Lost At The Mall- A Valentines Story
I went to the mall today and got lost.
My intentions were good, to buy my wife something nice for Valentines Day. Now I have a habit of leaving my car in a parking lot and being oblivious to where it is parked. It is a one-track-mind. And this lack of bearings was in full-gear a few hours ago. Roaming around the mall, I knew what I wanted. Pajamas. No, not the pink-laced teddy bear stuff. We have been married for 27 years, and if I am going to continue to sleep next to this lady, then I want her to be wearing something that will keep me warm. So I was searching for thick, flannel pajamas with a nice valentine-y theme. And I found them. Interestingly, the skimpy stuff appeared to be selling from the racks rather quickly, while the pajamas I wanted were marked down 40%. The young guy standing in front of me was buying some red little gartered outfit, and I could not help but notice the forbidding price tag. But he did have a big smile upon his face.
Leaving the store, I could not remember where I was parked. This is a more modern-type mall facility, with lots of corridors, bends and turns. It is nothing like the old type malls, which consisted of one long building surrounded by a giant parking lot. So, I started walking around, looking for stores that I would remember. I saw Fredrick's Of Hollywood, displaying the pajamas I was not wanting to buy. And I saw several smiling guys entering that store. I saw an ice cream shoppe, and bought a $4 double scoop. Chocolate and butter pecan, I do remember. Nothing else prompted my memory. So I began a systematic journey around the periphery, checking every exit. This took at least 30 minutes. Next I walked outside, with the intention to circle the mall and watch for my car along the way. Soon I realized this would not be a good idea, since in many places there are no sidewalks, and it would be at least a two mile walk. I contemplated calling someone and pleading for help, but realized such would make me look rather foolish, and especially if said rescuer recognized that I bought my wife flannel pajamas.
Then it hit me that probably the reason I could not find my entrance/exit was because I had entered through a little used corridor. Yes, that was it! Faintly I remembered a long bare wall, and several closed stores. I rounded the corner from Belk's, and there it was! Quickly I zoomed out the door, relieved and rejuvenated. Then I realized my car was still lost, somewhere in a sea of about a thousand look-alike vehicles. So I started walking up and down, row after row of cars. About an hour later and I was home, feet hurting, and pajamas in hand.
Isn't that pitiful?
But, I can't wait until my wife sees her new pajamas. You know what? Looking over these things.... they are pretty with big pink hearts. I just grabbed a pair, without considering size. These have XXX-Large on the tag. She will not care, will she?
02.14.09 (2:21 pm) [
edit]
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
02.14.09 (12:14 pm)
She will care. She may not say anything, but she WILL care.
Goof.
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
02.14.09 (1:07 pm)
You may regret finding your car. Have fun sleeping on the couch.
posted by:
emerging (
reply)
post date:
02.14.09 (1:46 pm)
I sincerely hope you're kidding about the size. Women have killed for less than that!
posted by:
emerging (
reply)
post date:
02.14.09 (1:47 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
You should really hook PD up with a little custom work so he can tell his car from the 1000's of others just like it!
posted by:
barnabus1 (
reply)
post date:
02.14.09 (2:03 pm)
Tis a horrible feeling!! I took an evening class at our civic center, came out and my car was gone...stolen?, then getting further lost, I walked the wrong way...away from town, down a long mile and a half road and came to a store...called for help!! reported the "theft" to police...they called that it was parked on the N side of the building...went and got my car...totally demolished!!!
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
02.14.09 (6:18 pm)
Reply to: emerging
Maybe he just needs a little orange styrofoam ball on his antenna.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.16.09 (6:24 am)
Reply to: surrogate
She wore her new pajamas, just to be nice. I like them. I may return to the mall to buy myself a matching pair. If I can find the store.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.16.09 (6:25 am)
Reply to: bawdy
The couch is not too comfortable. But, I like the recliner. My question, why does the man have to sleep on the couch? Isn't that unfair, and sexist?
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.16.09 (6:34 am)
Reply to: emerging
Hanging on the rack, all clothes look the same. I did not bother to check the size. I should have. I REALLY SHOULD HAVE.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.16.09 (6:38 am)
Reply to: emerging
Concerning the custom work that would make my car distinguishable... Someone asked me why I did not simply press the button on my key to briefly engage the anti-theft alarm? This person obviously does not realize the kind of car that I drive. Likely I could leave my keys in the car, paste a sign on the windshield saying "Take It", and it would still be sitting in the same place at the end of the day. It is theft-proof for many reasons having nothing to do with locks and alarms.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.16.09 (6:40 am)
Reply to: surrogate
I don't do styrofoam balls on the antenna. I don't do custom license plates. I don't do bumper stickers. Now, fuzzy dice I find to be attractive.
posted by:
rosietulips (
reply)
post date:
02.16.09 (1:04 pm)
Oh PD, you were so sweet to go on a trek for pajamas!
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
02.16.09 (1:05 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
Men get the couch because women will withhold sex. That tactic doesn't work if men try it on women because they'll give in eventually.
posted by:
intricategirl (
reply)
post date:
02.17.09 (1:50 pm)
Helpful hint for next year- really expensive jewelry stores aren't located in malls, so you won't lose your car. Beautiful diamond necklaces don't come with size tags (though the rings do). You'll be warm because your wife will snuggle with you after getting this present. And it's perfect for getting out of the doghouse after this year.
posted by:
Ladyg (
reply)
post date:
02.18.09 (6:00 pm)
LOL great story PD, I bet she loved them.
posted by:
PirateGirl (
reply)
post date:
02.24.09 (7:12 pm)
hope you went back for flowers ;)
lol - very sweet PD
