Don't you HATE it when that happens to you?
We raise them to judge people on how they act, what they do and the inner person, then...
when they do it and we don't like their choice for whatever reason.....and have to face the idea that they are grown people now, that sux.
BEst of the fight to you PD...
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
12.27.08 (1:31 pm)
Haha, did he mention that he also painted it himself?
posted by:
KurtMaddox (
reply)
post date:
12.27.08 (11:35 pm)
Um, PD -- at 23, your daughter's manfriend isn't supposed to be your "worthy opponent"! lol! Just think if she brought ME home for Christmas? Ha! Ha! (Remember, my wife's 25 and was 22 when we started dating.)
Now THAT would be some SURREALISM for you!!!!
Merry Christmas, old pal! You'll want to check out my "Xmas" post at gneognostic dot blogspot dot com ;-)
posted by:
spook102956 (
reply)
post date:
12.30.08 (5:00 am)
Kind of in the same situation only my daughter is 17 and is just coming from a relationship that has her heart-broken and now another "friend" that other parents have warned me about is hanging around. I have told him, "Don't touch my daughter, don't hurt my daughter." My husband is nicer to him than I am. Our daughter is strong-willed and he fears we will run her off from us. My heart goes out to you. Maybe your "young man" is really a decent guy I only wish I could think my dau's "friend" was. Pray for us and any suggestions would be appreciated from anyone.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.02.09 (4:38 pm)
Reply to: spook102956
It's been a very long time since I played the game of dating, but even I recall that a very good way to move in on a girl that is really "out of your league" is to feign to be her friend when she is on the rebound! Watch him closely, and warn your daughter. Then, I guess, you'll have to trust her. "Trust, but verify"- Reagan's approach to the Russians, and it still makes sense today.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.02.09 (4:40 pm)
Reply to: KurtMaddox
Kurt, I'll be straight and say that yes, it would disturb me greatly if my daughter were to bring you home! Quite an age span there. I can stand back and simply be observant, and take the attitude that if it works for the couple then who am I to judge. But, my daughter? Come on! It would be time for a shotgun, I think.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.02.09 (4:41 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
Naah- he didn't paint it. His involvement in "art" most often has something to do with a PlayStation III.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.02.09 (4:43 pm)
Reply to: fractalmom
You are right- I am not completely ready to acknowledge she is an adult. She lives on her own, makes sufficient income, etc. Darn it... I don't like it.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.02.09 (4:45 pm)
Reply to: LadyG
Love? She loves him? Now, who says? True, they have been dating, exclusively, for two years. True, she has no interest in any other guys, although several let her know they are attracted to her. But.... lets just leave the L word out of this...
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.02.09 (4:46 pm)
Reply to: auntconi
Wikipedia. I like the site. Sometimes it plays loose with the details, but it still a heck of deal, compared to the fees for Britannica or Microsoft.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.02.09 (4:47 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
He was over for dinner tonight, my wife's idea. I played it cool, as usual. He offered to repair the dishwasher. Obviously, this guy is getting the best of me. Maybe next week we go to Red Lobster, and I conveniently forget my wallet...
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
01.02.09 (9:34 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Perfect.
posted by:
KurtMaddox (
reply)
post date:
01.03.09 (12:48 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Ah, c'mon, Dave -- I'd make you a great son-in-law! ha ha I don't drink, take drugs, curse, smoke or mistreat animals. I go to church more than once per day many Sundays and we could discuss the Bible and blogging until the wee hours of the morning.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
01.03.09 (5:06 pm)
Reply to: KurtMaddox
When I intimate that I want my daughter to marry someone like me, I do not mean someone my age! I know I've a few years on you, very few, although I think I could beat you in a game of one-on-one. I almost made the B-Team one year.
posted by:
idiotbubble (
reply)
post date:
01.16.09 (8:24 am)
Well, he seems to be a very sweet guy. I mean, he still hangs around after your two years of "cool", it shows how much they love each other. Maybe you should stop it with the "cool" and go along with him, maybe really dig into his soul to see what he is REALLY like. Who knows? You might just love him. :)
