Go Away Little Man
Mom has a guy wanting to marry her.
She told me about him several days ago. I asked what she thought about him. She said he was a nice man, and a good cook, but was not much to look at. I responded with a quizzical laugh, when she added, “Well, I guess I’m not much to look at either.” Actually I think she is quite well preserved for 88 years of age. She has made herself mostly a recluse in a high-rise apartment complex for Senior Citizens. So, I am happy that someone wants to socialize with her. However I very much wish he would limit his intentions to simpler matters like potluck meals, puzzles in the lobby, and Friday night bingo. But, apparently he has marrying on his mind.
I met him yesterday. He’s not much to look at.
We returned from the hospital. That’s right, Mom spent three days in the hospital recovering from what appears to have been a precursor to a stroke. We were anxious for her to settle in for an evening of rest when a knock came upon the door. As I opened, the fellow sort of pushed his way inside and insisted upon taking a seat. And he stayed. Reluctantly I made conversation with him for about thirty minutes, and throughout the exchange he regularly made reference to his wife of 50-plus years. She passed away less than two years ago. And, he is obviously lost and lonely. Almost I felt pity and humor for the guy, except that I knew he was angling for my mom.
He had a gift for her, to go along with the collection of other items of romantic bribery piled over in the corner of the room. I do not remember the nature of the innocuous and useless objects, except for a bluish-green ceramic mountainside that he proudly told me he had bought at a yard sale for $2. Dangling from his hand was a tin-can robot pieced together with rivets and wires. “It’s yours,” he beamed her way with glistening dentures and watery eyes. And I agree it was a striking work of art. It stood about a foot high, sardine cans for feet and coke-bottle lids for eyes. The body was refuse from a large can of beans, and hands were the dangerously sharp snippings of soft drink containers. Mom seemed pleased. “Oh you shouldn’t!” she gushed, as she hugged the old coot. He cooed brightly. “I sell ‘em for $20, but yours is free!”
Well, I had enough of this. It was time for me to leave. They need to date at least a year before they even consider marriage. I called my brother and asked if we need to corner the guy somewhere in a dark hallway and do something to change his mind? He did not think it was a good idea. But I am going to have a serious talk with the guy. There are plenty of other chicks in the henhouse besides my mother.
04.07.09 (10:32 am) [
edit]
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (7:55 am)
Too funny. Think maybe he'll offer to adopt you?
posted by:
PooPotPie (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (8:28 am)
I just read an article dealing with loss. From experience from losing a fiance in 2001, I know that this article has some validity to it. It says that for every year of marriage you would need two months to recover from the loss of the relatioship marraige or divorce. So if he was married for at least 50 years he would need eight years to get over her death (that's if my math is right, which I'm not good at).
That should buy you some more time to plot...
posted by:
Ladyg (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (8:39 am)
This is funny PD, your mom has a boyfriend. I know it's hard to take but don't hurt him. They make each other happy.
posted by:
OldSchool (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (8:47 am)
I agree with you on the dating for a while before getting married. Whether you are young or old, I feel that is a good process to go through.
Funny stuff, PD. Just don't end up on America's Most Wanted...
posted by:
tampi (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (9:11 am)
wish them the happiness
posted by:
alaskawildflowers (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (9:44 am)
When my granny moved into the assisted living facility at age 89, she met a 94 year old guy who loved her. He had been single about 2 years; she, about 25. They were in love, I think; and it lasted until his cancer came back and her stroke-induced dementia meant they both moved into other nursing homes to be closer to their families. Even though her mind was mostly in the past when he died, she cried buckets, and said she would never love again.
Let your mother have the happiness she deserves.
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (9:50 am)
have the lawyers draw up a pre-nuptial agreement and then leave them to cupid!
xoxo
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (10:30 am)
Awww ~ a tin can robot ~ with dangly feet that he made himself ~ how sweet!
