The conversation around here has been about the need to "turn the other cheek", an admonition from Jesus found in Matthew 5:39.  It is not a casual statement.  Within context of the Sermon on the Mount, it is to be part of the lifestyle approach of those who would claim to be followers of Christ.  Now our debate is whether such would be good foreign policy for our nation?  And I want to reserve comment on that aspect for other places.  But I know it is an appropriate personal lifestyle.  And I also know that I am not very good at it.

My tendency is to rise to anger quickly when I feel I've been insulted or unfairly confronted, to quickly become combative.  Imagine that!  Words come out, actions taken, positions expressed, that can really complicate things down the line.  Such words are spoken under the adrenaline of the moment.  And you and I know what tends to happen when we disengage wisdom and "shoot from the lip".  Likely what is said is not very wise.  It is not well accepted, tends to exacerbate the situation, and often leads to perceptions and relationship complications that will be difficult to change.  Lots of times, when I go into attack mode, it is really a defense mechanism.  If I could be honest, likely the response would be: "I am hurt that you would have this opinion of me.  I am injured that you think so little of our relationship that you could say or do this thing without regard to how it would make me feel or how it would alter our relationship."  Instead, the effort it taken to strike a fatal blow.  After all, I've been caught off-guard.  I feel unprepared to do battle with logic, and am afraid you will win if I try.

In practical matters, how does one turn the other cheek?
*I need to be sufficiently assured of my own value as a person and general respect I've earned from others that I feel no need to go into full warfare mode because someone has confronted me or challenged something that I hold important and concerning which I have taken a public stance.
*When taken aback by the words or actions of another person, silence and inaction would be a good initial response.  It would give me time to think, and pray, and consider...
-Does this person have a valid point?
-Even if he is incorrect in many things, is there truth within what he is saying?
-Did this person truly say what I think I have heard?
-Was my injury his earnest intent?
-Will an aggressive response, at this moment, help the situation?
*Often the other person is angry, aggressive, and even insulting for reasons that have little to do with the immediate matter at hand.
*Perhaps I would behave similarly, or even more so, were I to have walked in his shoes?

This trying to follow Jesus is not easy!  It would be nice to just focus on the problems of others and offer smug solutions and retorts.  But, no!  He just keeps turning the mirror back onto myself!  I look at Jesus.... and look at myself....  Good grief, there is not a whole lot of resemblance. 

Thank God for grace.  Thank God for His persistent and sometimes not-so-gentle love.  God makes life to be a fascinating process.

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posted by: truthserum42 (reply)
post date: 03.21.09 (10:00 am)

Welcome to the club Pastor, the human element within all of us leaves a lot to be desired. I to suffer from the same syndrome as much as I try to avoid being aggressive and defensive I still find myself doing a lot of apologizing for hurt feelings, but thank for God for his amazing Grace. Praying we'll get better in being humble.

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posted by: alaskawildflowers (reply)
post date: 03.21.09 (10:58 am)

I have joined the "complaint free world," and it is amazing how the spotlight has turned on me! I used to think I was a pretty positive person, but since I am trying to go 21 days in a row without gossiping, criticizing or complaining, instead I feel like I'm walking around with no skin. Self improvement is an empowering thing-- and if we continue trying to better ourselves, no matter what facet we focus on-- you on turning the other cheek, me on not complaining, the world is a much better place.
I think when we master ourselves, THAT's when the kingdom of heaven is added. :-)

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posted by: fractalmom (reply)
post date: 03.21.09 (12:51 pm)

i am frail, prone to sin and not very pious at times.

i think i am what God had in mind when he sent Himself down here in Jesus Christ.

a sinner who tries, but most often fails.

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posted by: bawdy (reply)
post date: 03.21.09 (1:55 pm)

God himself was known to lash out. Look no further than Sodom and Gomorrah. Turning the other cheek is difficult, especially when wrongly affronted. Most people fail to follow the lead of Christ in this regard, that's for sure.

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posted by: auntconi (reply)
post date: 03.22.09 (8:01 pm)

Settle down PD ~ don't get so upset ~ go to my blog and have some cookies! That should help! Have two, one for each cheek!

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posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 03.24.09 (6:19 am)

What works well is to constantly shake your head back and forth, the more violently, the better. That way, not only are you always turning your cheek, but there's the bonus effect of people tending to see you as a crazy person, and as such they don't even bother offending or insulting you.

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posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 03.24.09 (6:33 am)

Reply to: truthserum42
Ahhh, humility. It does not come naturally.

Club. Is there a club for this?
I knnow some truly humble persons. And I am not referring to persons with an extremely ow self image, or artificialy sweet-syrupy-humility that makes me want to gag, but those rare individuals who have truly come to behave as if life is about loving others and being a blessing/encouragement to others. Such people serve as a source of refreshment and energy to the rest of us.

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posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 03.24.09 (6:35 am)

Reply to: alaskawildflowers
"...I am trying to go 21 days in a row without gossiping, criticizing or complaining..."
So, how's it going? Don't complain about how hard it has been.

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posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 03.24.09 (6:37 am)

Reply to: fractalmom
I guess there are two kinds of people in this world. Sinners. And.... Well, I guess there are those who think they are not sinners?

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posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 03.24.09 (6:43 am)

Reply to: bawdy
For sure, the Jesus of the Bible was rather straightforward and intense when he felt the need to confront evil. He called the Pharisees a brood of vipers and hypocrites, and as you have said, drove the money changers out of the temple with a whip. Refreshingly, Jesus hated evil but never hated persons. People of all persuasions sensed this. However, those of evil intent seemed never to buy-into his invitation to relationship. His unwillingness to accept their behavior and attitude caused them to hate him more and more, and eventually lead to his crucifixion. The lesson, as I see it, is to realize there is a type of person who will never be your friend, who will hate you more and more simply because you are an impediment to their agenda. The very smart ones wil try to make you doubt yourself and what you stand for.

Thanks for a thoughtful comment.

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posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 03.24.09 (6:45 am)

Reply to: auntconi
Cookies. I'm on a diet. Cookies? O.K. Just one. Maybe two. Give me all those cookies!

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posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 03.24.09 (6:47 am)

Reply to: surrogate
Does this mean I can no longer insult you? Please tell me it isn't true.

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posted by: intricategirl (reply)
post date: 04.07.09 (4:23 pm)

I always thought there was something a little... um, bold about turning the cheek. It's always presented as being passive, but I don't quite see it that way. If I was in a fight and someone hit me on the cheek, what would happen if I turned my head so they could hit the other one? It's almost like a dare. It's like standing there and saying, "Yeah, you're a tough guy, but I'm still standing. Hit me again."

Could just be my interpretation of it, but I don't see it as very passive.

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