Better To Be Fat And Humble
Bill has been a fat man for all the years I have known him, until recently. He is a truck driver who works extremely hard. And he eats hard. I’ve accompanied him to social occasions and buffet restaurants and can personally attest to his massive eating capacity. He’s also stated as fact that he drinks at least a gallon of whole milk daily. Thus Bill ballooned to 260 pounds. Several months ago he went on a diet. I do not think he followed any particular program, but simply stopped some unhealthy eating habits. He cut out all the milk, second helpings at the table, and desserts. Now he has lost about 60 pounds. He looks good. But the problem is that he is prideful of his accomplishment.
About a month ago he said something to me about being overweight. Since he said it with jovial laughing, I took it as friendly jesting, and countered with a similar smile that he should be the last person to give opinion about another person’s weight. That’s when he told me he had lost over 40 pounds. I congratulated him, and then spent the rest of the day wondering if everybody was thinking I was a fat tub of lard! Then my wife told me that Bill was pointing toward a young man and commenting to others about how much weight he had gained. I know him as a fine gentleman who is sensitive about the matter and know he would be hurt to hear such criticism.
To me, this illustrates the capacity of too many people to be far too slow to show mercy and quick to judge. Bill is an extrovert, so he probably does not worry too much about what others think about him. Many people, though, struggle with self-esteem and will hurt for days from the slightest criticism. Folks like Bill may accurately judge such persons to be overly sensitive and tell them to get over it. But why hurt another person when it can easily be avoided? More importantly, Bill should not forget so quickly what it feels like to have a weight problem. I have often said that it is absolutely unfair that some can eat with abandon and still have a svelte figure, while others seem to only think about a doughnut and gain a pound. It is one of the great inequities of life! Bill worked hard to lose the weight. It involved a lot of self-discipline. Likely he looks around and wonders why all these other people cannot show the same self-control? So he opens his mouth, at least in slight contempt, and offers criticism.
Meanwhile many hear his words with a wizened smile. They know the real victory is not in losing the weight, but keeping it off. They will quietly revisit the conversation, or at least his criticism, in six months. Likely Bill will be back to 260 pounds- sad vindication.
Pro 16:18 NASB
(18) Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling.
Mat 5:7 NASB
(7) Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
03.25.09 (11:06 am) [
edit]
posted by:
RebeccaNelle (
reply)
post date:
03.25.09 (8:57 am)
I don't know Bill, but I do know that it is a masterful accomplishment to lose weight....as it is to quit smoking, drinking, etc. Food can be an addiction like anything else. Being human means sometimes not being able to refrain from showing how proud you are of your effort. As you said, he might come to realize that it is harder to keep it off than take it off, but let's hope that he is successful, and that he will somehow realize that from his effort can come inspiration for others, without his having to say a word! :)
posted by:
OldSchool (
reply)
post date:
03.25.09 (10:21 am)
To me it all comes down to "treating others the way you want to be treated." That is the self-test I try to do in every situation.
Your last line (before the bible verses) could also be re-worded to say "What goes around, comes around" which is another theory I believe in.
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
03.25.09 (3:05 pm)
You'd think he would be more empathetic towards them, but I congratulate him for his achievement.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.28.09 (5:46 am)
Reply to: RebeccaNelle
Oh, I don't wish him ill-will. Just maybe a slight little trip or two, not enough to injure, but perhaps to make him say, "Hey. Maybe I'm going about this in the wrong way?" I realize to lose weight can give someone a tremendous boost of self-confidence. Self-confidence should be tempered with humility and kindness, lest we start feeling superior and sying things that are hurtful.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.28.09 (5:51 am)
Reply to: OldSchool
The Golden Rule is a fine way to live. We all need to remember it when we come to those points in life where we have an advantage over the other guy. Even if that advantage is our weight.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.28.09 (5:53 am)
Reply to: bawdy
Yeah, he's done well. This guy is approaching retirement age, and works extremely hard in a physically demanding job. He's a bear, and so when he cuts back on his eating he probably loses weight rather quickly.
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
03.28.09 (7:53 pm)
As a totally humble person myself - easy for me since I'm perfect - I hate judgmental people like Bill. As someone with only love in my heart for others, I consider Bill's temporary weight loss as simply a means to show off. We all know that there are some of us that are meant to be overweight like God made us, and avoiding fatty foods and eating "healthier" as he has done, is an affront to the almighty. his creator.
This has upset me mightily.
I need a smoke.
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
03.31.09 (6:42 am)
I am sorely disappointed Dave. I threw you a nice fastball, right in your wheelhouse, and you didn't even swing! I expected a snappy comeback to my comment by now. Geez.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
03.31.09 (6:52 am)
Reply to: surrogate
Yeah, I know. I've been sitting here trying to determine the course I want to go with this blog and this place. It seems the days of serious dialog, of give-and-take and ongoing conversation that moves beyond just the silly stuff, are pretty well gone. But, again, often times I like the surface conversation. So sometimes I think I want to find another place to interact, like Xanga or Vox. I do Facebook and it is nice to interact with folks I haven't known or connected with in many years. Still, I've invested a lot around here. So, it comes to mind that maybe I should hit it hard and do a week or two of daily posts. Of course they would suffer in quality, since I really can't put out more than a couple or at least semi-interesting pieces in a week. But, after all, this is online journaling, not real journalism! So, I sit here at the computer and contemplate. It's a dangerous thing, you know.
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
03.31.09 (7:05 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
The goal, eventually anyway, HAS to be to have more people reading what you have to say. I don't bother trying to be real serious here too often these days simply because the folks that ARE here - those who've been here a while - pretty much already know where we all stand on things. I keep hoping things'll turn around on ol' tblog, but it doesn't seem likely any more, does it? I've already figured out that I don't "draw" readers like I'd hoped to do by now, but what the heck.
Oh well.
Enjoy your vacation.