;)
posted by:
onsunday (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (12:37 pm)
This is so nice, and you should be happy for your mom, let her have a good time for as long as she is alive..:) dont ruin her fun and his fun...
posted by:
bawdy (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:23 pm)
Your mom deserves happiness, so don't tamper too much. There are few eligible bachelors for aging women because marriage has a way of killing men.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:44 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
"...marriage has a way of killing men." Well said.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:45 pm)
Reply to: onsunday
I don't mind the good time. I question if she is mentally stable enough to have a healthy relationship. Dating- o.k., marriage, I don't think so.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:46 pm)
Reply to: auntconi
Sweet? Bizarre, I am thinking.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:48 pm)
Reply to: mimi
Pre-nup makes sense. I guess, if I were approaching 90 years of age, I might not be in favor of a long engagement either. I'm not convinced she is all that interested in this guy. However, I called today, and she told me he took her out for lunch. He needs to stop doing things like that.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:50 pm)
Reply to: alaskawildflowers
Love is great. However, I think the guy is just lonely, and still grieving sorrowfully for his wife. I don't think Mom should be her replacement. That's not love. Let's give this guy some more time to overcome his grief, and then see how things go...
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:51 pm)
Reply to: tampi
Happiness? O.K., that's certainly a worthwhile wish.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:53 pm)
Reply to: OldSchool
Oh, who would really miss just one old man? Should he mysteriously one day be found bound and tied in surrogate's front yard, surely I would never be suspected. Those kinds of things sometimes simply happen. Then, he would likely leave my Mom alone.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:55 pm)
Reply to: Ladyg
I think pursuing her makes him happy. I think just having some human contact makes her happy. But I'm not sure this is a relationship based upon love so much as companionship. Fine, they can be friends and spend time together...
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:56 pm)
Reply to: PooPotPie
An 8-year-engagement sounds good to me. I think I will quote you on this.
And, I am sorry for your loss. That must have been very tough, something you never entirely get over.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (2:57 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
Were he filthy rich, I might consider. Alas, he's as poor as mom. Maybe he's delusional and thinks I have money!
posted by:
barnabus1 (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (3:29 pm)
Want to borrow a machine gun? or needing a hit man...hehe
posted by:
mimi (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (4:28 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
why??? it's not like she will get pregnant or aids or something...let her have her fun...she may just want to "tempt" him and leave him out to dry! LOL!!! you meddle too much...
posted by:
PooPotPie (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (6:55 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
PastorDave you are free to quote me and you are right, I may never truly get over it. However, I know that it will make me stronger as soon as I work out all of my emotions. This is a great way for me to do it.
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (8:35 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
What I was referring to what the fact that he made it himself and it was 'for your mother' ... that is sweet!
posted by:
auntconi (
reply)
post date:
04.07.09 (8:39 pm)
What? He took her out for lunch?
How old is he? So he isn't too old to drive then?
I was thinking he was 88, but now I remember that as your mother's age. Oh well, I hope they had a nice time. Hope he is a careful driver!
posted by:
seochris (
reply)
post date:
04.08.09 (3:42 am)
Well Pastor,
You seem to be quite protective about your mom, which is very appreciable. But I the guy just has good intentions maybe marriage to the least
TK
Seochris
posted by:
surrogate (
reply)
post date:
04.09.09 (4:40 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
Dave, he doesn't need your money. He's building a business as a $20.00 per copy found object artist. What if he hooks up with the recycling department? He might get all his cans at a discount.
posted by:
rosietulips (
reply)
post date:
04.09.09 (10:46 am)
Ah, PD, you are so cute! It's cute you are protective of your mom.
posted by:
scubadiva (
reply)
post date:
04.12.09 (4:52 pm)
Wonder what the protocol is? Asking you for your mom's hand in marriage? That'd be freaky. I'd make sure that there was a pre-nup. ;)
posted by:
scubadiva (
reply)
post date:
04.12.09 (4:53 pm)
Isn't Viagra now covered by Medicare?
LMAO
(Sorry, it's your mom but... I had to ask!)
