What Kind Of Fool Do You Think I Am?
Part 2, Toward A Better Understanding Of Substance Abuse
She and her daughters have visited my church a few times. But, I do not know either very well. So, I was surprised when she walked up to me at a restaurant and asked if we could talk in private? We walked back to a corner area and sat down at a bench.
She asked if I was aware of the trouble her young adult daughter was experiencing? I remembered the young lady as being popular and involved in High School, and recalled she had moved somewhere up North to pursue pretty good job offer. And I also faintly remembered that she had some unpleasant experiences with a gang a few years back. So I asked the mom if this was what she was referencing? No. That matter had been resolved and was no longer a concern.
And then she relayed to me the sordid story. Her daughter was out late, one night, drinking with some of her friends. The person with whom she rode to the bar was now too intoxicated to drive, and asked the daughter to take the wheel. Along the way they came to a four-way-stop. Another vehicle arrived at the same time, and somehow both cars collided in the middle of the road. It was a violent crash, and the driver of the other vehicle was killed. Now, this lady’s daughter must stand trial for vehicular homicide and faces twelve years in prison. The DA’s office in our community is know to take a hard approach to such matters, and will likely press for the full sentence with no mercy.
The mom, with tears in her eyes and halting voice, asked if I would write a letter to the Judge and District Attorney attesting to her character and pleading for leniency?
I have been thinking a good bit about this matter. What if it were my daughter? Certainly I would not want her to spend twelve years in prison. Youthful indiscretion and foolishness are certainly understandable. But, what if it were my daughter who was killed by a drunk driver? I would certainly want justice, and likely want revenge. I have found, as I journey deeper into life, that I tend more and more to err on the side of mercy. So I will probably write the letter.
For sure, a foolish decision to drink-and-drive is now the ruin of many lives. I can hardly imagine a bigger fool.
02.03.09 (4:11 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
barnabus1 (
reply)
post date:
02.03.09 (1:53 pm)
I totally agree with you...Mercy is the far better course!!!
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
02.03.09 (2:01 pm)
Was she legally drunk at the time?
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
02.03.09 (2:57 pm)
Wow. Tough decision.
posted by:
rosietulips (
reply)
post date:
02.03.09 (3:34 pm)
What a difficult letter to write.
posted by:
Ladyg (
reply)
post date:
02.03.09 (4:39 pm)
A nice thing to do PD, probably won't sway the judge one bit. My pastor recently traveled to Hawaii to speak on a former members character, paid for by the military. I knew that his character was terrible because he left a wife and 3 young children behind to marry another woman.
3 weeks later they still booted him out of the marines.
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
02.03.09 (6:11 pm)
wow.
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
02.04.09 (11:33 am)
One foolish mistake can turn one's world upside down!
What a shame!
You hardly know this woman and her daughter and she asks YOU to write a letter attesting to her daughter's character ~ wow ~ touch choice is right!!!
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
02.04.09 (1:06 pm)
Was the title a rhetorical question or would you like a sincere response?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.05.09 (6:21 am)
Reply to: barnabus1
When I perceive to have been wronged by someone, my initial desire is for revenge. Hopefully, after a time of reflection, I'll temper myself and move to seeking justice. But, if I will pray long and hard about the matter, and do some needed reflection, then my heart will move toward mercy. Certainly throughout my life others who have loved me have granted to me much kinder treatment than I have deserved. Doubly is this true concerning God. By definition, of course the recipient does not deserve it. And often I do not have the desire to give it. But, most often, it is needed.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.05.09 (6:22 am)
Reply to: bawdy
Yes. She had been in the bar for quite some time, taking full advantage of free drinks.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.05.09 (6:24 am)
Reply to: surrogate
Again yesterday I spent a few minutes in conversation with the mother. She seems to have aged quite a bit.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.05.09 (6:25 am)
Reply to: rosietulips
It will be straightforward with no fluff. Likely the recipients will scan through the letters. These guys face such decisions multiple times every day, so it will be difficult to temper their hearts with mercy.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.05.09 (6:29 am)
Reply to: Ladyg
Interesting. Likely what you know about the suspect character of this person- so knows your pastor. It sounds like he was faced with a similar dilemma- wanting to believe and hope and seek the best for this person, while knowing that the justice system had a much harder view of him than the church. And I understand. While justice needs to be tempered with mercy, so many people are quite willing to abuse anyone willing to show even a tinge of kindness.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.05.09 (6:30 am)
Reply to: fractalmom
You truly have a way with words.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.05.09 (6:33 am)
Reply to: auntconi
These parents are desperate. She admits that her daughter will likely spend some time in jail, and begrudgingly admits that she deserves some punishment. But, the mom is fearful of her child spending twelve years in jail. I would like to see the judge provide some kind of creative and dificult sentence, including lots of community service, insistence upon sobriety, heavy financial compensation toward the family, etc. Around here, though, "gunslinger" judges and lawyers like to show how very tough they can be.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.05.09 (6:36 am)
Reply to: bawdy
Spare me the honest response, please. All I have to do is look in the mirror, or read some of my previous posts. It's rhetorical. Look the word up in the dictionary.
posted by:
fractalmom (
reply)
post date:
02.05.09 (4:15 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
that is why I am so glad it is YOU who are the pastor, and I who is merely a parishioner. I don't ever have to make those tough calls.
Course, like my priest always says...
"I do not judge. That's my Boss's job."
