Cursing And Cussing And Grace
Strictly defined, a curse is a formula of words intended to bring calamity or misfortune upon another. Many have believed, throughout history, the ability to call down a curse upon others with an exacting string of words. Such sounds quite primitive to me. I've never even considered calling upon the forces of darkness to bring sickness or injury upon someone with whom I am offended. When I was irritated at the elevator that suddenly would not function, certainly I was not wishing for it to implode or melt in fervent heat. In the past, I've had persons use rather salty language in expressing dislike or disapproval toward me, but I am pretty sure they were not seeking a literal realization of their verbal barbs. I have no intent to go to Hell, and no fear from the occasional contrary wishes of another.
Vulgarity
As I understand, it is the intentional use of words that lack good taste and propriety, and often refer to crude subjects like embarrassing bodily functions and excrement. Think about red-neck humor, Larry The Cable Guy & company, ...surrogate. Now I will be honest- I did not grow up having breakfast at Tiffany's, and so I can appreciate the humor within crudeness. But I also know that in the context of most social settings and relationships in which I find myself, such is just not appropriate.
Blasphemy
It is a contempt for God expressed in thought, word, or action. Out of reverence for God, I steer clear of blasphemy. I believe God loves me, and try to live and relate in a manner that expresses love in return. As it would be injurious to hear the name of my wife or child used in contempt, even more so I am quite uncomfortable to hear a verbal insult of God. Oh, I think God can handle such. Likely there will be no bolt of lightning in store for the next person who shakes a fist at God. And the vast majority of those who "use God's name in vain" are simply displaying ignorance or laziness of verbal skills, probably more in line with vulgarity than blasphemy. But many are serious about God. And surely those who are thoughtful and decent will avoid the intentional use of such language.
Cussing
These are not words intended to belittle or demean, nor hate speech. And I know the word "cuss" is simply a colloquialism likely to be avoided by one with good speech habits. But it is an appropriate term for this inappropriate, but highly common, word usage. To cuss, I think, is to choose to use crude and at least slightly offensive terminology in crafting a statement or response. Sometimes we say "it slips out". But let's be honest. It was in there all along. It came out most likely because, at the moment, we determined it was the best way to express what we were thinking.
Let me tell you a little bit about myself:
*I think I have at my disposal a fairly good vocabulary. At my disposal, in any given situation, will be a variety of words from which I can choose to express myself. I do not have to cuss because of a limited vocabulary.
*I understand the importance of social deportment. I would not want a poor choice of words to reflect badly upon those connected with me. For instance, I could not imagine using a cuss word in a sermon, or in any kind of connection with my church. I would not talk in such way with my mom, or in meeting a new neighbor. Respect for others and for those I represent precludes such language.
*When I hear cuss words used, most often I do not make a big deal of the matter. I understand people develop speech habits for a variety of reasons. While I avoid the use of such language, I try to be quick to offer grace in listening to others. If the language becomes too crude, generally I will simply be quiet or walk away. And most people are smart enough to appropriately adjust the choice of language.
*I know there is a class of person out there, most often religious and connected with my brand of the Christian faith, very quick to express offense and disapproval of the missteps of others. This person finds a quiet glee in making note of the imperfections of others. As they lower another, they feel raised to a higher notch. So I try to be on zealous guard when around such persons. I mind my p's and q's, and often find myself utilizing the "language of zion" for their appeasement. I think I do such because I know such people are dangerous. But the problems is there are just so many of them. And they seem to show up, with lazar eyesight and highly sensitive ears, at my most vulnerable moments. Which brings me to a final point...
*I am a sinner. I may play many roles in life, but those who know me best will have to nod their heads in agreement, "That guy has his faults.". I'll compare my speech habits with those of most. And I wonder what the Pope says when he stubs his toe first thing in the morning? One can express surprise, frustration, anger, exasperation in many ways. I am of the opinion many of those expressions still can be technically defined as "cussing", even if they do not sound like the equivalent word for "a barrier constructed to contain the flow of water".
Final Thoughts
Sunday night we had our monthly Church Business Conference. Our volunteer Youth Minister stood to give his report of the activities and plans of the ministry to teenagers. I know him to be a good guy, with a genuine heart to love God and serve others. He also gets nervous when in front of a crowd and thus tends to keep talking far beyond the point. So he was rambling about various things with most of his audience tuning out, when I caught the end of run-on sentence. "... like us Old Farts!" In the company of prim and proper church folk, with a big cross casting its shadow upon the lectern, this guy deigned to say "fart" in the church. We all definitely heard the word. It was very much out of place. There was nervous laughter. And he knew he said the wrong thing immediately after the word came out. But it was too late! He rambled on through his report. Then I stood to continue the meeting. I looked back to see mostly a smiling group of people who thought it humorous that this guy had unintentionally said the wrong thing. But there were also a couple of red-faced, disapproving persons. First I said to our recording secretary, "How about let's be sure to strike that one sentence from our church minutes?" Everyone laughed, and agreed. And the meeting went on.
Grace. Now, that's never a cuss word!
